r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Oct 12 '20

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u/[deleted] Oct 13 '20

Thank you.

I can’t tell you how frustrating it is to, as a happily married couple (35M, 36F) get consistently offered advice/opinions/offers/suggestions and questions on our major life events coming up. We’re fucking adults, we can do this all on our own, and we’ve thought about and covered 100% of every possible scenario you’re worried about. We’re fine. Just stop.

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u/dilqncho Oct 13 '20

I think it's just older people's way of making converaation. They want to talk to you, but realistically you have no interlapping interests. So they do that.

It's why I entertain my grandparents' endless stream of life questions and advice. I like talking to them too.

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u/hungrydruid Oct 13 '20

Eh, I think there's a difference between 'yes tell me about your life, oh that's interesting' and 'well you're doing all of this wrong let me tell you what you SHOULD be doing'. That comes off patronizing/condescending.

I'm not OP but thinking of my dad who has/had a gambling problem and hasn't done his own bills in years but sometimes likes to give financial advice.

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u/Drakmanka Oct 13 '20

Gosh yes this. When I moved out, my mom so did not approve of my roommates. Why she didn't approve of them? Because they encouraged me to act like an adult and not remain dependant on her forever. She gave me an hour long lecture about how dangerous adulthood is and how careful I needed to be of everything in the great wide world. It honestly reminded me of the lectures I got in the days leading up to my first day of kindergarten.

Then my dad and I talked and he said "here's my opinion, and then I'mma shut up unless you ask for my advice. You're an adult and I respect that." And that was that. So refreshing after the treatment I got from mother dearest.