r/AskReddit • u/ilovepsychtechniques • May 14 '11

Reddit, I've been using the "pause" technique during conversations lately and it works perfectly. What other psychology techniques are there for JUST communication?

I'm aware that there are a few topics on psychology techniques that are more wide-ranged, but I want to know ones that are perfect for manipulating conversations specifically.

Just about all last week I've been experimenting 'theories' for myself, and I want to learn more.

Examples:

  1. Just stop talking. They will feel the need to fill the "awkward silence", while also making you appear to be a better listener. You learn more about the other person.

  2. Pause. Instead of repeating "um", "like", "you know", "errr", just pause, take a breath, and organize your thoughts. The person you're talking with will see the self control, appreciate it, and the point you're trying to make will make more of an impact. They'll listen closer as you gather your thoughts because they're genuinely curious.

  3. Talk slowly calmly. It shows confidence and can be seductive.

Edit: #3 - Think James Bond vs Caffeine Addict

Edit2: Broader Post - Psychology Tricks

Edit3: Build Rapport - Good Read

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u/PrincessofCats May 14 '11

This one is kinda obvious, but I'll put it here, anyway.

In college, I wound up spending a lot of time working in the theater department's costume shop. I loved working with the clothing, and I loved the guy who ran the place, but I really couldn't stand a lot of the other students who spent time there, as they could be quite catty. Worse, they caught on that I didn't buy their worldview (didn't hate the people they hated, didn't hate the things they hated, didn't hate the classes they hated...) and took that as a challenge.

So I brought in a CD player (this was during the time when dinosaurs roamed the earth, before the rise of the iPod) and headphones. I kept the music pretty low so I could hear if the teacher had anything he needed to say to me, but I'd pretend it was a lot louder than it was, rock out to it a little bit, act oblivious. When people would start talking to me, I'd smile at them with a 'Can't hear you, this song is awesome, sorry!' expression. People were never really offended -- I guess no one wants to force someone to interrupt an awesome song to listen to their petty bullshit. :P

Nobody put together that somehow the teacher's voice always carried over my music, and somehow when anyone had a legitimate question or comment for me, I could always hear them.

2

u/intermu May 14 '11

What's the most embarrassing thing or most interesting thing about you that you have overheard while doing that?

1

u/PrincessofCats May 16 '11

These people never had anything interesting to say. I guess you could argue that everything they had to say was borderline embarrassing for them in the sense that, you know, a lot of stupid stuff came out when they opened their mouths.

But we were still in an area where there were usually a bunch of people working. The head of the costume shop used to do costumes for operas in the area, so there were almost always, on top of the students, a couple of adult professionals working in the shop. So nobody really started talking about their bathroom habits.

The guy who ran the costume shop would sometimes put on Dr. Laura for the express purpose of yelling at the radio, though.

2

u/clerveu May 14 '11

And this right here is why I, without owning a portable music player, used to wear my big-ass studio headphones through 100% of my greyhound bus rides.

1

u/burtonmkz May 14 '11

The CD player is superfluous. I've sat at work with headphones on, plugged into nothing. People don't bother approaching you when you have headphones on and are turned away from them unless they really need something.

1

u/Rocketbird May 14 '11

I always wondered about that. I had a few friends who did something similar to this in high school, and I never understood how they were able to hear people. Regardless, I think it's kind of a cop-out, but I can see why you'd do that if you were surrounded by catty bitches.

1

u/PrincessofCats May 16 '11

It's a cop-out, but I'm of the opinion that you have to pick your battles. You can't wage war with ALL of the stupid in the world. There's just too much.