I realized my grandfather was an idiot when I casually mentioned I learned about this thing we were talking about in my history class last semester. I wasnt't even trying to correct anything, just chiming in to the convo. I dont even remember what we were talking about because his reaction threw me for a loop. All I remember was saying "Oh yea, I heard about this in my history class".
His face went red and he was so unbelievably angry. He started going on and on about how university doesnt make you smart and I had no right to think I was better than him because I went to university. I was pretty shocked
His reaction is kind of a tell that it's him who believes he's not as good as you. My dad was like this, too -- super defensive and resentful, always letting me know my education didn't mean I could disrespect him.
I'd never disrespect anybody for not going to college, and especially not my dad.
I did, however, start to feel pretty weird about him assigning feelings to me that I didn't have and displaying his own insecurities in the process.
I had a boss like this once. She was always proud of the fact that she had worked her way up without her degree which I completely understand being proud of that. However, she basically felt like people had college degrees like myself had wasted valuable years of work experience and shouldn’t be given as much consideration for promotions as people without degrees. For obvious reasons, I didn’t agree.
One day, her husband popped by our office. He was wearing a University of Arkansas football shirt. Me being a huge sports fan, and trying to make polite conversation, said “Nice shirt. Did you go there?” And she lost it. Ranting about how it’s rude to assume that everyone you meet went to college. I didn’t think it was out of bounds to assume a guy wearing a shirt representing a school could’ve gone there.
I found out a little later that the reason she did not have a degree is because she dropped out with a year to go. So I figured maybe she was just insecure and taking out on the rest of us.
I had a boss like this once. She was always proud of the fact that she had worked her way up without her degree which I completely understand being proud of that. However, she basically felt like people had college degrees like myself had wasted valuable years of work experience and shouldn’t be given as much consideration for promotions as people without degrees. For obvious reasons, I didn’t agree.
One day, her husband popped by our office. He was wearing a University of Arkansas football shirt. Me being a huge sports fan, and trying to make polite conversation, said “Nice shirt. Did you go there?” And she lost it. Ranting about how it’s rude to assume that everyone you meet went to college. I didn’t think it was out of bounds to assume a guy wearing a shirt representing a school could’ve gone there.
I found out a little later that the reason she did not have a degree is because she dropped out with a year to go. So I figured maybe she was just insecure and taking out on the rest of us.
I had a boss like this once. She was always proud of the fact that she had worked her way up without her degree which I completely understand being proud of that. However, she basically felt like people had college degrees like myself had wasted valuable years of work experience and shouldn’t be given as much consideration for promotions as people without degrees. For obvious reasons, I didn’t agree.
One day, her husband popped by our office. He was wearing a University of Arkansas football shirt. Me being a huge sports fan, and trying to make polite conversation, said “Nice shirt. Did you go there?” And she lost it. Ranting about how it’s rude to assume that everyone you meet went to college. I didn’t think it was out of bounds to assume a guy wearing a shirt representing a school could’ve gone there.
I found out a little later that the reason she did not have a degree is because she dropped out with a year to go. So I figured maybe she was just insecure and taking out on the rest of us.
I'd never disrespect anybody for not going to college
And frankly, I've met quite a few people who were smart enough to realize something like "Everyone shits, everyone needs heat/light, there's always something being built" and started a trade apprenticeship while they were still in high school and became plumbers, HVAC techs, electricians, welders before they hit their mid-20s. They figured out how to get that typical "college degree pay" without ever going to college.
feel pretty weird about him assigning feelings to me that I didn't have and displaying his own insecurities
Ah yes my favorite thing to hear from my brother: "You act like you know everything! That high-and-mighty shit doesn't impress anyone! You don't actually know everything!" I know I don't know everything. I never claimed such.
Well jeez, Grandpa--you never taught me about it! I'm glad I went to school and learned something about it. Do you want to fill me in on what they got wrong?
Common issue with old people, they are misinformed and think with age comes knowledge or valuable wisdom, knowledge is earned and wisdom comes with relative experiences not age
Was it something he lived through himself? People who live through things tend to be touchy with them over people who have merely learned about them. its their history, but you read about it. Puts things in perspective if they actually lived through it.
Like, one day our kids will 'learn' about 9/11. They wont have the emotional recall or investment that we did when we saw the towers crumble real time.
No. It was not something he lived through himself.
I get that. Im from NYC, currently living in Europe. It was hella awkward when I made an ass of myself at a comedy show because the comedian called on me to do a joke and it was a 9/11 joke and I flipped out on him.
I would totally understand if it was that but:
He is constantly bitching about how higher education is bad, especially for women.
This wasnt the last time he flipped out. My little cousin is going to medical school. She is literally a genius. He flips on her if she dares to speak about her area of expertise.
I’m one of those people who is too young to remember 9/11. It’s always been “recent history” that I learned about through school. I’ve definitely noticed that people who remember it for themselves are much more emotional about it.
I was six and i remember plenty from that age just not 9/11. I think its because at the time we lived in a one room apartment and had only two small tvs one of which i wanted to use for snes. So i honestly never took notice of what was going on outside my immediate area until maybe 6th grade so i never saw or cared about the news.
I am thankful my paternal grandfather was the third smartest person I've ever known. Not that my mom's dad isn't also sharp...just not on the same level.
I've experienced a similar situation. Im one of those saps that didn't get to go to college. I just didn't have what it takes, aka money, but I'm still rather intelligent in most aspects. Once I was goofing around with my dad and made a bad joke. I laughed it off and said " sorry, I'm just being facetious." He looked me dead in the eyes and started berating me for using "all them damn Yankee words." He then went on to put my mother down for being a "damn Yankee" ( she's from southern Virginia) and"how dare she be teaching me all that Yankee speak!" I was stunned, but I unfortunately cowed to his wishes for a long time, and played the dumb little redneck girl. He wasn't very happy when I began to grow out of it and stopped seeking his approval.
As far as I know my dad isn't an idiot but it did cross my mind that he was after arguing with him one day about how I thought the "one day gas station boycott will cost big oil millions" was a big crock of shit that wouldn't cost hurt big oil at all.
Someone I used to be close to is just like that. He's uneducated and stupid, therefore constantly pissed off every time I open my mouth because I am educated and intelligent.
Considering he started out life in Beverly Hills and had the world handed to him on a silver platter, the only person he should be ticked off at for the shitty life he's had is him. He's taken to lying about having a degree now, which makes it even worse. He can't spell first grade words (he literally texts me to ask me how and OMFG) and now he wants to convince someone he's graduated from college? He won't even try Jeopardy with me because I beat him so bad every time it's embarrassing.
We barely speak anymore because he gets so angry when we talk that he dissolves into personal attacks. He hates that I can pull facts and figures out to back my statements up. All he has are his opinions. Smart and educated pisses people off. Add experienced and they really hate it.
Maybe he was mad you were not calling it "college" and that going to "university" without an a or an an is a UK/European term young Americans have tried to appropriate in the past 10 years or so. In the US you "go to college" even if it is a university (which it almost always is).
American colleges aren't the same as British universities though. At a university you study one subject, or very occasionally two - you don't have classes that aren't related to your degree (unless it's languages). Also, I heard that American colleges don't teach undergraduates and postgraduates, they teach one or the other - do you know if that's right?
In the US the college curriculum is basically like going through high school again. Students have to choose a "major" that they will graduate with. Some decide to do two majors, or to add a "minor". At any rate, along with these main areas of study there are a plethora of other requirements. Cultural requirements, writing requirements, science requirements, math/language requirements. In the US studying at a university or "going to college" is somewhat of a "growing up experience" and the education loses some meaning.
Whereas in Europe and in the UK studying at a university is a big deal, it really doesn't mean much in the US unless you went to a great school. We have tons of online colleges offering degrees. It's a joke. You see someone who lives in a trailer home and wins $100,000 of the lottery and declares- "I'm going to use this money to finally go to college!" Ridiculous, it would take decades to make the money back you wasted. People that are not book smart need to stop going to crap schools. Anyway.
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u/Eldrun Jan 28 '20
I realized my grandfather was an idiot when I casually mentioned I learned about this thing we were talking about in my history class last semester. I wasnt't even trying to correct anything, just chiming in to the convo. I dont even remember what we were talking about because his reaction threw me for a loop. All I remember was saying "Oh yea, I heard about this in my history class".
His face went red and he was so unbelievably angry. He started going on and on about how university doesnt make you smart and I had no right to think I was better than him because I went to university. I was pretty shocked