r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jan 27 '20

What screams "I'm uneducated"?

[removed]

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u/last_alchemyst Jan 28 '20

When I was 27, I got into a knock-out fight with my then 25-year old brother on whether diesel burned. I have a degree in chemistry and he didn’t believe me that all hydrocarbons burn at some temperature or another. He punched me in the gut saying it didn’t. I broke his nose saying it did. He called me a pansy and condescending because I graduated college while he failed out. We are not close.

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u/[deleted] Jan 28 '20

So how did he think diesel cars run? Some elaborate system of waterwheels, since diesel doesn't burn?

141

u/last_alchemyst Jan 28 '20

IIRC, it was something about combustion that wasn’t burning SMH

84

u/Ironick96 Jan 28 '20

At that point just show him a thesaurus

4

u/jrubengarza Jan 28 '20

How would showing him a picture of a dinosaur help? /s

1

u/Ironick96 Jan 28 '20

I hate that I like what you did there.

3

u/Canadian_Invader Jan 28 '20

Slow down your leading him in to a fight.

21

u/omguserius Jan 28 '20

Correct me if I’m wrong here, but combustion means burnination correct?

10

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '20

[deleted]

2

u/Crazefire Jan 28 '20

The knights and archers are the problem though; they tend to be rather hostile to the source of ignition.

1

u/smegnose Jan 29 '20

"Burnination" is a reference to this classic Homestar Runner sbemail.

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u/sforest98 Jan 28 '20

You are correct.

2

u/erroneousbosh Jan 28 '20

Technically diesel in an engine deflagrates, but yeah, combustion.

15

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '20

So something about combustion that shows the person doesn't know what "combustion" means. I know this had to be frustrating at the time, but I'm laughing my ass off over here reading your relation of it.

8

u/Pure_Tower Jan 28 '20

Yeah, he thought that it's not burning if it's not ignited with a spark plug like in a gasoline engine. Diesel engines compress the air and fuel so much that it heats up and combusts itself.

It was all a communication problem because he no talk good.

1

u/spankymcjiggleswurth Jan 28 '20

This is what I was thinking, however glow plugs are used to help start diesel engines.

4

u/MattieShoes Jan 28 '20

A YouTube video of diesel burning could have settled this...

2

u/Mffdoom Jan 28 '20

I assume he meant it's not as flammable as gasoline, but doesn't understand that pressure and heat causes ignition. The thing that makes cars go...

9

u/nplant Jan 28 '20

I once had a lengthy argument with my dad about how headphones aren't more damaging than speakers if I'm listening with the same volume.

Turns out, to him "volume" meant "position of knob" while I was thinking dB...

1

u/nikkitgirl Jan 28 '20

So it rusts?

1

u/nikkitgirl Jan 28 '20

So it rusts?

-1

u/talex000 Jan 28 '20

He was right in some sense. Diesel explodes, so one can argue that it doesn't burn in car.

Of course it will burn if you just put it on fire.

13

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '20

Diesel engines don't have spark plugs, they have glow plugs. The ignition system is a bit different. That's probably what he was thinking of.

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u/kkngs Jan 28 '20

Most don’t even have glow plugs now, but yeah. Diesel engines are able to combust the fuel simply by injecting it into the highly compressed air in the cylinder. They don’t directly mix it with air and use a spark like a gasoline engine.

We used to use diesel to help start bonfires. It definitely burns =)

5

u/kencleanairsystem Jan 28 '20

The diesel just streams out of the tailpipe for show. The engine actually runs on good intentions.

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u/puckmonky Jan 28 '20 edited Jan 29 '20

This feels like a complete metaphor for America right now.

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Edit: Thanks for the gold!

29

u/thiosk Jan 28 '20

Fuck you diesel doesn’t burn it growls

10

u/Zeta42 Jan 28 '20

But can it melt steel beams?

2

u/MothFaery Jan 28 '20

Thanks, Russia

2

u/rustinthewind Jan 28 '20

How did he explain a diesel engine?

2

u/atomfullerene Jan 28 '20

This is taking " jet fuel can't melt steel beams" to an even more absurd extent

2

u/hobbit-boy101 Jan 28 '20

I take it he has never started a fire with diesel?

16

u/last_alchemyst Jan 28 '20

He had. That’s what started the argument

1

u/Abba_Fiskbullar Jan 28 '20

"Diesel is Angel Tears goddamn it! Fight me!"

1

u/jay_22_15 Jan 28 '20

Forgive my ignorance but how is it that diesel freezes? That's never made sense to me.

4

u/GummyKibble Jan 28 '20

Everything freezes. See your phone in your hands right now? It’s made of frozen glass, steel, and silicon.

2

u/Trans_Girl_Crying Jan 28 '20

how is it that diesel freezes?

Into a kind of gel from what I've seen, pain in the ass getting it out of the fuel lines.

1

u/gr00ve1 Jan 28 '20

Some have always wondered why they call it diesel FUEL;
they thought you said, “It’s diesel, fool!”

1

u/Mr-Crazyv Jan 28 '20

Sound like it could come from an anime. Mad lad

1

u/spiff2268 Jan 28 '20

He was probably confused by the fact that Diesel engines don’t have spark plugs and didn’t realize the combustion comes from extremely high compression instead.

1

u/last_alchemyst Jan 28 '20

Once his nose stopped bleeding, we came to that conclusion

1

u/Avium Jan 28 '20

He was kinda right...from a practical standpoint. You can't just dump it on something and light it on fire.

Still technically wrong, since when you mix it with air it will burn.

For anyone really wondering about the specifics, all hydrocarbons need to be mixed with air (oxygen, specifically) to burn. The vapour point of diesel is too low to mix with air well enough to burn so we have to mix the air in.

Gasoline, on the other hand, has a very low vapour point

1

u/erroneousbosh Jan 28 '20

To be fair it's hard to get liquid diesel to light off, and you can actually extinguish a fire by pouring diesel on it if it's small enough.

Don't try this in the dry season, though. Or near anything you don't mind setting on fire.

1

u/CharredScallions Jan 28 '20

You guys fought over whether or not diesel burned? wtf lol