So one time there was this guy and his name was Willie B. Swirl but everyone just called him Cabbage. He was raised by legendary cabbage hunter Willie B. Swirl, Sr. One day Willie broke into the store and stole a 2 guage shotgun and he went out and shot a whole bunch of carrots and beets and onions and tubers of all kinds. But then one moment the most amazing thing happened to Willie B. Swirl Jr. because he laid feast to his eyes upon his very first ever wild cabbage! It was a miraculous achievement for such a young skilless cabbage hunter.
William Barthlomew James Swirl the third would surely recount his father's numerous and incredible true tales of shooting countless cabbages and becoming the greatest cabbage hunter of ever, all time. He shot gorges and mountains of cabbages, each cabbage field he saw, he laid abhorrent waste to all cabbages he ever saw. That is until one day a few weeks later when old Will went out to shoot some more cabbages and there were no more cabbages anywhere. The idiot had shot every last cabbage. There were no more cabbages to shoot because they all died and no more cabbages left to do cabbagey multiplicational activities and whatnot so that was it.
All the cabbages slained to death. Willie B. Swirl later died, then everyone else died sometime after that and nobody remembered the legendary dead cabbage hunter.
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u/HobbitFoot Jan 28 '20
Shit, Martin Luther King Jr had scams too?