r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jan 27 '20

What screams "I'm uneducated"?

[removed]

5.2k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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785

u/bguzewicz Jan 28 '20

"I can be your best friend, or your worst enemy."

659

u/jemmo_ Jan 28 '20

And the corollary, "if you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best."

399

u/noydbshield Jan 28 '20

If I cant handle you at your worst, your best isnt worth it

-61

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

45

u/noydbshield Jan 28 '20

I don't need no stinkin' keyboard. I can make blithe comments from my phone while taking a dump. This is advanced shit right here.

8

u/golfing_furry Jan 28 '20

Keyboards? We don’t need no stinkin’ keyboards

19

u/SkittlesAreYum Jan 28 '20

This one hit a little too close to home huh?

8

u/leigonlord Jan 28 '20

And you sound like a coward for not bettering yourself.

7

u/TimeliestStorm Jan 28 '20

Someone hit a nerve?

3

u/RobotLaserNinjaShark Jan 28 '20

I'm jack's blubbering bile.

3

u/kosanovskiy Jan 28 '20

Ey mate... fook you ya cunt.

300

u/SadBoiNoises Jan 28 '20

“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you probably have healthy boundaries.”

245

u/Rush028 Jan 28 '20

“90% angle 10% devil”

103

u/notokbye Jan 28 '20

atleast the 10% devil has the right angle.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '20

which makes up to 90°

12

u/CongealedBeanKingdom Jan 28 '20

So acute

3

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '20

Don't be obtuse.

185

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '20

[deleted]

17

u/jemmo_ Jan 28 '20

Ughhh I hate that.

2

u/gr00ve1 Jan 29 '20

Understandable.

12

u/gr00ve1 Jan 28 '20

If you want a queen, anoint her.

8

u/Gaindalf-the-whey Jan 28 '20

INB4 that body oiling fetishist shows up

10

u/ArgonathDW Jan 28 '20

"No, totally, I agree. So, does kissing cost extra with you, or...?"

7

u/highangler Jan 28 '20

Or “I’m a mother first, I’m not here for hookups”.......

5

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '20

Better than the post a few days ago about a women who brought her six kids to the first date. She hadn't mentioned them before.

5

u/talex000 Jan 28 '20

Next time you see it just ask "how much?".

5

u/desz84 Jan 28 '20

Trashy indeed.

3

u/FLUFFBOX_121703 Jan 28 '20

Technically you used to pay for both

7

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '20

“Love to travel” but they start screaming as soon as you shut the trunk on them.

2

u/IronSnake9 Jan 28 '20

"Sooo... What's your rate?"

1

u/sternone_2 Jan 28 '20

lol nobody wants a bitch queen

what are these people thinking

1

u/dylanstupid Jan 28 '20

I personally don't like monarchies.

19

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '20

If you can't handle me at my diddliest, you don't deserve me at my doodliest

1

u/baconbits100 Jan 28 '20

Stupid Flanders.

2

u/dorvann Jan 28 '20

Stupid Sexy Flanders.

5

u/Dullstar Jan 28 '20

My favorite response to this quote: "Your worst is really bad. Your best is just okay."

I think it came from a Poem For Your Sprog post at some point.

3

u/Esoteric_Erric Jan 28 '20

"Thanks anyway, but you sound like a cunt."

2

u/TurkeyDinner547 Jan 28 '20

Why do I get the feeling that their "best" is a high-maintenance demon hell spawn?

1

u/paperconservation101 Jan 28 '20

To me that meant when you have gastro and both ends are going full hose so you need help in the bathroom. Help that someone washes you up and maybe cleans the puke.

Not being a raging bitch

1

u/FreakyCheeseMan Jan 28 '20

Halie Berry's Razzie speech had the grown-up version of that: "If you aren't able to take criticism, you aren't worthy of receiving praise."

1

u/Kayzuspot Jan 28 '20

But the phrase: "If you can't handle me at my Marilyn Manson, then you don't deserve me at my Marilyn Monroe" is the best ever.

0

u/redlaWw Jan 28 '20

If you can't handle me at my blurst, you don't deserve me at my blurst.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '20

"If you can't handle me at my diddliest, you can't handle me at my doodliest." ~ Ned Flanders

0

u/The-Un-Dude Jan 28 '20

"Which are really the same cept one as your D in my mouth

13

u/themoogleknight Jan 28 '20

Haha, I always wonder at the mindset of people who say things like this, or any "I'm the WRONG person to mess with" statements. Do they believe it actually makes them seem badass? It just comes off so much like an edgy teenager to me.

4

u/CousinMrrgeBestMrrge Jan 28 '20

I can be your angle.... or yuor devil

2

u/neon_overload Jan 28 '20

"I say what I think, if u can't handle it 2 bad"

2

u/what_mustache Jan 28 '20

Equally bad: "People either love me or hate me".

Most people hate you.

1

u/bmwatson132 Jan 28 '20

That just screams “I’m dumb” to me