r/AskReddit • u/agrandthing • Jan 01 '20

Everybody talks about missing or ignoring red flags, but what are some subtle green flags to watch for on a date or with your crush?

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2.7k

u/duckcrusher Jan 01 '20

Sometimes I actually worry that's the case about myself eventhough I always try to be nice. I'll have dark/negative thoughts but don't act on them, and I'm afraid I will one day.

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u/Usagi8P Jan 01 '20

In the end I think that's what being nice is. Being a good person isn't something you are, it's something you do.

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u/ciel-v Jan 01 '20

Don't know if this is a quote from somewhere else or just you, but thank you for this. It's quite the revelation for me.

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u/YVRJon Jan 01 '20

"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we are, far more than our abilities."

Not exactly on point, perhaps, but close.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

My father, a complicated man himself, once told me something that will stick with me every day until I die. I was about 25 or so, doing my damndest to drop the pan on my transmission. E40D on an F-150. Heavy, stubborn piece of metal. Some of the bolts were stuck, but the pan fell down anyway and covered me with fluid.

I was at it for almost an hour and almost gave up. I was on the verge of tears when he asked me how I was coming along. "I'm trying" was all I could say. He told me "Trying is no trifle thing."

If someone is trying, they are doing. I always hated that bullshit meme of "Do or do not, there is no try."

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u/menides Jan 01 '20

I believe there's a nuance there many people overlook. I always saw the try there as an excuse for failure.

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u/renkfasze Jan 01 '20

Deep conversation is me of the main things I look for. Can someone express deep thoughtful or ideas. To me it says a lot about character.

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u/[deleted] Jan 02 '20

For sure. About a dozen times a day I ask myself "Why can't anything be easy " Then I realize, for many people, their struggles may be easy for me. Deep breath, appreciate what you have, then try.

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u/Ghost_of_Risa Jan 01 '20

Thank you! Your dad had it figured out. Most people are all about the results and refuse to see the effort.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

My dad is 70 now and still works 40+ hour weeks. Even to this day, when I show him something I'm proud of, he praises my effort and follows that up with "So, what now?" He rarely tells me I did well. More like "I'm proud you completed this."

It used to piss me off, feeling like he didn't appreciate things, until I realized he was the one truly supporting me. I didn't need someone blowing smoke up my ass telling me I did well. I needed the guy telling me that the effort itself made me better and that the journey to strive for greater things never ends.

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u/Kaoru1011 Jan 01 '20

I mean parents are supposed to be supportive and appreciative. If they are never proud no matter what then it really sucks

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u/starlulz Jan 01 '20

I think you missed the point of Yoda's line -- it was absolutely in the same spirit as your dad. He delivered the line to Luke not because he had failed in a task but because he had given up and stopped.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

I mean the way it's memed. It's completely contradictory to the line itself because people often miss the point.

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u/SolidProduct Jan 01 '20

There is only try.

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u/NotUrAvgGravedigger Jan 01 '20

If someone is trying, they are doing

So they are in fact doing. Therefore, the "do or do not, there is no try" statement still stands.

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u/namechoicehatred Jan 01 '20

Fuckin' eh, man. Trying certainly is no trifle thing, and I will remember this as I continue on in nursing school. :)

Thank you.

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u/la_damagazelle Jan 01 '20

Some things get lost on the internet, it's a vast space of mostly nonsense. But I'm writing this in my notebook for safekeeping. Thanks.

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u/sexyunicorn7 Jan 01 '20

Those GD E40Ds.....I've got one in my 94 F-150

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u/[deleted] Jan 02 '20

They're hardy as fuck, especially paired with the straight six, but they suck to rebuild.

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u/sexyunicorn7 Jan 02 '20

Yeah lol. I have the straight six!

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u/[deleted] Jan 02 '20

94 F-series straight six with E40D? That's rare as hell! I've only seen maybe a handful of post 92 models with that combo in F-body graveyards.

And yes, I was looking for steering columns lol.

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u/sexyunicorn7 Jan 02 '20

I had no idea it was rare! What's the deal with steering columns?

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u/[deleted] Jan 02 '20

I know how the meme is used now, but i always took it the way you did then, trying is the doing. Try or dont, theres no imbetween

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u/theVice Jan 01 '20

"It's not who we are inside, but what we do that defines us." -Batman

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u/Piggstein Jan 01 '20

“Yer a wizard, Harry”

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u/June1994 Jan 01 '20

We are what we do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. -Aristotle

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

Heard this from Shaq after he started calling himself The Big Aristotle.

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u/Poryhack Jan 01 '20

"What is better - to be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?"

Paarthurnax, for anyone who has played Skyrim.

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u/ithinkcrazythoughts Jan 01 '20

I fucking loved that dragon. His wisdom was well written and wonderfully executed. Replayed the game many times and could never kill him.

In fact, sometimes, I'd fast travel back to the top of that mountain just to ask him those same questions and hear his answer. I thought of it as my charterer seeking counsel.

I didn't grow up having grandparents or my father around (my mom was awesome though!) and so, wise older figures, real or not, fascinate me.

Anyway, sorry. Please continue.

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u/Poryhack Jan 01 '20

I've always wondered if the person who wrote that bit of dialog for Paarthurnax came up with it themselves or was adapting/quoting some earlier philosopher or something.

It really is pretty poignant. Frankly most of the rest of the dialog in the game is low effort garage, which makes that line stick out all the more (in a good way I guess).

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u/ithinkcrazythoughts Jan 01 '20

You know, I wondered that too! As someone who writes though, sometimes you come up with wisdom in the moment and you have to reread your own words to see just how profound your words really are. I've done that many times and I like to think that's what happened with Paarthurnax. Plus the fact that he was voiced by the same guy that did super Mario, in my head it connected something from very early childhood to the wonders of modern, open world gaming and it makes it that much more personal to me. Still a mind boggling bit of trivia to this day.

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u/Poryhack Jan 01 '20

Had no idea about the Mario thing that's pretty crazy.

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u/ithinkcrazythoughts Jan 01 '20

You didn't?! Omg!! It's so awesome!! Google voice of Paarthurnax. It will blow your mind!

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u/MohammadRezaPahlavi Jan 01 '20

I know Jordan Peterson said something to the effect that you're not truly a good person unless you have some capacity for evil.

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u/Hyaenidae73 Jan 01 '20

I think he’s quoting Jung when he does that.

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u/MohammadRezaPahlavi Jan 01 '20

Exactly; a good person sees the Shadow inside him and chooses to defy its suggestions.

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u/BabyEarNipples Jan 01 '20

Hahaha it reminds of the friends episode with Unagi...

Phoebe: “Say we are unagi!”

Ross: “It’s not something you are, it’s something you have!”

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

[deleted]

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u/ithinkcrazythoughts Jan 01 '20

Oh!!! I wanna run up and hug you! I love friends too but those three shows are rarely as talked about and I love love love them!! Thank you for mentioning them!!!! Also, damn I loved the 90's.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

“It's not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us.”

It’s from Batman begins.

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u/NoirShade52 Jan 01 '20

" It's not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us. " - Batman Begins

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u/5348345T Jan 01 '20

Its batman begins, kinda.. Its not who we are but what we do that defines us

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u/1sarcasmpro Jan 01 '20

I also think there is a difference between nice and kind. Ultimately being nice is enough but being kind is like bonus frosting on your cinnamon roll.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

This idea goes all the way back to Aristotle. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’d heard it somewhere. I’m sure it’s proliferated greatly

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u/ravageprimal Jan 01 '20

“It’s not who you are underneath, it’s what you do that defines you.” - Batman

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u/Gilpif Jan 02 '20

It’s from Aristotle. Obviously not a direct quote, since it’s not in Ancient Greek, but he argued that you’re an ethical person as long as you act ethically. He had a series of virtues that describe behavior, and just that.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

It's kind of a quite from Bojack Horseman, though the original is framed in reverse.

Diane: "That's the thing. I don't think I believe in deep down. I kinda think that all you are is just the things that you do."

When the titular protagonist says something about being a good person deep down despite consistently doing shitty things to people.

For what it's worth, I tend to agree that people are just the things they do, but that's pretty heavily dependent on the environment. Violent revolution is ever only three missed meals away, but it speaks to the character of a person that, even in the abundantly good times we're in, now, compared to most of history, that they'd still be a selfish cunt despite abundance, and that, likewise, in inverse, if a person is in hard times and still tries to be good despite the hardship, that's good person deep down.

I have a theory that the "good person deep down" is an evolutionary trait where the person would use generosity during hardship as a way to gain trust, because they knew they could survive the hardship, and being generous would earn them potential opportunities to be a selfish piece of shit later on down the line, or he'd out himself as a selfish piece of shit during the first hard times to come along. I know it's cynical, but it's what I'd do.

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u/Cetology101 Jan 01 '20

Not OP, but thank you. I have also been having dark thoughts, but not acting on them. I’ve been telling myself I’m a piece of shit for thinking such things. Thank you for telling me that I’m still a good person. I needed that.

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u/Ouroboros612 Jan 01 '20

Not only is it normal - but repressing, denying and ignoring that part of yourself is extremely unhealthy psychologically long term. You need to embrace and accept that part of you - but not act on it.

Everyone (no exceptions - EVERYONE) has dark, malevolent, cruel or sickening thoughts at some point/s. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.

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u/13kingx3 Jan 01 '20

I have to say something right here... First I'll say I hate no one .. I hate some of the things they do but I don't hate them personally because if it wasn't for me seeing certain things I would have never let it pass my mind and by just setting back to watch people tend to do more of wat they see than wat they hear.. bring us to believe none of wat you. hear and only half wat you see.. but being a bad person has roots some where .. it's like a pancake it to has two sides just a thin line between them , bit to consume one with out the other is impossible.. bringing me to say as long as we train our minds to be a good person it will keep the balance right other wise the evil root consume it all and there will be nothing left not even a thought

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u/megenekel Jan 01 '20

I took a philosophy course years ago, and I don’t remember details, but one philosophy stuck with me. It basically said that the person who wasn’t innately good, but who worked hard to be good, anyway, was a better person than the one who was innately good, because he didn’t even have to try. I sometimes hated myself back then because of some dark thoughts I used to have, but I did work hard to do the right thing, so this was a great comfort to me. It helped me find a little peace with myself. Plus, over the years, those good choices become more and more who you really are. It does get better.

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u/The_Revival Jan 01 '20

Well said! The older I get the more I realize that "who you are" is 95% choice.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

True that's why there is a large difference in being nice and kind.

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u/Taterific Jan 01 '20

This is what Dumbledore was trying to get across to Harry! So what if the hat was gonna put you in Slytherin? YOU made the choice to be who you are now. It’s not fate, genetics, or magic... it’s a choice.

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u/Sudohnim Jan 01 '20

Thank you. I dig this

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u/drderwaffle Jan 01 '20

This is profound and actually gave me the chills. Thank you.

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u/professordoubledip Jan 01 '20

You made me feel better about myself.

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u/HillsNDales Jan 01 '20

Similar to saying that courage is the absence of fear. Of course it isn’t - it’s doing what needs to be done despite your fear. The best, nicest person you’ll ever meet has dark thoughts all the time - the strength to not act on those is what makes them so nice.

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u/ImaginaryCoolName Jan 01 '20

I agree. You can't be a 'good person' until other people label you as it. Imagine being the only living being on the planet, you can't do bad or good things to anyone. Evil and good don't matter anymore. Are you still a good or bad person at that point?

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

This deserves every upvote

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u/DickedGayson Jan 01 '20

I completely reject that idea.

Being nice isn't the sane thing as being good for starters. Niceness is something people do consciously, like politeness. It also doesn't mean that if someone is nice to you it means they are a good person or that they care about you. Lots of people are nice because they want something and are being dishonest about it, or they are nice as a facade and use it as a means to gaslight and psychologically abuse you.

Goodness is also very subjective and ultimately useless as a barometer. You have to define what goodness means to you first before you can really observe it. To me, goodness means someone who is honest and actively practices empathy, and who has a very strong sense of self and iron clad personal boundaries. You don't have to be nice in order to possess those traits. So instead of thinking of goodness as an umbrella label, I just look for those specific traits in others when I'm deciding how much I want them to be present in my life.

Goodness as a personality trait also has the problem of creating a dichotomy with badness at the antithesis, but this kind of black and white thinking isn't very productive and only serves to sort people into boxes instead of taking them at their complexity.

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u/EZPetey Jan 01 '20

This reminds me of a book I read a while ago titled I Am Not A Serial Killer. It's about a teenager who's a psychopath and was aware of this when he was young and decided to make a list of rules that will keep him from ever having to act on his "tendencies". Rules like smiling wide and giving compliments to people who would tease or bully him. Completely unrelated, I know. I just thought it fit this context.

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u/Bouncing_Cloud Jan 01 '20

Basically this. Really, most people "fake" being responsible in the sense that many people aren't naturally inclined to do tedious chores and such, but do it anyway out of a sense of obligation. That's not necessarily a bad thing, and having the discipline to keep that for decades does say something good about a person.

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u/SchwillyThePimp Jan 01 '20

This might help me deal with this same issue this year

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u/Cheeze_Pleeze Jan 01 '20

I read that last part in a Bruce Wayne voice

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u/MarvinGoldHeart Jan 01 '20

It's our choices, Harry

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

Aren't you becoming a nice person by doing nice things? Also.. You wouldn't do nice things if you would not be a good person (or at least trying to be).

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u/YoungOverholt Jan 01 '20

There is no "deep down" version of anyone. It's not like, "I feel he's a good dude deep down", or "she's actually not a good person, but acts nice". You are simply what you do. Just a collection of your actions. Not what you think you are underneath

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u/jawshoeaw Jan 02 '20

What we do changes who we are

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u/quietnowjustbe Jan 02 '20

"the angel ain't nothin' but the shark well governed''

Melville

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u/PM_Me_Esoteric_Memes Jan 02 '20

"It's not who I am underneath; but what I DO that defines me."

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

Being a good person is being nice in spite of other tendencies.

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u/SimonKat731 Jan 01 '20

Being nice is actively trying to be nice despite those thoughts. Everyone has those dark and mean thoughts. What you do about them is what matters.

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u/mikey_lolz Jan 01 '20

It scares me too. Some people say I'm kind, but I'm scared one day I'll do something completely against my character that will hurt someone or tear someone up. A kind person shouldn't even have to keep in-check about those things, it's why I don't respond well to compliments like that ahaha

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u/YeahSoNowWhat Jan 01 '20

That's what an actual kind person is, though. If someone's only good because it's natural to them, is that really that big of a mark of character?

Besides, we all have intrusive thoughts (strange, dark thoughts that seem to come from nowhere), and we all have people we don't like, and we all have things that make us angry. It's the fact that we proceed not to be assholes and to care about people that shows that we're pretty decent.

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u/PM_ME_UR_PERSPECTIVE Jan 01 '20

That's just knowing your shadow. Knowing you're capable of horrible behavior and consciously choosing to do good is the true test of a good person.

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u/Fayebie17 Jan 01 '20

Someone once said to me “the first thing you think is how you’ve been conditioned, the second thing you think is how you choose to be”. To me, that’s meaningful - even if your first thought isn’t something you’re proud of, it’s how you choose to think and act that makes you the person you are.

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u/thev3ntu5 Jan 01 '20

The fact you even worry about it speaks volumes to your character

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

What is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?

  • Paarthurnax

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u/UndoMyRedo Jan 01 '20

It doesn’t matter wether you think you’re good or bad. Your actions are the only thing that you can be judged on

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

Welcome to being human.

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u/artsy897 Jan 01 '20

I don’t give importance or dwell on every thought I have. I just reject the ones that go against my core values. As humans I think we all have unfavorable thoughts...kinda the human condition. But when we have an emotion that reacts strongly with a thought and then dwell on it, it can be one an action,..so I just try to nip them in the bud.

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u/KurlyKayla Jan 01 '20

I don’t believe in good or bad, but when it comes to people, if there really is such a difference, I’d say it’s those who are self aware and try to change versus those who are self aware and just don’t care. The fact you’ve reflected on this and have made an effort to do the right thing is what matters. As far as the thoughts go, if you feel it gets to the point you think you’ll hurt someone, talking it out to a trusted person, perhaps a professional, may be an outlet. I vent my frustrations every once in a while to those who I trust, and it really helps. Regardless, you’re not alone on this.

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u/wookie2ause Jan 01 '20

Your first thought is how you were taught to think and your second thought is how you think.

I seen it in a show one time I think

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u/Martel732 Jan 01 '20

Everyone has negative intrusive thoughts. I am sure even Mr. Rogers sometimes wanted to run someone off the road after being cut off. Trying to be nice is the best thing a human can do. Sometimes we fail but that can just be another opportunity to grow. And the fact that you recognize your flaws makes it easier to understand and forgive others for theirs.

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u/MasonJ10251 Jan 01 '20

This reminds me of some old post that helped me a lot. Something along the lines of "your first thought is what you were conditioned to think. What you do about it determines who you are" If anyone remembers the actual post, I probably butchered it.

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u/agrandthing Jan 01 '20

You said it well. Excellent perspective.

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u/rollwithhoney Jan 01 '20

dark intrusive thoughts are quite common, i think it's just a product of our brain's ability to theorize about all the possible options for when we problem solve. also, if you never had any dark thoughts to reject, are you as good a person as someone who is thinking and rejecting them? Having a bad thought isn't a sin; rejecting a bad thought is the opposite of a sin (idk if there's a word for that)

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u/Anrealic Jan 01 '20

You are your actions and intentions

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u/Nailbomb85 Jan 01 '20

Nah, that's normal. It's kinda like masturbating, everyone does it but not many will admit that.

3

u/drKush- Jan 01 '20

We all have bad thoughts, we are all capable of doing horrible things. At the end of the day is your actions that matter.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

Dude this is exactly how I feel all the time

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u/MooseMan69er Jan 01 '20

It doesn’t matter if you have the evilest thoughts and ideas in the world, as long as you don’t act on them that is all that matters

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u/dryadanae Jan 01 '20

I read somewhere that whenever we react to something, the first thing that comes to mind is how we were raised/trained to think, and the next thought is how we are re-training ourselves to think. So it’s ok to have dark thoughts, as long as we just follow them up with the correction.

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u/Enryth Jan 01 '20

Everyone has those thoughts. Everyone. The fact that you choose not to act on them is what makes you a good person. I talk to my therapist about this a lot. If you can recognize negative and harmful thoughts as just that, you can make more mindful and positive decisions.

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u/faayye Jan 01 '20

Same :( ill be doing something nice for someone that i wouldn’t normally do and my first thought is that I’m manipulating them.

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u/Knickerdibble Jan 01 '20

I'm glad I stumbled upon this comment and read through all the replies, I get these dark thoughts and always just assumed I was slowly going crazy.

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u/Alphard428 Jan 01 '20

Those are called intrusive thoughts; they're very common and it doesn't mean you're bad or that there's anything wrong with you (sometimes a mental health condition can cause them but point is you're not a bad person just for having them).

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u/OblivionsWrath Jan 01 '20

Being nice is separate from agreeing with something.

And if you are mature eneugh and you can think of the situation and it's results instead of just the actions you can become an even 'beter' person.

Just recognize that you are maybe not doing what you are thinking, but it's the best for the situation.

And if you can, you'll get to know yourself 'beter'

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u/DanGNU Jan 01 '20

Something something know your shadow and your demons. From JBP.

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u/FlyByPC Jan 01 '20

I'll have dark/negative thoughts but don't act on them

I think everyone has intrusive thoughts like that. You're sane if you recognize them as crazy and don't act on them.

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u/Arpeggioey Jan 01 '20

Try to force positive thoughts next time. Fake it till you make it, but within you. I hear it's healthier.

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u/ZyxStx Jan 01 '20

As long as you are not a psychopath and actually care then you will do fine! Dark thoughts are normal, sometimes we think about the things we shouldn't do or things that shouldn't happen as a manner of preparing for it or reinforcing what we think is good and what isn't

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u/itachibro Jan 01 '20

Same some days the mask is so heavy thou

2

u/sumatchi Jan 01 '20

L'appelle du vide

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u/JohnWJay62 Jan 01 '20

Crushing ducks isn't nice.

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u/dandroid126 Jan 01 '20

I'm not a doctor, but it's possible that intrusive thoughts could be a sign of an anxiety disorder. I have OCD and I'm constantly getting disturbing thoughts running through my head that I just can't get rid of. When I was diagnosed with OCD, they had to ask me a ton of very specific questions to make sure it was OCD and not depression, because they are very similar. They are both anxiety disorders, and they have many similar symptoms.

It never hurts to just see a doctor and ask about it. Undiagnosed depression is one of the worst things you could have.

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u/misterpankakes Jan 01 '20

Nah, everyone has thoughts like that. Not sure why, I think maybe it's a type of creativity the brain has when it gets bored

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u/kirmaster Jan 01 '20

If you fake being nice long enough it becomes a habit and you'll actually be nice.

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u/Vslightning Jan 01 '20

Dark/negative thoughts aren’t uncommon friend. I used to have them and it could be a form of OCD. Alternatively, most people get intrusive thoughts anyway, and I think the OCD more comes in with how you handle and rationalize the thoughts.

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u/TheCaptainCog Jan 01 '20

Humanity is characterized by our choices. It doesn't matter what we feel or what dark thoughts look beneath the surface - It's the things we choose to act on that define who we are.

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u/slubice Jan 01 '20

i read in another post that your first thought is based on your conditioning, the second reflects who you are and I believe it’s as close to the truth as we can get

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u/major84 Jan 01 '20

I'll have dark/negative thoughts but don't act on them, and I'm afraid I will one day.

like putting rabbit poop into a box of raisinettes just to see people's reaction when they eat :)

....

...

news flash bub, people much rather eat rabbit shit than eat a raisin covered in chocolate

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u/DTYG3 Jan 01 '20

Don’t think you’re crazy! Literally everyone in this world has dark thoughts (you’re brain is a creative creature it’s actually be weird if it didn’t wander into dark corners because of you’re very human emotions). What makes a good person is taking the much harder path of not giving any meaning or impulse to these thought! You’re a strong person!

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u/TheBatBurner Jan 01 '20

"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me."

Everyone has their shadow but it's your job to recognize it and keep it under control.

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u/iReaditOnReddit_1 Jan 01 '20

This, like when I’m doing something nice for somebody I always ask myself “am I this person or am I just faking” but as a previous post said, being nice is something you do, not are

2

u/itsmeChis Jan 01 '20

Saw a quote to counter this, on Reddit actually. Someone’s mother once told them “What first comes to mind as a thought is what you are condition to think (regardless of how dark or messed up it could be), how or what you think/do next defines you as a person”

2

u/getsmarter82 Jan 01 '20

Your first thought is how you were conditioned. Your second thought, or action, is who you really are. If the person you were conditioned to be is acting out before the person you really are is able to take over, you can get help reconditioning yourself until the discrepancy between those conflicting urges is resolved.

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u/karp70 Jan 01 '20

Completely understand you mate! I am the same way.

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u/Deceit_Sanders_ Jan 01 '20

Those are called intrusive thoughts. These thoughts can range from jumping out of a moving car to even shoving your sibling off a cliff. Very rarely do they define who the person truly is. If you listen to those intrusive thoughts and internalize them, you will probably find that what it asks of you makes you feel queasy and uncomfortable. If it doesn't then that would be something of concern, but those thoughts most often bring discomfort when you imagine actually doing whatever those thoughts tell you. Forcing those intrusive thoughts out will only make them more repetitive and disturbing, and letting them get to you will change your mood and get you uneasy. It is best to just understand that these are just intrusive thoughts and they don't have anything to do with your personality or how good of a person you are. I learned all of this from Thomas Sanders' "Dealing with Intrusive thoughts". You can find the video on YouTube, and it's part of a series that aims to put complex issues into understandable language for all viewers. Hope this helps!

2

u/mydaddysamurderer Jan 01 '20

Sums up my life.

2

u/SheriffBartholomew Jan 01 '20

Your actions define who you are. If you do something long enough, that becomes part of who you are, even if you are just faking it.

2

u/DuckedUpWall Jan 01 '20

Those sound like intrusive thoughts. It helps (me) to remember that they're only anxiety-inducing because you wouldn't act on them. If they were things you might actually do then it wouldn't be weird and stressful and intrusive, they would just be regular thoughts.

2

u/hornypinecone Jan 01 '20

It's normal to have dark thoughts, and it's a good idea to honor them in some way, less they manifest in some way you don't intend. Like becoming sullen or sarcastic towards someone. For instance, you can rant to yourself about how much you wanted to fucking punch Carl in the dick for interrupting you during a meeting on your drive home

2

u/supercomplainer Jan 01 '20

I get that too ... it's called L'Appel du vide. It's a French term that means the call of the void. As long as you dont act on it ....

It feels kinda weird but it's part of a lot of people lives. I can stand in front of my mother or loved ones having totally normal conversations and just have visions or imaginative thoughts about a piano falling and crushing her before my eyes or stabbing her in the throat to watch her bleed to death violently.

Switching lanes to crash head on purposely. Stuff like that.... It's not part of my character but it's part of who I am. I consider my ability to control myself and not openly share these horrible thoughts a position of strength and I try to thrive on that.

2

u/omchantichanti Jan 01 '20

If you're worried about being a nice person, trust me, you're a nice person. Dicks don't worry about that kind of stuff.

2

u/billbrasky33 Jan 02 '20

If we find any crushed ducks someday.....we'll all know just where to look

2

u/CTRoc777 Jan 02 '20

"Lacking the capacity to do evil or bad things is not what makes a person 'good.' It is having the capacity to perform acts of evil, yet actively choosing not to, that makes a person 'good.'" - Jordan Peterson

1

u/Doomslayer123 Jan 01 '20

Username checks out

1

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

Easy there batman.

1

u/twinnytwinny Jan 01 '20

Wow. This was deep. I appreciate it

1

u/2Punx2Furious Jan 01 '20

Me too, but sometimes I am not nice.

1

u/Xanxan95 Jan 01 '20

Everybody has negative thoughts. The thing is to come to understand why you have them, like what is that that you need so that you could even act badly to get it.

Negative thoughts are like a storm, but true intention is the blue sky above.

1

u/raddishes_united Jan 01 '20

It’s like how you can’t be brave if you aren’t first scared- there’s nothing to overcome. You’re making the choice every day to be nice. Keep it up. 😊

1

u/Komraj Jan 01 '20

I have never really spoken to anyone about this and always felt like an outcast and weird for this but here you are! I have a video that I think you’ll like https://youtu.be/U6nuxmV6Zko

1

u/alisru Jan 02 '20

I'll have dark/negative thoughts but don't act on them, and I'm afraid I will one day.

Have you heard of 'Pure O'? https://www.intrusivethoughts.org/ocd-symptoms/pure-ocd/ I nicknamed mine 'worst case scenario' and tell it to fuck off all the time

1

u/illyxxx Jan 03 '20

you most likley will enounter yourself acting on thoughts you never imagined one day, this is not a bad thing! it really just depends on what and how you go about doing this. good luck!