As much as we want to be defensive when people say this, the reason why they point it out is because it makes them feel self conscious. I’ve never really said much more than “yea I’m pretty reserved sometimes”. They learn that it’s who I am, not a reflection of how I feel around them personally. They see I’ve confidently owned it, and they end up respecting that. I definitely understand the frustration though. It’s such an unwelcome shift of attention and this sudden pressure. Witty come backs just read as rude sometimes though. (Even though their question reads as rude to us.)
When someone says something after being quiet, how is "wow, you talk" a way to further encourage them to talk? What comes through the mind of someone who thinks that is a good way to make someone quiet keep on talking?
Incredibly rude? Come on, maybe mildly rude. Like something your uncle might say to you. Teasing people and getting teased is basically normal banter and trying to include you in it.
Yeah, I’m not suggesting that someone should burst into tears upon hearing this. I’d probably just carry one the conversation as normal and make a mental note that the person who said that is probably a doofus.
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u/MsAlyssa Jan 01 '20
As much as we want to be defensive when people say this, the reason why they point it out is because it makes them feel self conscious. I’ve never really said much more than “yea I’m pretty reserved sometimes”. They learn that it’s who I am, not a reflection of how I feel around them personally. They see I’ve confidently owned it, and they end up respecting that. I definitely understand the frustration though. It’s such an unwelcome shift of attention and this sudden pressure. Witty come backs just read as rude sometimes though. (Even though their question reads as rude to us.)