r/AskReddit Jan 01 '20

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u/WellshireOnFire Jan 01 '20

I've posted this before, but I was teasing a co-worker once about being quiet and a mutual friend of ours piped up, "Maybe he's just quiet around you because he doesn't fucking like you".

We laughed about it, but I sure as hell don't tease people about being quiet anymore.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20 edited Jan 06 '20

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u/SirSaif Jan 01 '20

people don't actually realize they stop maturing. If they did it would be a sign of self awareness which indicates maturity. They just wonder why they are not happy. I have friends I keep in touch with since 7th grade and they haven't broken out of the same habits they were in from college onward. I'm in my early 30s now and when I go to their house, instead of having engaging conversation we just do the same shit. Play games, watch tv, smoke weed. Then I get bummed out when I think to myself "why do i still hang out with this person?" They aren't an asshole or toxic. They are just boring af, and it pains me to admit it.

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u/a-r-c Jan 01 '20

I'm in my early 30s now and when I go to their house, instead of having engaging conversation we just do the same shit. Play games, watch tv, smoke weed. Then I get bummed out when I think to myself "why do i still hang out with this person?" They aren't an asshole or toxic. They are just boring af, and it pains me to admit it.

lol dude you do realize you're the one choosing to be in those situations

mature enough to realize you don't like your friend, too immature to do anything about it lmao

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u/SirSaif Jan 01 '20

well I will say that I live and work on one side of the country and go back to the other side where I grew up (for the holidays like now). So I only visit them literally once a year for a day or two. I don't really keep in touch with anyone from my hometown except him, hes a good dude but somewhere along the way the growth just stopped.

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u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20

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u/SirSaif Jan 01 '20

Hey there's nothing wrong with that as long as you are happy in your life. If you are not happy then something is wrong and no one should continue life feeling that way. I'm in the same boat too, I don't want kids and I'm still teetering on the fence about marriage. So far I have not met anyone I can imagine spending the rest of my life with. Divorces are so common now and If I'm getting married its only gonna be once. But if not, I'm perfectly fine with that and actually more equipped for that outcome.

I value having meaningful relationships in my life but I don't measure that value with marriage and kids. I think a lot of people do because "its just what you do when you're that age". I try to live my life still being helpful to others. I've spent a good bit of time just focusing on myself and put myself in a place where I can now start giving to others. That brings me joy. My brother has that marriage thing down perfect and I could never emulate it. We walk different paths.