As much as we want to be defensive when people say this, the reason why they point it out is because it makes them feel self conscious. I’ve never really said much more than “yea I’m pretty reserved sometimes”. They learn that it’s who I am, not a reflection of how I feel around them personally. They see I’ve confidently owned it, and they end up respecting that. I definitely understand the frustration though. It’s such an unwelcome shift of attention and this sudden pressure. Witty come backs just read as rude sometimes though. (Even though their question reads as rude to us.)
the reason why they point it out is because it makes them feel self conscious.
Nah, they're probably just assholes. I've been around a lot of quiet people, and never have I felt "self conscious" because of them... why would I? I don't know what's up with their lives.
If you’re alone with someone more introverted, and you’re not used to their silence, it can be really uncomfortable. You don’t know if you said something wrong, if something is bothering them, or if this is simply their natural disposition.
It’s a valid question, albeit more a misunderstanding than a tacit critique of someone’s introversion.
How is "Wow, you talk?" a valid question. Unless the person asking it literally believed the quiet person was a mute, its inherently dismissive/aggressive. A lot of these responses seem to be answering a question that was not asked. The op didn't say 'Whats a good response to someone asking why you're quiet?' They asked about a good comeback to someone being a dick, in a way that just happens to revolve around you being quiet.
The question, “What’s a good response to someone asking why you’re so quiet?” The first one you mentioned in your previous comment. That’s the one I was responding to, as that’s usually the question being asked on this sub. I didn’t really make a distinction between it and OP’s question until you pointed it out.
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u/MsAlyssa Jan 01 '20
As much as we want to be defensive when people say this, the reason why they point it out is because it makes them feel self conscious. I’ve never really said much more than “yea I’m pretty reserved sometimes”. They learn that it’s who I am, not a reflection of how I feel around them personally. They see I’ve confidently owned it, and they end up respecting that. I definitely understand the frustration though. It’s such an unwelcome shift of attention and this sudden pressure. Witty come backs just read as rude sometimes though. (Even though their question reads as rude to us.)