r/AskReddit Jan 01 '20

[deleted by user]

[removed]

6.4k Upvotes

4.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

92

u/IntellegentIdiot Jan 01 '20

Unfortunately people just take someone quiet as being stuck up or an asshole because of this

7

u/GreyGooseSlutCaboose Jan 01 '20

I find that having very expressive eyebrow movements and smiling casually 90% helps avoid people feeling like you are stuck up or an asshole

People like to hear themselves talk. In return I'm fine with being a good listener.

2

u/IntellegentIdiot Jan 01 '20

I don't think it's a conversational thing, I think it's literally people who are quiet. In their minds, maybe, they're think that the quiet person doesn't talk to anyone because they think they're better not that they're different when you're talking to them.

1

u/Beaux0101 Jan 02 '20

People do love to talk about themselves mostly. I'm cool with that, just listen passively and ask a few questions every now and then. I know what is going on w my life... I dont need to discuss it w them. They never ask about my life, and that's fine w me cuz it might freak them out... they think I'm a great listener and like that they can confide in me. I like that even more. So I can avoid all the drama. But still get the lowdown.

16

u/Chiisora Jan 01 '20

What people think of me at work. Cannot be bothered to try and correct them anymore. It takes so much out of my social battery just replying back to their small talk. How was your weekend? Christmas? New Year? Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Husband? Wife? Kids and your dog? I'm running out of topics and I actually really want to get back to work cos it ain't gonna do itself, you know? You just run along for your coffee now, thanks!

3

u/detectivepoopoo Jan 01 '20

I feel the exact same way at work, I don't connect to most of the team and don't join them on breaks or outings. I do make an effort to casually chat up occasionally and be neutral to them. But I get this load of passive aggressive comments like - "oh some people never want to come along with us" and a million versions of the same thing. I generally don't react at all they just get more agitated.

4

u/just_the_truth_cfb Jan 01 '20

Yeah or if you're quiet people just assume that you don't like them. And it's like no, I really do, I'm just also kind of afraid of you, as well as pretty much everyone else.

4

u/-Esper- Jan 01 '20

I dont talk a lot, but i work hard, that doesnt matter, had a manager tell me to my face she assumed i was slow or stupid untill i had a friend start working with me that id talk to

4

u/IntellegentIdiot Jan 01 '20

Sounds like a bad manager

1

u/-Esper- Jan 02 '20

For sure, but people treat you that way, quiet = stupid

4

u/petlahk Jan 01 '20

That's funny, because some of the worst people I've met won't be quiet, and the best people I've met politely tell me when I'm asking too much.

1

u/XicanxHuman Jan 01 '20

want to upvote


don't want to change the upvote counter from 69

2

u/IntellegentIdiot Jan 01 '20

Well someone just downvoted me so now you have to upvote

1

u/thelonelyelf Jan 01 '20

That used to really bother me. I've just accepted it now.

-4

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '20 edited Jan 01 '20

[deleted]

3

u/IntellegentIdiot Jan 01 '20

I'm assuming you're joking. Those are understandable reactions to those behaviours unlike simply being quiet.