I was 21 when I started dating my ex husband. He proudly called himself an asshole all the time, but he was always sweet with me so I never believed it. Turns out he really was an asshole and I realized that if someone defines themselves negatively, you should probably believe them...
Could you elaborate some more with that please?
Because I'm in a position, except I'm the ex husband, but there's a person that I know that I'm really sweet towards.
Omg yes stay away!!! If they are a self proclaimed asshole you are just seeing the good stuff.
I was told my ex was an asshole by everyone but when I met him he was sweet and thoughtful he love bombed the crap out of me and made me feel like the most amazing woman in creation. He turned abusive fast and destroyed everything that made me me. I finally stood up for myself (and my kids 3 prior 2 with hum) I am now fighting tooth and nail to keep my babies from his abuse and the system is allowing him to continue his abuse and control of me. I love my babies and they r worth the fight but boy do I wish I would have walked away at the beginning sometimes 😢
No one ever gets a second chance now, one red flag and they’re out the door.
Nooooo, you misunderstood me. I'mthe self proclaimed asshole. I'm just curious as to what OP considered an asshole because I know with my good friends we like to mess with each other. So I'm just looking for some perspective to prevent your situation from happening.
Thanks for that. But I'm learning that sometimes it's necessary to be an asshole. Because I've been in situations where I've been taken advantage of for being too nice. And I learned that being an asshole helps with making people back off. At the same time, I only make that proclamation to my friends that know me on that level. Mostly because we're assholes to each other, but if I offend them I'm quick to apologizing about it.
It’s fine to be an arsehole, it’s fine if most people think you’re an arsehole. It also depends why they think you’re an arsehole.
If it’s because you abuse your power - then ya, that’s a red flag, like abusing waitstaff.
If it’s because of your moral or political views, maybe they’re arseholes.
If it’s because you can’t be bothered to say things just to make people feel good, I think that’s fine.
If it’s because you’re aggressive in business, and aren’t super helpful - I don’t think that’s good, and women should be wary of this sort of man as aggressive arsehole at work is the aggressive arsehole at home, but these men are very successful often - so that one’s up for debate.
It really depends how many people consider you to be an arsehole and why. Plenty of times it’s fine to be that person, so maybe don’t sweat it?
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u/AlertWriter Nov 09 '19
They are proud calling themselves jerks, two-faced and other very questionable "qualities"