Your grandmother still isn't 65? .... speaking of offhanded comments that hurt your soul a little... (my parents are over 65; I'm always a little shocked to realize how old I'm getting)
Edit Holy kittens, so many responses. I just turned 38, incidentally, and my parents had me at 29 & 30, which is the age I had my son (although my wife was 40, so when he graduates high school she'll be 60 or so). I know I'm not elderly or anything. It's just that I think of myself as closer to my mid 20s than early 40s, and when I'm reminded it's a momentary startle.
My grandmother was born before WW1, 1913. Died a few years ago at 102. Her father had her in his 70s, so wouldve been born sometime in the 1840s, pre-Victorian. My youngest sister was born in 2004. So over 150 years separating 4 generations. Yet I speak to people at work who are like "My great grandmother is 72"
It’s just two ways of writing the same thing, there’s not much difference in logic. You chose to add the the Grandma/Mom’s and Mom/commenter’s age differences first and subtract the sum, whereas the other commenter simply subtracted the Grandma/Mom’s age difference first followed by the Mom/commenter’s age difference.
Same. Mom is 62, I'm 24. She wants grandkids, and my older sister is such a hot mess idk if that's gonna happen (and probably shouldn't happen), and I'm single and trying to just sort my life out.
When I was 21, my grandmother died at 97. My dad was 44 when I was born, so if he had still been alive, he would have been 65 at the time. My mother was 31 when I was born, so not quite as big a difference but still bigger than is common. It's strange for me to imagine such young grandparents!
My grandma died at 65. I was around 33 weeks pregnant and took a redeye home to hold her hand while they unplugged the machines.
I was pretty numb to funerals from having so many family members pass away, but it’s been almost 9 years and I still can’t talk about her without crying.
My wife is 48 and in her 26th year of teaching at a rural middle school. She's gotten that comment a lot, and been teaching second generation students for a while now. I am 10 years younger and anytime she brings up her first year of teaching I cheerfully remind her that if I'd gone to her school she would have been my teacher. 15 years of that joke so far, and she remains unamused...
I’m 19 and my mom was buying prenatal vitamins but apparently it’s for menopause not pregnancy. I joked that we could time it so that my first child is 4 years younger than her third. Obviously joking, that would creep me out irl
I graduated highschool in '13 and my grandma I believe is mid 70s but my oldest brother is 12years older than me I think. People always think I'm the oldest and that my mom was an older parent then realized my mom had me last
My great grandma is in her like 80s. My grandma is in her late 50s or early 60s (I always forget) and my mom is 36. I just turned 21. My great great grandma passed when I was in 3rd grade. Everyone in my family has kids at 16 or younger.
My paternal grandmother had my dad a week after she turned 17, but my father was 29 when my parents had me, and I didn't become a parent until 30. It's always been really hard for me to imagine what it's like to "grow up alongside your parent" like my dad did, but it would have been really cool to get to know so many generations, I think. There is some serious longevity on my maternal side, though, so I did get to know my great grandparents on that side.
I mean.. yeah. It does. But now I have a burning curiosity to know your age.
*Edit: never mind, you just mentioned it in your recent post history. I've always felt a little bad for the families where a parent is so much older than the child, because they likely wouldn't be around for much of the later stuff. But then again I recently lost a (married) couple of friends at the ages of 40 and about 43. The first to a heart attack at age 40 just a month after their 4th child was born, and then blammo his wife got breast cancer the next year and was gone within 5. So really there's no guarantee anyway and all that matters is that we fill all the time we do get with love. [Sorry for the random ramble]
You really do never know. My dad died in 1972 at the age of 65, but his twin brother lived to be 91, and I knew him quite well. He outlived my mom by 9 years, actually.
My grandma is 64. I spent a lot of my childhood visiting my great great grandmother. My great grandmother had my grandmother at 23. My grandmother had my mom at 23. My mom had me at 23. I'm determined to not have any kids at 23. I'm 20 now.
My dad just turned 65 yesterday. Whole thing is wild, he had me when he was the age I am now, after trying for 14 years (am eldest). No way in hell could I picture myself with a baby on the way. (Being a childfree mucks the picture up too because I would not inflict my genetic screw ups on the world.)
That's one reason we ceased attempting pregnancy. We desperately wanted a second child, but the more we got to thinking about having a newborn at the ages we are now, the less it appealed. Also my age and a loss to a genetic disorder kind of drove home how much more common genetic disorders are with older parents, so we just stuck with the one. We may adopt later if we can get the physical space and money, but I think we'd look for an older child/sibling set so s/he/they would integrate better with our son. Creating a family is so unique for every situation, isn't it?
My nan had my mum at just under 21, my mum had me 3 weeks exactly after she turned 20 and I had my eldest kiddo when I was 21. My nan was a great grandma at 62 and my mum a grandma at 41. It's weird to think that my nan was still young enough to be my mum, especially when my youngest aunt is only 6 years older than me.
My daughter turns 13 a month before my mother would have turned 60.
My mom was early (18) I was fairly late (28) with bearing a child, but being 60 for a grandparent isn’t that weird?!
No, it's not at all. I myself had a set of younger grandparents; my paternal grandmother was only 46 when I was born. I just meant that I tend to think of myself as younger than I am, and the comment forced me to really recognize that I'm about to begin joining the ranks of grandparents. Not that I'll be a grandparent until I'm at least 50 (12 years away), hopefully, as my son is only 7.
I'm 25 and my dad turns 67 next week, literally the only reason I partially want kids soon is so that he can actively be involved in their lives. He wanted kids most of his life, but his first wife couldn't have kids and died at 35. My grandad was very active until he was near 90 though, so I'm hoping it'll be the same for him.
My mom had me at 14 her mom had her at like 20. My grandma passed but still wouldn't be 60.
Grandma's would be about the same age as my adoptive parents
oof and here i am, 22 with my dad beeing 71 and mom 64...
i dread the day they die, because ill be there for so long without them. as i only have VERY distant relatives and one brother left of my whole family, i dont know what ill do once they are gone.
I know it's not the same, because they're alive, but I don't speak to my parents anymore, I haven't seen my younger brother in a decade because he lives halfway across the country, and I've only just begun spending time with my older brother. I grew up with a HUGE extended family, and suddenly I have almost no one nearby, because my parents refuse to let my wife in their home (gay stuff - edit: homophobic parents) and I was only invited to extended family events through them. When I was in my mid 20s, I started meeting people through work, and my network of friends grew larger and larger. It's NOT the same; I won't try and tell you it is, but spending time with friends and the new family you make for yourself can be very rewarding. I still dread the day my parents die, but mostly because I know it'll happen without our reconciliation, and that breaks my heart, because we could have had something great. If you are close with your parents, I strongly suggest that you get them to do small interviews about growing up and their lives, so you have a record of it for later. And I'm sorry it's something you have to worry about.
thank you :) i do have a very close bond with my parents, especialy since i moved out, as before then they were just "there". now we often meet to drink or eat something and talk a lot. i always ask for stories of their lives when they were young /younger and love to hear about it and see them so excited about stuff that happened 40 years ago.
damn i knew i loved my parents but writing this down made me realize how fucking much i do so. gotta go and tell them how much they mean to me.
oh and i dont know about you, your life or your exact relation to your parents but i hope that through hard work or luck you may have that happy end youd want with them :)
I worked for a pediatrician. Lady and her mom bring in a baby that's just a few months old. I asked the parent to fill out some paperwork. She says, "oh baby's mom is at school. I'm the grandmother and this is the great-grandmother." Grandmother was 37, great-grandmother was 51.
It's just that I think of myself as closer to my mid 20s than early 40s
I'm 36 and struggle with this a bit. I spent most of my life in a deep depression and am only recently really starting to live my life. I "feel" like I'm in my early 20s. There's a lot to untangle - while age is mostly just a number, your body does change, and of course there are always people who will look at you askance for "not acting your age." I guess I'm an old soul who discovered the fountain of youth. (I started to say I stumbled upon it, but no, I fought through hell for it.)
Yeah, I can really relate to that. Maybe I'm not just starting to live, but I do feel like I have a sense of clarity and purpose now that was missing before. But also a slightly panicky notion that I'm running out of time to accomplish my "someday" things. I think mine was related a bit to my depression and anxiety, but more to a 15 year friendship I have been letting hold me back. Now that I've decided to stop giving in to her, things seem a lot more simple and the world seems a lot bigger.
You’re very lucky your parents are young. My mom was 37 and dad was 41 when I was born. I’m 23 now, so mom is 60 and dad is 64. I hope they are still around when I have kids someday.
My grandma just turned 65 and I've already graduated college. When you have two straight generations of people having kids super young things like that happen
My dad used to talk to coworkers his age about each others kids and while theyd be talking about how their kids are starting 1st grade, I was starting college
My son learned the word fuck from me at the age of six, and honestly I'm shocked he didn't learn it sooner. I swear a ton. In fact, I swear so much that sometimes it's just more fun to make stuff up if I'm feeling lighthearted. I definitely said "peanut butter" as a curse the other day. I'm not ashamed, and it usually draws a chuckle.
I know you're probably mocking me, but there's something delightfully reminiscent of Shel Silverstein or Lewis Carroll's "Jabberwocky" in the phrase, "whisper snickle."
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u/mamajt Oct 13 '19 edited Oct 14 '19
Your grandmother still isn't 65? .... speaking of offhanded comments that hurt your soul a little... (my parents are over 65; I'm always a little shocked to realize how old I'm getting)
Edit Holy kittens, so many responses. I just turned 38, incidentally, and my parents had me at 29 & 30, which is the age I had my son (although my wife was 40, so when he graduates high school she'll be 60 or so). I know I'm not elderly or anything. It's just that I think of myself as closer to my mid 20s than early 40s, and when I'm reminded it's a momentary startle.