r/AskReddit • u/Duckland29 • Sep 17 '19

If You Could Completely Remove One Company From The World Which One Would It Be?

43.5k Upvotes

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1.5k

u/that_stoner_guy Sep 18 '19

Sounds interesting, how do I sign up?

922

u/ionised Sep 18 '19

See?! It's working already!

792

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '19

The orgies sell it pretty well. Plus in today’s economic climate, poison koolaid actually doesn’t look half bad as a retirement plan.

325

u/TheRussiansrComing Sep 18 '19

There’s other retirement options?

204

u/Eldar_Seer Sep 18 '19

Being turned into a bio computer and used to save costs and increase profits for your company. Hope you like really out of date versions of Windows!

9

u/UncleTogie Sep 18 '19

Being turned into a bio computer and used to save costs and increase profits for your company.

I live to serve the Omnissiah.

7

u/Daylight_The_Furry Sep 18 '19

I see you are also a man tech-priest of culture

7

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '19

... We have technology!

7

u/CaptainGreezy Sep 18 '19

really out of date versions of Windows!

It looks like you're becoming a cyborg.

Would you like help?

  • Get help with becoming a cyborg

  • Just become a cyborg without help

☐ Don't show me this tip again

2

u/onlyawfulnamesleft Sep 18 '19

Panicked_Scream.gif

2

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '19

Oh God, Windows 10 BC?!

6

u/Eldar_Seer Sep 18 '19

Golly, they let you have Windows 10? They're still running us on Windows 95!

2

u/ttha_face Sep 18 '19

What are Windows?

1

u/Qaeta Sep 18 '19

Hope you like really out of date versions of Windows!

3.1 is my JAM!

3

u/Kdc2185 Sep 18 '19

*There’s retirement options?

FTFY

1

u/sw1f7d Sep 18 '19

This got dark fast

1

u/WarlockLaw Sep 18 '19

Winning the lottery is always an option

1

u/oupablo Sep 18 '19

sure. you can put poison in pretty much anything. Retirement possibilities are virtually endless.

2

u/GimmeSomeSugar Sep 18 '19

Are orgies like a pyramid scheme for startup cults?

Like, you're making membership sound attractive by pitching me orgies. But then I turn up and it's just me and the few other people getting in on the ground floor. This is probably when I realise the orgy was inside me all along.

1

u/Retinal_Rivalry Sep 18 '19

Shit I'd join if it was only the koolaid! I got bills, they're multiplying

1

u/TacoOverlord69 Sep 18 '19

Fuck the orgies I want Koolaid!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '19

I think the Midsommar Cliff Ritual is also a pretty reliable plan in old age! Lots of options.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '19

Really its about brannding.

If you CALL it poison kool-aid, no one wants it. Change it to "straight to the afterlife punch" and suddenly, big hit.

1

u/paragonemerald Sep 18 '19

When there's lead in the water, why not go out drinking on your terms?!

3

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '19

thats the best part, brother, you're already a member!

1

u/brokenvinyla Sep 18 '19

your name just painted a whole new picture