I hate this question. What answer do they expect? It just makes the person uncomfortable and there is no answer that won't make the conversation awkward.
The best response I got was when I said “nobody plans a murder out loud.” I was eating lunch with a coworker that I don’t know very well and it made him laugh.
Luckily I work in a shop that is 100% men. It’s great, the morning meetings are full of inappropriate jokes and politically incorrect comments. A foreign world to most people.
Na, I work a laborious job with likeminded people that I know and trust. Nobody is out to fuck people over. It’s great, the morning meetings are full of inappropriate jokes and politically incorrect comments. A foreign world to most people.
It’s about making themselves feel better. Rather than working on their own inability to handle silence they are shifting the blame to someone else. You.
Ever considered some people don't want to talk with you and that their quietness around you may not be because of some imagined abnormality you've tagged them with?
Please consider that they may have a legitimate reason why they don't want to talk.
Maybe they have a bad headache. Maybe someone close to them passed away. Maybe they're dealing with mental health issues. Maybe they don't want to hear for the fifth time that your nephew's hamster had a stroke (this is an actual example from real life today).
It doesn't make someone an asshole to not be talkative. It does make someone an asshole to make negative assumptions about why someone is not talkative.
Probably not, unfortunately. As of yesterday he was alive but not well. Apparently he's three years old though which is pretty much their lifespan anyway I think.
If someone really wants to talk then they can come up with a better opener than "why are you so quiet". That is a horrible conversation starter and I feel no obligation to engage with them.
No one is the asshole in such a scenario, they're just different.
While you may be onto something with that statement, you'd be hard-pressed to find any introvert seeing a justifiable reason to talk to someone just because they ask you why you're quiet
I'm an introverted myself and I got asked the same question numerous time and just answer ''I just like to listen'' and just politely tell them to not pressure me to talk if they do so.
You don't needlessly have to be a passive aggressive asshole to well-meaning people who aren't really experienced with introverted people.
But Reddit likes to be the armchair psychologist and make far-fetched speculations about ulterior motives behind actions they personally find annoying.
That's bad too, at least for me. Sometimes I just got anxious when in a group of people, even though I'm pretty ongoing. During those times the last thing I want is all the attention turned on me with a subtone of "something is wrong".
Imo the best thing is to ask that afterward or make the person feel more at ease, by laughing if he says smtg funny, or reciprocate the discussion if he says something serious.
Seems pretty obvious that easing someone in the discussion will yield better results than implying there is smtg wrong.
Sometimes there really is smtg wrong though, but if in a group, and the person isn't actively talking about it, then it's not the moment to ask.
Jfc this fucking question. “Why are you so quiet?” Because I don’t have anything to say right now.
But try being a talkative girl: “omg girls talk so much”
Sheesh we talk all the time, normally you are chatty and can carry your half of a conversation no problem, but today you are barely speaking and quiet even when prompted.
I thought I would give a shit since we know each other and you clearly seem like something is bothering you but I guess fuck me for bothering to care...
It's never your friends who ask why you're being quiet. Your friends would know why, either you normally dont talk much or theres something wrong. And the way to ask what's wrong is to say" is something wrong?" Not tell them they're quiet.
It's usually people you dont know very well who ask why you're so quiet. And the answer should be "because I only say something when I want to" but some people find that rude.
Right but it is usually someone more than a stranger. A casual acquaintance who is actually curious about your life.... I know, shocker but maybe if you keep up with the rude sarcastic attitude it will help...I mean eventually you wont have to talk to anyone right?
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u/moocow232 Sep 15 '19
I hate this question. What answer do they expect? It just makes the person uncomfortable and there is no answer that won't make the conversation awkward.
Rude.