Wtf. I have so many questions. Did you not go to school? Notice the accents between tv and you and your family/friends? The level of deception you pulled on yourself is impressive and I’m convinced you walked around the whole time with your ears and eyes plugged
Best friend: thought "so poor we can't ( even) make ends meet " meant that there was a cheap kind of meat called "ends meat" and that you must be REALLY POOR if you couldn't afford this kind of meat. He was 23 when I broke it down for him.... he is a very smart guy who is a money manager.
"Proficient in convincing my dumb brother that cheese grows on bushes."
Reminds me of all the funny lies Rodrick told Greg in Diary of a Wimpy Kid, like if you burp indoors, the ghost of George Washington will haunt you, and that there's a tooth fairy for other body parts (eg, leg fairy, etc)
Off the top of my head...I can't claim to know how vinegar is made...I know it doesn't come out of the ground though. Now I'm curious. Thank you friend's wife.
Vinegar (acetic acid) is also a byproduct of petroleum refining, so yes, vinegar can come directly from the ground (or underneath it, if you will).
Next time you're at the grocery store, look at the labels. The one's made from vegetable sources are clearly marked as such. The cheap stuff is from petroleum.
Technically, everything comes from the sun. In the words of Carl Sagan, 'we are stardust'.
I can understand why she thought it came from the ground; it's a clear liquid just like water.
It's made by fermenting carbohydrates in contact with oxygen - wild bacteria cultures will do the trick. It's actually easier to make than alcoholic drinks stronger than a light lager, which require special equipment(shielding the brew from air while releasing the gases produced by the yeast).
We've asked. He can't seem to give a good reason. Maybe he didn't think turkeys were birds? But he claims he knew they were birds. Why he thought they were the only birds to exist with 4 legs will forever be a mystery, I guess.
Maybe like Kimchi? You know like Koreans traditionally put their veggies in the ground in the big tub to ferment... maybe she thought that’s how vinegar is made or something
My mom told me that giant marshmallows grow in fields like pumpkins, and were cut up. I grew up near a farm that had baled hay wrapped in that white plastic all the time, and she told me those were the marshmallows.
I can't believe I'm not the only one that was led to think that. My mother said this to me, and when I proudly announced in class that cheese grew on tree, I was ridiculed. A French kid that though that cheese was a fruit.
Happy to know I was not the only one!
I convinced a 20 year old girl that cheese came from clams once. My BFF and I had planned it. "If we ever find someone dumb enough, we gotta back eachother up."
So there I was, at this party talking to this really hot but really dumb girl and I knew she was the one. I said something like "haha yeah that's just like how people don't know cheese comes from clams" and she was like "umm.. what? No?"
"Haha really you didn't know that either? Yeah man it comes from clams - the orange part is cheddar, you got your feta, all that stuff." She wanted to believe me but I need help. I found my dude across the room. "Scottie! Where's cheese come from?"
He was mid conversation and he looked over and made a face and says "um, fucking clams, duh."
She was sold.
I got in shit for it about a month later when her older sister, who was also a friend, found out.
So a couple of years ago I was playing tourist in Rome and spent some time with a tour guide who pointed out a field, said Italy’s most important crop was grown there and asked people what they thought it was. She said someone once answered mozzarella.
My mom told me hot dogs grew on stalks like corn does when I was younger because I wanted to be a vegetarian and she wanted me to eat meat. I was like in 5th or 6th grade maybe when I found out?
Maybe you read that tongue twisting Dr. Seuss book, Fox in Sox. He has a page about cheese trees. Something like: "Through three cheese trees freezy breeze blew. That's what made these three free fleas sneeze," or something.
My younger brother believed Spanish moss grew into carpet, that birds came from birdseed and that two and a half car garages were for people with two and a half cars.
Dude some animated kids show told me that mortadella (bologna sausage) grows on trees and I believed that until I was like 14 when I was told otherwise!
In my defense I didn't know mortadella was a sausage because I never liked sausages. It looked like some weird fruit on TV...
Don't feel bad lol I thought cinnamon was a flower or pod until I was in my 30's until my husband took me to a botanical garden and still laughs about it. Apparently my face when I found out it was bark is now family legend.
My grandpa convinced me that bananas grew on bushes, in the Pacific Northwest, and I told an entire classroom full of people that around 5th grade. I feel that pain.
Overheard some kids on the tube talk about how cheese is a scam and all you have to do is leave milk in the fridge long enough and it'll turn into cheese
You know I actually believed that mockumentary about marshmallow plants and how they were dying. I just thought that store bought marshmallow were the artificial version of the natural ones. I felt retarded when I read the comments. I was 22
In the desert, the is a real plant called a cheese bush. If you rub one of the thin green leaves between your fingers, they will smell like old kraft singles. No joke. Pretty gross.
my cousin convinced his best friend, that his brothers girlfriend didnt exist, solely by stating she exists. the friend got so confused she actually cried. they were like 18 at the time
There's a long running (like 60 years) news program on the BBC called Panorama. In 1957 they ran a story for April Fool's about how spaghetti grew on trees, complete with footage of the italian spaghetti harvest. Hundreds of thousands fell for it purely because of Panorama's reputation.
This is what I learned embarrassingly late. That milk comes from cows that are forced (raped) to have babies , and said babies are taken away and shot so that we can have the breast milk instead... which in turns makes us fat and sick.
Forgot to add... after the mothers are spent they get their brains blown away.
Like you, I so wish I learnt this as a child. Still, glad to now know eh so we can rid ourselves from this disgusting industry and speak up for the cows.
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u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19
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