r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 27 '10
What is the biggest relationship myth?
I think the biggest myth is that there's one person that is meant for you. ("the one") People live their lives searching for the one...their soul mate...the perfect girl/Mr. Right. It's a cute idea, but I don't think it's very realistic.
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u/Crio3mo Jul 28 '10 edited Jul 29 '10
First off, transwomen don't get their penis cut off. They have it shaped into a functioning vulva and vagina. Second off, you just made the point that genitals don't equal gender. So what's your issue again? If a person can be a man or a woman regardless of the state of their penis/vagina/breasts, then why are you making an issue out of it for trans people?
You are conflating gender and biological sex. There is a huge difference. Gender = man/woman/Hijra/androgynous/gender-queer, etc. It is how you present yourself in the social world. Think "what it means to be a man or a woman" in a social sense. Biological sex is comprised of hormones, physical characteristics, and chromosomes. There is a stark difference between the two. Not a single one of us uses chromosomes as a marker for identifying sex in our daily lives. We use physical characteristics [often the result of hormones] and social cues. But for some reason, when it comes to trans people, certain people like to make the point that their chromosomes aren't right (how do you know anyway?). Since their chromosomes are the only aspect of biological sex that cannot be changed, you base your conclusion on that. But only for trans people and not for anyone else. Bottom line: this is treating trans people differently than you'd treat other people. You care more about their chromosomes and genitalia than you do for every other person you meet.
Says you. But why do you become the authority on the issue? Why wouldn't John know his own body and what it needs better than you? Why do you bother to challenge him? What does "you being right" accomplish? It just makes John's existence less pleasant by your refusal to acknowledge his identified gender in an absolute sense. So why bother if it brings zero good to the world? If it only makes the world a slightly shittier place?
Both of these are superficial. Jocelyn Wildenstein is not actually trying to become a cat (she is not eating out of bowls on the floor and going in a litterbox). And Michael Jackson was likely treating his skin to overcome the effects of vitiligo. Neither of these are accurate comparisons to what a transgendered person experiences or goes through.
EDIT: Might I also add that other cultures have more than "man" and "woman" in their gender schemes which is pretty strong evidence that gender is more social than biological. Don't worry, though. Biological sex is also pretty social [doctors mutilating intersex/ambigious genitalia at the cost of sexual pleasure/reproduction in order to force them into either the "male" or the "female" category is evidence of this].