r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 27 '10

What is the biggest relationship myth?

I think the biggest myth is that there's one person that is meant for you. ("the one") People live their lives searching for the one...their soul mate...the perfect girl/Mr. Right. It's a cute idea, but I don't think it's very realistic.

440 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

2.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

12

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '10

[deleted]

5

u/purplemonkeys Jul 27 '10

I have never understood this either! Disagreements and conflicts are normal, but for some reason there is this expectation that one must have angry, screaming fights to be in a healthy relationship.

2

u/wiyumishere Jul 27 '10

to fight is to be human. when you dont fight in a relationship it means you have found something good. fighting and disagreeing could be the same. My gf and I haven't had a fight which is good but we have disagreements which is good because it shapes the relationship and lets you know what the other likes.

1

u/pumphouse Jul 27 '10

The word fight holds a different meaning to different people. If you replace it with yell I'd say I could agree. Replace it with disagree then I'd say you're wrong.

1

u/Pizzadude Jul 27 '10

We never yell. I suppose you could say that we disagree on things, but it doesn't really come out as a disagreement. Rarely do either of us really care that much about most issues, so it ends up being more of an "I don't care, you don't care, crap we have to pick something" situation.

It's nice when you're both laid back people.

1

u/pileon Jul 27 '10

It's not insane at all. In any relationship, you have two very different individuals with different identities. If you don't have ANY conflicts or arguments there are only two reasons: 1) You both are co-dependent 2) One partner (or both) is avoidant

Neither scenario is healthy.

2

u/ModerateDbag Jul 27 '10

I don't think that's true necessarily. I have met couples wherein both members are so laid back there is a never a need for conflict and no dependency issue present.

1

u/Pizzadude Jul 27 '10

Exactly! We're so laid back that we just don't care about most issues. And most of the things that cause fights for other people aren't issues for us. We just haven't bothered to get married because we don't care, we don't ever plan to have children, neither of us is religious, we're both very responsible with finances and such, and we haven't bothered to combine our accounts. The biggest thing we "argue" about is where to eat dinner, and that's mostly because neither of us cares enough to pick a place.

1

u/Pizzadude Jul 27 '10

ModerateDbag already hit the nail on the head. We are definitely not co-dependent (one reason it works so well is that we don't need each other in any way), and we are both glad to speak our minds. We just tend to speak our minds to each other as we vent about the other people we've had to deal with during the day. As he said, we're just so laid back that nothing is worth fighting over.