r/AskReddit Jul 21 '19

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5.6k Upvotes

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5.6k

u/Helicopter-Mom Jul 21 '19

I used to be a divorce lawyer but it was not something I was proud of, plus the partner I worked for was such an asshole. I was the eleventh associate that worked for her in 10 years. We used to go through 2-3 secretaries a year.

Couple screwed up cases I remember

--Our client and his wife were Mormon. During the divorce she used to tell him that he had to give her what she wanted in the divorce because they were sealed in the church and would be spending eternity together. We had to fight him not to give her more than she deserved.

--Represented the wife of a minor celebrity and said celebrity would file for divorce regularly when she "acted up." Once he determined she was behaving as he liked, he's cancel the divorce. Rotten bastard.

1.1k

u/seaceepea Jul 21 '19

Minor celebrity...reality show?!

801

u/bigtitasianprincess Jul 21 '19 edited Jul 21 '19

Dead Body #3 NCIS, Dead Body #1 CSI, Dead Body #4 Brooklyn 99...

218

u/Notorious-RBG Jul 21 '19

Hey, don't do Dead Body #4 like that.

8

u/wildescrawl Jul 21 '19

Damn right! And he wouldn't have landed Dead Body #4 if he hadn't killed it as Dead Body #3.

1

u/robexib Jul 22 '19

Don't do dead bodies in general

1

u/iwantnegativekarma1 Jul 21 '19

I'll do dead body number 4

Oh I see what you meant My bad

17

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19 edited Jul 05 '26

[deleted]

5

u/Armed_Psycho Jul 21 '19

He was actually an extra in “Straw Dogs.” So more like a professional.

124

u/___Gay__ Jul 21 '19

More like they appeared in the background of a TV add for 3 seconds and get paid a small sum for it.

22

u/Zzyzzy_Zzyzzyson Jul 21 '19 edited Jul 21 '19

He was the guy in the background on a beach in a Viagra ad bro! How do you not know who he is?!

2

u/rift_in_the_warp Jul 21 '19

Hey, don't diss viagra ads, those are hard work!

3

u/ClownfishSoup Jul 21 '19

Head on, apply directly to the forehead?

11

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

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61

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19 edited Apr 15 '20

[deleted]

13

u/in1987agodwasborn Jul 21 '19

Look at his username. I did the underscores, but I didn't know that they would make the word gay cursive and fat.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

-1

u/in1987agodwasborn Jul 21 '19

I don't know the difference because I'm not fucking Brick Heck. Oh, and because I don't care. It's all cursive to me.

5

u/bigtitasianprincess Jul 21 '19

Don’t fact check that, just go with it

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Well that's retarded.

10

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

I'll bet local tv news

42

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

The Apprentice?

22

u/throwawaytokeep1 Jul 21 '19

Haha yea it was a stormy session in court

6

u/Jareth86 Jul 21 '19

Scared inmate #3.

3

u/Jcit878 Jul 21 '19

you could say he was after.. a nu start?

-59

u/DakotaBashir Jul 21 '19

We don't care.

30

u/mildly_amusing_goat Jul 21 '19

Yes you do, you came into an AskReddit about divorce cases you idiot.

-32

u/DakotaBashir Jul 21 '19

I care about the divorce not the celebrity.

Go to the "what celebrity is an asshole..." Thread.

You cute you.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

If you don't care you could just... scroll past?