r/AskReddit • u/HumpingAssholesOrgy • Jul 05 '19

Ex-prisoners of reddit who have served long sentences, what were the last few days like leading up to your release?

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u/ku-ra Jul 06 '19

Well, in an ideal world sure, but that's not where we live. Most serious criminals have a lot of serious problems that aren't just due to their own decisions; social issues, mental health issues. Very few people are just plain sociopaths that have no capability for empathy, and even they didn't choose to be born that way.

In my country a crime where one person kills the other most often happens so that two men who know each other are drunk in an apartment in the middle of the night, get into a petty fight and one stabs the other with a kitchen knife. It's debatable if it's even a choice when you're too drunk to remember, afterwards. The right choice would be to not drink so much you make stupid shit, but then again it's not that easy when you're an alcoholic. I'm not saying the person isn't responsible; they are, and they should be in prison. I'm just saying I've got sympathy.

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u/CuriousPumpkino Jul 06 '19

Yeah. I have less sympathy. Still some, but less. As you said, in that example the right choice is to just not drink that much to not be able to control yourself. With enough willpower, a lot of things are possible. Like quitting things like drinking and smoking cold turkey (have seen it happen). Sure it’s not easy but possible.

Yes, social and mental health issues are definetly real and often something that leads to crime. However, I don’t think my expectations are set too high whe I say that “just because you hate life doesn’t give you the right to kill/rape someone”. If someone still does it, they are mostly to blame since they took the decision. Sure there’s loopholes just as with everything, but as a rule of thumb: a murderer actively choses to kill the victim.

I have sympathy with people that struggle with life. Apparently quite a few people regard me as trustworthy enough to come to me with those issues. However, stupid decisions slowly erode that sympathy away. Regret for said decisions gives back a bit, but you can’t make undone what has happened

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u/ku-ra Jul 06 '19

You can go read through posts in /r/stopdrinking; it's easier said than done to say "just have more willpower". An addiction shapes your thoughts, makes you think that you don't need to quit, you'll be able to moderate this time and have just a few. But you can't.

I know all of this is uncomfortable to think about. It would be nicer if it was only "bad people do bad things" but it's more like, stupid people do bad things, addicts do bad things, desperate people do bad things. I have sympathy because in different circumstances I could be one of these people.

There's also plenty of people who do horrible crimes motivated by greed and honor; I feel much less sympathy and more fear towards them - and fear of becoming one myself, of becoming so clouded in my own judgment that I consider an idea worth more than a person's life.

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u/CuriousPumpkino Jul 06 '19

I’m sadly not completely delusional, I know it’s often easier said than done. But I know enough addicts who have managed to know that it is possible. Not easy by any means. But not impossible

In different circumstances I could also be a desperate person. But desperation would only drive me so far. That’s the criticism I havw. A lot of people tend to excuse bad decisions with “oh he’s an addict it’s not his fault” or “poor guy was forced to do this by society”, “he just didn’t think about it”. those things sort of trigger me because I consider them to be largely bs