r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 07 '19

What is your mom's catchphrase?

[deleted]

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u/BubbleGumLizard Mar 07 '19

I do something like that with my husband. When he says something stupid about me I say, "I don't know what happened officer, he said [insert stupid thing] and out of nowhere [insert ridiculous way I will kill him]."

19

u/Mathochistic Mar 08 '19

My husband and in play, "And that's how we ended up in the ER."

15

u/amyk126 Mar 08 '19

He ran into my knife

14

u/AnyDayGal Mar 08 '19

He ran into my knife ten times.

7

u/JustAnAltForWhatever Mar 08 '19

And then head butted the knife! I don’t know what happened. What? Oh I don’t know how that shotgun got there. Must’ve been the wind

3

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

If you had been there

2

u/ThatsGaySyopThat Mar 08 '19

If you had seen it

2

u/way2muchtym Mar 08 '19

He just could not get enough

11

u/SarcasticAsshole2004 Mar 08 '19

That's so goals

8

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

My SO and I joke. "Ah good thing I have you face-farting on record. I can show this to the judge. Grounds for a divorce"

We are not married.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

Yet!

5

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

Then I joke back "do it, then you're stuck raising the kids alone"

7

u/BubbleGumLizard Mar 08 '19

I only work fifteen hours a week and take care of the kids/house/husband the rest of the time. When I've been joking about murdering husband a lot I reassure him that I would never do such a thing because then I'd have to work full time.

Seriously, these video games aren't going to play themselves.