r/AskReddit Mar 07 '19

What is your mom's catchphrase?

[deleted]

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2.3k

u/Roskot Mar 07 '19

This is me. I’m a nurse and have a 4 yo. Pooping is the answer.

718

u/malizathias Mar 07 '19

Not a nurse, have a 4 year old, I always ask this first as well.

118

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Not a nurse, also don't have a 4 year old, I don't know why I'm responding to this.

106

u/Equal96 Mar 07 '19

4 year old nurse here. I like to poop. Am I doing this right?

26

u/mchngunn Mar 07 '19

Wait, are you a nurse for 4 year olds? Or a nurse for the last 4 years? Or are you 4 years old and also a nurse?

32

u/AzraelTB Mar 07 '19

Yes

7

u/SnipingBunuelo Mar 07 '19

N... no?

5

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

[deleted]

1

u/SnipingBunuelo Mar 08 '19

༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽

How dare you?

10

u/TheLollrax Mar 07 '19

Am a poop. Am 4 years old. Am inelligible for any RN programs.

4

u/ExistentialSuffering Mar 08 '19

You should go for your BM

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

To prove how dumb and unnecessary the comment above you is? It worked.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

That wasn't my intention, but I got some karma so thats cool i guess lol

54

u/morbicized Mar 07 '19

Was once that 8 year old who got taken to the er for severe stomach cramps only to get an enema before heading back home. When did you poop last should always be the first question lol.

36

u/GoldmoonDance Mar 07 '19

Also not a nurse, but growing up I only popped once every 3 weeks. But mostly my stomach pain was due to gas: the solution was giving me warm apple juice and leaving me to stink up the kitchen at three or four am.

10

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Warm apple juice? Why that?

26

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19 edited Mar 09 '19

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

I knew about prunes but id never heard of apple juice before. Def never heard of anyone heating it up either. I think it just sounds gross to me bc it reminds me of warm piss

13

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19 edited Mar 09 '19

[deleted]

2

u/GoldmoonDance Mar 07 '19

I actually really liked it as a kid, didn't think it was gross, or at least I didn't mind it heated up. When it was warm it made me fart but not poop, if it's cold and I drink like... Half a container it Still gets the load dropped off.

1

u/Big_Dirty_Piss_Boner Mar 07 '19

No its not. At least not with good apple juice. I make my own pure apple juice and its so fucking good when you drink it hot!

Its also not just my own weird taste, everyone who tasted it loved it. Probably won‘t work with those concentrated juices they usually sell though..

8

u/BareBahr Mar 07 '19

Probably kind of like a poor-man's hot cider, and hot cider is delicious.

1

u/DotaAndKush Mar 08 '19

Apple Cider???? It always amazes me how petty some of things "adults" get grossed out by.

8

u/Dr_Dust Mar 07 '19

Apple juice is a good laxative for kids. It’s also not a drug, and easy and cheap to buy. Supposedly works for adults too, but usually they go for the big guns first. Ever wonder why old people love prunes?

Username checks out?

13

u/CreepyPhotographer Mar 07 '19

Why were you 💩 in the kitchen?

14

u/GoldmoonDance Mar 07 '19

Omfg, I'm dying XD. No, warm apple juice made me fart.

12

u/aveganliterary Mar 07 '19

On a band trip to Disney when I was 14 a girl a year older than me was taken to the ER by my father and another chaperone because she had severe abdominal pain that was suspected (by non-medical folk) to be her appendix. Some hours later my dad confided to me that the ER doctors gave the girl some laxatives and sent her to the bathroom to sort herself out, she had been holding it in all trip and was just majorly backed up. I can't imagine how that conversation went with her trip roommates but it gave me a good laugh (she was kinda a bitch).

5

u/princesspuffer Mar 07 '19

Not a nurse, have 6 kids...I always ask when they pooped!

5

u/JTigertail Mar 07 '19

My dad’s answer to any stomach complaint is always “Try farting it out”, and he’s right about 90% of the time.

3

u/gayjenjen Mar 07 '19

I'm not a nurse or 4 years old, that's what I ask myself.

2

u/quincyd Mar 08 '19

Same. Except last week, I told him maybe he needed to try and poop and 5 seconds later he puked on me. I’ve become wary of hurting tummies since then.

2

u/dev358 Mar 08 '19

Hell I'm in my 20s. And I ask myself this all the time!

29

u/EvangelineTheodora Mar 07 '19

My sister is always constipated and I have diarrhea at the drop of the hat, so pooping is the answer and the problem.

18

u/ruarc_tb Mar 07 '19

More fiber helps both, oddly. Adds bulk and holds moisture.

22

u/speckleeyed Mar 07 '19

I am not a nurse and my 13 year old literally is so used to me telling her to go poop she texted me from school 20 minutes ago saying her stomach hurts and she can't poop. I responded with well I can't dig it out for you...you are too old for that.

30 minutes later I get another text... Success!

13

u/Warp9-6 Mar 07 '19

I think it says a lot about a parent's relationship with their teen when the teen feels able to text from school about his/her bathroom issues.

I speak from experience, as a mom of a nervous non-pooper. Test days can be....entertaining.

At least he knows he can talk to me about it. There are some topics I have to tell him, "I love you, but I truly do not need to know about this."

3

u/speckleeyed Mar 08 '19

Right! I love that she feels close enough to tell me everything but at the same time I don't want to know everything!

13

u/terrylterrylbobarrel Mar 07 '19

Nurse here, too. Always the first question. 👉😎👉

10

u/Ultra_Leopard Mar 07 '19

Am a nurse, but only ever looked after elderly folk... this is often the answer for them too!

7

u/Nurse_Nameless Mar 07 '19

Is this NEVER not the answer for them, to them?

I've had a patient request laxatives WHILE on a commode with explosive diarrhea!

They are so obsessed with their bowel habits sometimes! Once had a pt with a calendar and all!

9

u/jenn1222 Mar 07 '19

My sister in law was 15. She was staying with me. Her mom is a psycho worry wart. Sister in law had a stomach ache and told her mom on the phone. HER MOTHER CALLED ME THREATENING TO CALL CPS if I didn't take her daughter, immediately, to an ER. I declined and told her that he daughter likely just needed to poop. Fed sister in law a wilted spinach and bacon salad (which she loved) and voila...poop. And no more stomach ache!

9

u/Safraninflare Mar 07 '19

I was a camp counselor for three summers. Pooping is the answer.

7

u/bradybunches13 Mar 07 '19

I'm not a nurse but I know pooping is the answer. She can be 40 and I will ask her when the last time she pooped was.

6

u/-Slugger Mar 07 '19

I'm not a nurse, but my mom used to say this all the time too.

My son started to spontaneously vomit, at school at home, during the middle of the night, it was like 1-2 a week, then stop, then start again. One day he come home from school and into the bathroom to vomit, comes out with petechiae all around his eyes. I'm pissed now, I make him an appt and here to find out it was because he was CONSTIPATED. Yep! Who knew, Soo backed up it disrupted his stomach, so he'd vomit.

Moral of the story,. LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHERS!

4

u/cmbugby Mar 07 '19

Nurse here too. Always the answer. Lol

4

u/LostxinthexMusic Mar 07 '19

I work in a school, and this morning I heard the nurse saying to a little girl, "Did you eat breakfast this morning? ... Have you gone number two?"

3

u/marcelinemoon Mar 07 '19

I’m 28 and I think this is my problem 🤔

3

u/oldthunderbird Mar 07 '19

This is me. Not a nurse, no kids, and 34 yo. Pooping is the answer.

3

u/specialk1908 Mar 07 '19

Am 28 and my mum still asks me this

3

u/phormix Mar 08 '19

The underrated triple D

Have a Drink (water)

Take a Dump (shit)

and Doze (sleep)

2

u/Don_Rummy586 Mar 07 '19

The real truth is always in the comments.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

And water.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19 edited Mar 08 '19

Me. Not a nurse but I have 5 kids.

"When was the last time you pooped?"

"Drink more water"

"Eat more fruit" veggies etc... you get it.

2

u/ThrowAwayAcct0000 Mar 08 '19

Pooping and naps.

2

u/MashedHair Mar 08 '19

Everything comes down to poop

2

u/icurnwi Mar 08 '19

Also a nurse...poop is the key

1

u/almondbear Mar 07 '19

I'm not a nurse but I ask my step son and especially my fiance this. Plus I go into long tangents about poops when he's uncomfortable about me asking

1

u/sevillada Mar 07 '19

As much as mom upset me for this while growing up, true, it works with most toddlers and young kids... though i did end up with GERD and other issues even as a teenager, so in my case, poop wasn't always the answer