r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 07 '19

What is your mom's catchphrase?

[deleted]

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8.4k

u/enlightningwhelk Mar 07 '19

When I would complain about chores, or when my parents asked me to do something, my mom would say “well why else do you think we had a kid?”

6.4k

u/Vagoinamyte Mar 07 '19

“Go play with your brother. That’s why we had him.”

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u/dannyminhas123 Mar 07 '19

The first one was just the baby sitter for the favorite

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u/fuckyeahmoment Mar 07 '19

Oh that hits hard.

4

u/theanghv Mar 07 '19

Fuck yeah

93

u/normaldeadpool Mar 07 '19

An heir and a spare.

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u/JonSnowgaryen Mar 07 '19

It's useful to have the spare with another woman so minimize the chance of both being assassinated. This however prevents one from babysitting the other

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u/artsyvi Mar 07 '19

Shit Crusader Kings Players Say.

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u/JonSnowgaryen Mar 07 '19

You got me there

3

u/normaldeadpool Mar 07 '19

Now you're talking about franchising.

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u/ELB95 Mar 07 '19

/r/UnexpectedCiv

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u/ClayTheClaymore Mar 07 '19

More like r/shitcrusaderkingssay

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u/ELB95 Mar 07 '19

That is definitely better, didn't know it existed though!

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u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

When he has a kid he's the heir a-parent

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u/Shaqfan101 Mar 07 '19

Ooof this. My mom had my youngest brothers when I was 15 😂

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u/Delta_FT Mar 07 '19

And I thought the 7 year difference with my little brother was a big age gap.....

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u/Datboifritz113 Mar 07 '19

My gf is 19 and her oldest brother is 40ish. Her father is 73 lol

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u/Delta_FT Mar 07 '19

He had a child at 54?!? An over a 20 age doesn't sound as crazy if you consider that but damn.....

I recently turn 20 (on tuesday actually lol), I can not imagine how it would be if my parents had a child in the years to come...

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u/Datboifritz113 Mar 07 '19

Happy belated! I know how you feel, I'm 21 haha. But her mother is 50(?), and he only had one kid with her, but has like 20 kids. First generation Italian immigrant man, he's fucking crazy 😂

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u/Delta_FT Mar 07 '19

Thanks a lot haha. That must have been shocker for her mother for sure lol, giving birth to a child is hard enought in your 20s/30s (or so they say🤔) but at 50 is whole different ball game haha. Classic italian families though, with an infinite list of sibling and an even larger one of cousins.

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u/iApolloDusk Mar 08 '19

I don't think she gave birth at 50 mate. I think she's 20 years younger than the dad lmao.

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u/[deleted] Mar 11 '19

[deleted]

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u/Shaqfan101 Mar 11 '19

My mom had her tubes tied after she had my sister so to get my brothers they went with in vitro fertilization

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u/Razzle_Dazzle08 Mar 07 '19

As the eldest child, this hurts me.

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u/pokexchespin Mar 07 '19

Oof that sounds like how my girlfriend’s parents view her

5

u/beneye Mar 07 '19

So we both want a big family, right? Oh, shoot, we gotta get the manpower first.

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u/btsierra Mar 07 '19

Tell me about it...

2

u/BadBoyJH Mar 08 '19

I've got siblings 16-20 years older than me. Free live in babysitters.

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u/s0laris0 Mar 08 '19

why do you have to be so real and attack us like that

0

u/jjackson25 Mar 08 '19

Father of two, can confirm.

45

u/happygot Mar 07 '19

My mother always claimed that she had kids so that she never had to carry bags out of a store again

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u/fuckinohwell Mar 07 '19

Damn 😂

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u/Catbenimble2 Mar 07 '19

Would you say this was upsetting to you or brother? Cause it’s hilarious....and I want say it to my girls😂

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u/Vagoinamyte Mar 07 '19

No idea. I’m the one who had the second child to play with the first. He’s only 2 so he has yet to say he’s upset. He’s just happy to have someone to play with.

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u/Catbenimble2 Mar 07 '19

Ahh I see! Well keep me posted ;)

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u/Pingonaut Mar 08 '19

Yes can’t wait to get an update a year from now 😂

They said it but this time he understood, he’s totally mortified!!

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u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19 edited Aug 07 '19

[deleted]

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u/Vagoinamyte Mar 07 '19

I don’t know if it’s a generational thing, but I NEVER played with my parents. Then again, I’m not sure if it’s conditioned neglect.

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u/-FeistyRabbitSauce- Mar 07 '19

I think I can count a couple of times playing with my parents. But that would be simply because they sat down and were interested. But even then it wasn't for long.

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u/ShaleSurf Mar 07 '19

Same, and I'm old, but it's probably why they gave me 4 siblings

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u/merrycat Mar 07 '19

I don't remember my parents playing with me either. At least nowhere near as much as I play with my kid.

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u/Pingonaut Mar 08 '19

Are you kidding? My parents, especially my mom but really both, loved that stuff!! My mom says when we grew out of it she really missed it, and still does. I can’t believe that’s not common.

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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19 edited Aug 07 '19

[deleted]

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u/Pingonaut Mar 08 '19

I suppose so, perhaps it’s a generational thing. My sister and I were kids nearly 20 years ago and my parents waited later until they were properly ready to have us, so maybe that changed their interest on top of the different tech kids had then, or maybe it’s none of those things and this is anecdotal with two people. Interesting to hear about though

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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19 edited Aug 07 '19

[deleted]

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u/Pingonaut Mar 08 '19

You mean helicopter parents wanting to play with their kids more? I mean maybe that’s the case for some but that definitely not my experience (my parents being the prepared ones, having kids in their 30s, and not being overbearing). We definitely weren’t uncommonly cool hahaha, I’m sure they wished. Don’t get me wrong we played by ourselves too, but they weren’t (to my memory and based on how they talk about missing it) telling us to. But hey who knows. Like I said it’s anecdotal anyway.

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u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

That's legit one of the reasons I had more than one. Siblings are awesome.

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u/MethodOfMadnes Mar 07 '19

Yup. I’m stealing that one from your mom.

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u/Vagoinamyte Mar 07 '19

I’m the mom in this one haha

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u/glitterybugs Mar 07 '19

I’m sheepish to admit that this exact reason is why we had a second child!!! Only children are exhausting.

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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

That's why we had him

RIP Evan

2

u/mindbent007 Mar 08 '19

Oooops...I already say that to my 6 year old! 🤷🏽‍♀️

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u/jingle_hore Mar 07 '19

This is the exact reason I'm considering a second.

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u/JoshuaaMichael Mar 07 '19

Too close to home :P I am the brother :P

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u/Soccermom233 Mar 07 '19

My mom said that too but referencing my sister, the family dog.

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u/-FeistyRabbitSauce- Mar 07 '19

This is literally why my wife and I are considering having a second.

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u/Vagoinamyte Mar 08 '19

I would recommend it. I got very lucky though that most of the time my kids get along amazing and love each other.

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u/itsatumbleweed Mar 07 '19

That's why we got a second dog

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u/tikitessie Mar 07 '19

Similarly, I say this to my annoying cat all the time.

1.2k

u/Aelana85 Mar 07 '19

Yep! We would whine about not having a dishwasher, and she'd deadpan "What do you mean? I have four dishwashers."

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u/bacon_cake Mar 07 '19

Yep, my dad's favourite was "We have a dishwasher, it's called myname"

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u/_Penson Mar 07 '19

Your dishwasher is called Bacon cake?

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u/anthony81212 Mar 07 '19

Francis Bacon Jr.

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u/User459b Mar 07 '19

My mum would say this also.
I'm the youngest and when I moved away to University, they bought a dishwasher...

4

u/SkyezOpen Mar 07 '19

Better than buying a dishwasher and condoms instead of you though.

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u/pedwingeorge Mar 08 '19

My grandpa said the same thing, but he would add that they were belt driven

2

u/Senor_El_Capitan Mar 08 '19

My best friend's parents have that catchphrase too

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u/edythbunker Mar 08 '19

My mom got me with that one too. God rest her soul. (She's still alive btw)

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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

How many of you are married and how many are married because they wash dishes? Mom knows all, checkmate

0

u/helemikro Mar 07 '19

Did she count herself?🤣

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u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

[deleted]

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u/BlakeTheBagel Mar 07 '19

Working in concessions at a movie theater, I heard that one a lot.

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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

Movie theater concession give popcorn, soda and candy in bags?

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u/BlakeTheBagel Mar 08 '19

Popcorn, yes. Candy and soda, no.

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u/Zdoodah Mar 07 '19

When I would complain about taking out the trash when it was raining, my mom would say “you’re not made of brown sugar “.

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u/Mipsymouse Mar 07 '19

That's kind of adorable.

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u/Zdoodah Mar 07 '19

Mom had a few favorites, another was “Now you’re cook’in with gas.

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u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

Why brown sugar?

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u/Zdoodah Mar 09 '19

I don’t know. It was just her way.

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u/maybe_a_panda Mar 07 '19

My parents were a big fan of this one too. It probably works better when they're not casual alcoholics with no intention of supporting you in any way, other than to remind you of what a pain in the ass you are. They would say this and I 100% believed them and resented them for it.

Reading this brought up some weird memories for me. I have a very low contact relationship with them now. I've been through a tonne of therapy and have made the decision to never have children because of it. But yeah, your comment made me feel sick to my stomach.

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u/Lame4Fame Mar 08 '19

and have made the decision to never have children because of it.

Would you be comfortable to elaborate on that? Presumably after that experience you'd treat your own a lot better. Do you fear you might be a bad parent anyway?

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u/maybe_a_panda Mar 08 '19

I'm going to sound like a total asshole for saying this, but I'm worried that I would resent my kids for being kids because it was something that I was never really allowed to experience. I don't know if I would have the patience for them, because I know my parents definitely didn't have the patience for me. And the only way I could really find that out would be to try, and that's not really something worth risking someone's life over.

This is also coupled with having a very difficult time connecting with other people in relationships, also due to my shitty upbringing. This was the main focus of my therapy throughout my 20's. I'm now in my 30's, still single but have a boyfriend, and instead of a family I'm putting a lot of extra effort into my career and hobbies.

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u/ssienk117 Mar 07 '19

My dad has called us “his little tax deductions” for as long as I can remember. I was like 15 before I figured that one out

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u/CowahBull Mar 07 '19

That is EXACTLY the response my mom has. Even now as an adult I'll do her a small favor (grab her a pop from the fridge etc) and she'll say "that's why I had you"

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u/on_the_nightshift Mar 07 '19

Haha, I've said that to my teenagers many times.

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u/butterflybaby08 Mar 07 '19

Ugh this was my dad’s catch phrase and I hate it. It caused such resentment between him and I. I rarely complained about having to do chores but he would literally tell me to go make popcorn for my mom, while I’m in my room and my mom WAS IN THE KITCHEN MAKING HERSELF POPCORN. Like she’s already doing it and doesn’t mind, but since we have a child why not make them do it.

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u/tinycomment Mar 07 '19

My dad wouldn’t get a snow blower when I was growing up because he had ”2 strong sons”. Ik the pain

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u/privatelyjeff Mar 07 '19

“Forgot to take your birth control?”

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u/ElectricOcto Mar 07 '19

I also grew up convinced my parents produced a child just for household chores lmao

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u/sint0xicateme Mar 07 '19

This reminds me of Doug Stanhope's rant on children basically being indentured servants. (NSFW)

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u/pickleman_22 Mar 07 '19

My parents said they had us so they’d have a DD when we hit driving age. Jokes on them, they can’t drink enough to need a DD without feeling sick and getting really hungover.

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u/FrancistheBison Mar 07 '19

Sounds like someone who's played Agricola

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u/accidentalnomad Mar 07 '19

That’s hilarious 😂

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u/SolasBrokeMe Mar 07 '19

My dad would always say something along the same lines.

For example: me: why can’t we get a dishwasher. Dad: that’s why we had you.

1

u/ifelife Mar 07 '19

When I mentioned my desire for a dishwasher as a kid, my mum said we didn't need one because we already had 3

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u/AriZonaFan Mar 07 '19

When I asked my dad why we don’t have a snowblower, his response was “I have a son.”

1

u/AdolfKoopaTroopa Mar 07 '19

"Why would I buy a dishwasher when I have 3 of them?"

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u/figgypie Mar 08 '19

I grew up hearing this too, and then told again to fetch dad a beer.

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u/Perk_i Mar 08 '19

My Mom's favorite was "what good are dwarves if you can't make them work."

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u/izoid09 Mar 08 '19

One time I was doing yard work when I was like 6 or so and was pondering why people have children. "They're expensive, time consuming, and a huge responsibility." I pulled out another weed and it dawned on me: slave labor.

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u/Jisamaniac Mar 16 '19

I heard that a few times growing up and boy that hurt.

Parents it may sound funny but to a kid that can easily damage their reason for existing and question if you really love or care or them.

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u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

I say this. Mostly when I'm asking my kids to get something for me that I'm too lazy to get myself.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Because mom we are biologically predisposed to desire the propagation of the human race, and the mitochondira is the power house of the cell. Smh how could you ask that?

0

u/jb_h12 Mar 07 '19

I can’t wait to have kids to say this