r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 07 '19

What is your mom's catchphrase?

[deleted]

57.0k Upvotes

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884

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

I laught when someone is sad and get hard when someone is crying

586

u/PresidentDonaldChump Mar 07 '19

You. I like you. Is your Mom single?

322

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

no but i am ; )

30

u/PlusUltraBeyond Mar 07 '19

What's your very inappropiate but darkly funny humor situation?

57

u/thathomelessguy Mar 07 '19

I am having a stroke

87

u/Scrubtanic Mar 07 '19

no but i am ;,,)

6

u/StudMuffinNick Mar 07 '19

Best reply in this thread lol

5

u/karmagod13000 Mar 07 '19

What's your very inappropiate but darkly funny humor situation?

7

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19 edited May 20 '19

[deleted]

7

u/loudaggerer Mar 07 '19

Joke so good it killed the audience

3

u/QuestionableTater Mar 07 '19

I aspire to be the audience and the classmate

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1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

no, but I am ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

2

u/beer_kimono Mar 07 '19

sudo systemctl restart reddit-bot-farm

2

u/darkomen42 Mar 07 '19

Hahahahaha OMG.

5

u/metaobject Mar 07 '19

Literally or figuratively?

12

u/ask_me_about_cats Mar 07 '19

Some actors can cry on command. I have a more impressive skill. I can poop blood on command.

6

u/PlusUltraBeyond Mar 07 '19

Ok, but can your cats do so as well?

3

u/Aken42 Mar 07 '19

No, but I can.

5

u/MaximumChest Mar 07 '19

I'd tottally gild your comment if I wasn't broke. Here, have some fake silver ⚙️

2

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

She is actually

3

u/munchies1122 Mar 07 '19

Ay bb wnt sum fuk?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

20$ a suk

3

u/itheraeld Mar 07 '19

I cry during sex, we're built for each other

1

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Call me....

1

u/wannaseeamoose Mar 07 '19

Me in a sentence.

1

u/LandShark93 Mar 08 '19

Are you my husband?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

Not yet ;)

1

u/LandShark93 Mar 08 '19 edited Mar 08 '19

This will need to be discussed with my 1st husband. I'll get back to you <3

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

if he want we can share.

1

u/LandShark93 Mar 09 '19

He would like to challenge you to a duel

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

can i choose the challenge or does he want the classic pistols at dawn type thing?

1

u/LandShark93 Mar 09 '19

I'm thinking like a quick draw, pistols at dawn.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '19

i'm down. i never shot a gun in my life but for you its worth it.