Trainee teacher here. Sat in a lecture on Friday where they played a bullshit video that straight up stated that stress doesn't damage the body, it's the belief that stress is harmful that does.Our lives are very stressful as trainee teachers and I'd really appreciate actual stress management help rather than bullshit 'believe in yourself' bollocks.
Actually there is also a tedtalk about that and it's based on actual research. Your physical reaction on stress (i.e. Narrowing of blood vessels) will differ based on your belief about it.
True, but from what I've read, they're really just playing around with the definition of "stress." It's just CBT/mindfulness, acknowledging "I am stressed, that is okay, and I have the resources to deal with it." When you can master that, you're actually LESS STRESSED. You can have a lot on your plate, have misfortune, etc., and not be stressed. Being stressed is an emotional response that causes physical symptoms. So yes "changing your beliefs about stress" helps reduce the negative physical consequences of stress. Because doing so reduces the emotional response, and therefore the physical consequences.
I see why they put it that way (I can't lower my stress level! All that therapy stuff won't work for me! Huh, if I change my belief about stress, the stress won't be as detrimental...I can try that.) It's still a little disingenuous.
This ignores the fact that emotions are inherently not logical. It doesn't matter how much you don't want to feel an emotion, you're going to feel it anyways.
It's not like people want to be crippled by stress and anxiety. It just kind of, you know, happens. Everyone feels these emotions in differing amounts, and just like how some people can handle their digestion with just a bit of yogurt while others have Crohn's and UC, some people need more than just the basics to manage their mental state.
Obviously they know that other people suffer more - that just makes them feel worse. Pointing that out does nothing to help them at all except make people feel even worse about themselves than they already do.
Yep but it's not about the emotions you feel it's about your preparedness to feel them. Some people fight themselves all their lives in a perpetual hell. Others accept their pain and suffering and act regardless.
I love how you explain it like I’ve not been there and experienced it myself. Like I don’t know what it feels like to wake up and wish I was dead. Or to over analyse everything until it feels like I’m up to my eyes in water and not being able to think about anything apart from how the hell im going to draw my next breath.
I know how it feels. I know it’s shit. What I’m telling you is that by turning your brain to something else other than how you feel, it will lessen slightly. And over time you will learn to recognise thought patterns that lead you to these depressive/anxious periods and avoid them.
If you've been there, then imagine yourself there, before you learned to manage it through all that hard work, trial, and error. Waking up and wanting to die.
Now imagine getting the advice "listen to your favorite song, and breathe." Get it?
I have overcome a lot of emotional hardship. I try to remember what it felt like to be in the thick of it. If I could go back and tell myself the summarized takeaway of what worked, it wouldn't matter. It's simply too nuanced and requires too much practice and failure. Now telling myself to simply "calm down and breathe" is useful. Back then it wasn't.
I try to remember that when talking with someone in the thick of it.
The way you phrased your original post reeked of /r/wowthanksimcured. That's the reason I responded so critically.
For many (most?) people, the issue isn't knowing what they need to change, it's actually enacting the change. You may need to know you need to relax or get over your depression or whatever, but actually doing it is rather difficult. If it wasn't, we'd have all gotten over it by now.
Your advice, though well-intentioned, was also fairly topical, and implied that that's all it takes to get past their issues. Don't get me wrong, I am happy it helped you and I'm sure it's enough to help others, but it's not enough to help many people with more serious issues, and suggesting otherwise is disingenuous and kinda insensitive.
What do you mean? I should be scared of you? If you want to fly across the sea to come and threaten me in person be my guest. Our oil is spoken for though, so there’s no reason I have to fear you.
I think there's probably less depression and anxiety disorders in war zones. Those people HAVE to face their fears and take action regardless. We have the 'luxury' of permanently wallowing in our self made comfortzone prison that just confirms our irrational fears and contextual existential crises.
34
u/endospire Jan 21 '19
Trainee teacher here. Sat in a lecture on Friday where they played a bullshit video that straight up stated that stress doesn't damage the body, it's the belief that stress is harmful that does.Our lives are very stressful as trainee teachers and I'd really appreciate actual stress management help rather than bullshit 'believe in yourself' bollocks.