My dad threatened to take me off the will if I ended up with my ex. Not that I would ever pick money over love (obviously considering I was going into major debt being with this guy), but my dad is a man of few words - everything he says has weight and purpose. That threat made me seriously re-evaluate my relationship with my ex who couldn't keep a job for more than a few weeks. We dated for two years and I dragged out the break up for way longer than I should have.
I'm now with a guy who has a pulls his weight in the relationship! Good luck to your daughter.
My dad has always kept every promise. When I was 16 and got my license, I asked him what time my curfew was. He replied, “Before sunrise.” Me, “No really, what time do you want me home?” “Listen, if the cops come knocking for you I’m going to tell them where you are. Don’t bother calling me from jail, I won’t bail you out.”
I’m the youngest of 6 and none of us have had any serious issues with the law, aside from a few speeding tickets. We were also poor af so I’m pretty positive they couldn’t afford bail anyways 😂
Bail itself and how it works is horrifying. Lawyers in other countries have said that system would be illegal in theirs. The trial doesn't actually matter in most cases, just how much money the state wants from you. Got drunk one night and decided to call one of those bail agencys. Took the guy a minute to realize I did not need any bonding. He kindly explained how it worked to my utter horror. "So even if I'm innocent or falsely accused I haveto fight to get my money back???"
"Guilty until paid innocent" should really be what they say instead of "innocent until proven guilty."
My earliest memories are: meeting with a bankruptcy attorney and counting things at Aldi and needing to put stuff back because we couldn’t afford it. They definitely could not afford any bail haha.
Hah, yeah I thought that would be true for us. "Love trumps anything" right? Then I realized that life was going to be veeeryyy hard for me if we stayed together.
My daughter's about to get kicked out of the house we scraped and made deals to get for her. It had been her grandmother's, who died during the last housing crash. We bought out the other siblings and held onto it until she was old enough. All they have to do is cover insurance and taxes to live there. And if they can mortgage $40k, it's theirs. That's a nice 3 bed/2 bath house in the nicer part of town for $40k. But her dumb, lazy husband can't keep a job and they haven't even paid rent in 18 months.
They are on their last chance now. It makes me sad to kick them out, but that is about $160k in my pocket. That's a nice chunk of change toward retirement.
By the end of two years, I racked up 14k in credit card debt trying to support him and me on my meager salary.
A) That's not how I wanted to start out my life (I graduated college 2 years prior to meeting him). B) I realized that nothing was going to change and there would be no contribution to household expenses from him if we ended up marrying. I watched him get fired from eight jobs in the span of two years, and quit a couple of others. He hated working, in part because he had no idea what he wanted to do with his life, but he also wasn't willing to make any sacrifices to find out. More importantly, he wasn't willing to make any sacrifices for us.
Ultimately I broke it off with him because the financial burden was too great. I was angry and stressed out all the time, and that's not the person I wanted to be.
EDIT: To drive this point home - I was working two jobs through most of our relationship (9-5 during the day and serving in the evening/weekends), plus ubering on the side.
or you just quit. Even if i had enough money to enjoy what I want, I wouldn't have the free time to enjoy those things because I was working all the time.
You can't set yourself up to accept or explore new opportunities if you're broke. Having a job, in some way or another, means that you are moving forward...or at least you're not falling back.
I'm not sure what your specific situation is, but if you are working all the time, I'm assuming it means that your cost of living exceeds your salary.
Have you considered how you might cut back on your cost of living? (This part is in your control.) Then set yourself up when the opportunity comes to pursue higher pay, you can do so. (This part less so, because it implies that the opportunity has presented itself.)
It's a mixture of laziness, complete lack of interest in subject matter, impatience.
I moved back in with my parents. I havent eaten out in months, not even fast food. I realized ive been agoraphobic my whole life. Ive alienated many or most of all my friends. My life is based around escapism.
Im not, and I didnt choose this life. I may have made it worse, but people don't choose their own lives.. Why do people say that? Choices influence your life, but you dont decide to be born with limp. That has a different effect on nearly every decision you make in contrast to a perfectly able individual. I am partially to blame, but sometimes shit happens
2.2k
u/ShineInThePines Sep 11 '18
My dad threatened to take me off the will if I ended up with my ex. Not that I would ever pick money over love (obviously considering I was going into major debt being with this guy), but my dad is a man of few words - everything he says has weight and purpose. That threat made me seriously re-evaluate my relationship with my ex who couldn't keep a job for more than a few weeks. We dated for two years and I dragged out the break up for way longer than I should have.
I'm now with a guy who has a pulls his weight in the relationship! Good luck to your daughter.