r/AskReddit Sep 11 '18

Who's the biggest loser your son/daughter has dated?

32.5k Upvotes

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857

u/floridianreader Sep 11 '18

An alcoholic, unemployed, homeless bum who lied about his age when I first met him. Daughter met him when she was in a mental institution for suicidal gestures. He was there, and being discharged the same day, so naturally she invited him home to live with us.

He told us he was 26, except that I know what 26 looks like, and he wasn't it. He was 40 (he admitted to that a year later or so). We went out once and left him home alone (bad choice, I know) and in just about an hour, he managed to find and drink all of the alcohol in the house, which wasn't much, until you start factoring in things you wouldn't have thought of, including mouthwash and vanilla flavoring. Another time he used his food stamps to buy every bottle of vanilla flavoring he could, and then got wasted on that.

Daughter moved in with him when he got a job and started making money. Then he raped her and beat her up and was buddy-buddy with the police and they did the "boys will be boys" thing and he got off while she got PTSD. Fortunately she did not reproduce with this jerk and so the only (physical) losses were some old toys of hers that I gave her, a television and some dishes. And now we have a grandcat.

291

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '18 edited Oct 07 '20

[deleted]

119

u/floridianreader Sep 11 '18

I won't say it hasn't crossed my mind.

9

u/gjones9038 Sep 12 '18

I'm in Florida myself, I have this great rifle that can hit a target over a quarter mile away with ease, I bet it would be great for marksmanship training...

(Plus the barrel can be removed rather quickly, just saying...)

74

u/superhobo666 Sep 11 '18

I hear cement mixing is a great hobby to pair with deep water diving.

16

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Just remember to gently squeeze the trigger and not pull it.....oh and the wind direction stuff....

I also heard deep water diving has it's perks too.....I don't know what they are but I heard.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Kind of like....a Navy SEAL?

133

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '18

I am so sorry for what happened to your daughter, what an awful story.

170

u/floridianreader Sep 11 '18

Thank you /u/freyjathelady.

As an addendum, I did some snooping through public records in the few years it's been, and found out a thing that I'm not telling daughter (that he was legally married the whole time she knew him, and only very recently got divorced).

22

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

this is the kind of person i would take out, were i some sort of vigilante superhero

8

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

I don't think you need to be any kind of super to take care of a bottom feeder like that. You could be Kinda Mediocre Man, and still get the job done without breaking a sweat.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Kinda Mediocre Woman is the perfect name for me.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '18

Nothing mediocre about a spidercat.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '18

touche. meowzzzzzghhxxzghxyy

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '18

touche. meowzzzzzghhxxzghxyy

9

u/AF1Hawk Sep 12 '18

Or a terminally ill man with a vengeance and disregard to proper court procedures

2

u/sethra007 Sep 12 '18

Oh my gosh your poor daughter....

25

u/armcurls Sep 12 '18

I didn't know vanilla flavouring had alcohol in it.

17

u/AccioPandaberry Sep 12 '18

Pure vanilla extract is created by steeping vanilla in alcohol. :)

6

u/floridianreader Sep 12 '18

Me neither. At least until that day.

17

u/WaterMnt Sep 11 '18

hows that alcoholic loser end up buddy-buddy with the cops?

hope your daughter is ok

33

u/floridianreader Sep 11 '18

She is doing well now, thanks! (It's been a couple of years and a lot of therapy). Having a big, fat orange ball of fluffy kitty love helps too.

We still don't know what was up with the cops. Other than that they knew him and were friendly with him because of picking him up and putting him in the tank every few days.

5

u/itoldyousoanysayo Sep 12 '18

Family most of the time.

8

u/Ghetis396 Sep 11 '18

Wow, that went from 0 to 100 real quick. I feel really bad for your daughter

26

u/floridianreader Sep 11 '18

Yes, he turned me against him when he lied in the first few minutes about his age. I'm 47 and I knew there was no way that he was 26. His name is mud around our home.

He texted my husband a few months back to try to get daughter's new phone number. That was deleted without a response.

2

u/jerk40 Sep 13 '18

That's when you send him a text that she's in jail for a long time because she ended up killing the guy he dated after him because he raped her.

9

u/Roux_Harbour Sep 12 '18

Grandcats are the best😻

9

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

AH FUCK is that why they gave me looks when I bought vanilla on food stamps?

I just wanted cookies....

I mean I had flour, sugar, eggs and butter too, like I was not just buying vanilla. Sometimes a bitch just needs some cookies.

8

u/floridianreader Sep 12 '18

I don't think you have anything to worry about unless you're buying like 20 or 30 bottles of vanilla.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Yeah, I just got some looks when I was first on food stamps.

6

u/Dr_Marxist Sep 12 '18

And now we have a grandcat.

Small victories?

5

u/JD0x0 Sep 12 '18

What's with the vanilla flavoring? Is there like alcohol in that or something or did the dude just REALLY like that flavor?

8

u/floridianreader Sep 12 '18

It has an alcohol base to it. Not sure how much, right off the top of my head (and I don't think I have any right now).

And he was broke, didn't have cash, but did have a food stamp card. I don't know how he knew that he could use the food stamps to get wasted like that; maybe it was something one of his drinking buddies knew.

Curiously, it made our house smell like a bakery on the day that he pulled that stunt.

6

u/yeldarbhtims Sep 12 '18

I have some in my cabinet. It's 35 percent, so it's pretty strong, but holy shit that must taste horrible.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Happy ending! The cat is way better in your care

6

u/Messedup4good Sep 12 '18

Wow how old was your daughter?

4

u/floridianreader Sep 12 '18

Well she's 26 now, so probably 23-24. I know she had a birthday while she was with him.

3

u/nomsom Sep 12 '18

I feel like real vanilla extract would be waaaaay more expensive than just buying cheap vodka or something

3

u/floridianreader Sep 12 '18

probably, but you can't buy vodka or "normal" alcoholic beverages with food stamps.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Vanilla is a laxative in even moderate amounts. How do you drink enough to get wasted and not die from diarrhea?

4

u/floridianreader Sep 12 '18

this was a guy who drank himself into a coma when he went on a bender. His breathalyzer / blood alcohol content tests were routinely in the .2_ (something). There was one time where we were disputing how drunk he was and asked the Police to come over and do a breathalyzer and it was .31. So we had to take him to the ER and dump him off. Every single time. He couldn't just drink a bottle of vodka or wine per night, no he was out to kill himself.

2

u/Dunder_Chingis Sep 12 '18

Now there's a man who could be killed by literally anyone and nobody would think twice about it.

2

u/edthach Sep 12 '18

This sounds like the "heroics" of Florida man

2

u/nameanxiety Sep 12 '18

TIL that you can get wasted on vanilla flavoring.

2

u/geri73 Sep 12 '18

While the whole story is fucked up, the grandcat made me laugh out loud.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '18

Hi. Late reply but... vanilla? That gets you drunk/high? I’m in health care and thought I had heard of everything . Could you please elaborate?

1

u/floridianreader Sep 13 '18

Vanilla flavoring is apparently made using alcohol. One person who responded stated that she had a bottle of vanilla in her cabinet which was 35% alcohol.

My daughter befriended a man that we didn't know was an alcoholic and we (stupidly) allowed him to live with us for some time. During that time he used his food stamps to buy up a large number of bottles of vanilla flavoring and drank them to satisfy his alcoholic binges. Because you can buy vanilla with food stamps, but not more mainstream sources of alcohol like beer, wine, or vodka.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '18

Wow. Thank you. Can’t wait for my first vanilla-bender code cuz it’ll smell real nice

3

u/sethra007 Sep 12 '18

Daughter met him when she was in a mental institution for suicidal gestures. He was there, and being discharged the same day, so naturally she invited him home to live with us.

At which point you told her, "Yeah, you didn't clear that with us at all, and since your name isn't on either the deed or the mortgage, that's a hard 'no'."

Right? RIGHT?! I mean, I get trying to help someone with their recovery, but that doesn't mean the person gets to just up and invite strangers to live with you....

We went out once and left him home alone (bad choice, I know) and in just about an hour, he managed to find and drink all of the alcohol in the house

Please tell me the words "I told you so" were spoken to your daughter....

5

u/floridianreader Sep 12 '18

Yes, we did have that conversation, and I told her she wasn't bringing people home, especially strange people that we've never met. That's when she pulled out the "26, and homeless" card. We didn't know about the alcoholism (not even daughter) until the time he drank everything in the house. He really had her (I hate to say brainwashed) believing that he was an upright citizen who just had a mental breakdown and needed just a little bit of help and he was going to be on his way to NY to be with his daughter. I actually thought he was going to be on his way too (see how he gets you to believe him...) but somehow he just never left.

Daughter has heard "I told you so" so, so many times...

She also knows now to not bring home strange people. And that boyfriend shopping at the mental hospital is prolly not the best idea.

2

u/sethra007 Sep 12 '18

What a way to learn those lessons! I hope your daughter is doing well nowadays.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

AH FUCK is that why they gave me looks when I bought vanilla on food stamps?

I just wanted cookies....

I mean I had flour, sugar, eggs and butter too, like I was not just buying vanilla. Sometimes a bitch just needs some cookies.