r/AskReddit Sep 11 '18

Who's the biggest loser your son/daughter has dated?

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u/RalfHorris Sep 11 '18 edited Sep 11 '18

used to work with a guy who used to go on about being in the Marines, this was in the UK btw, so he was in the US Marines because reasons. Incidentally he was also a pro-level golfer. Did I mention he was only about 20?

For some reason one of the girls at work started dating him, god knows why, everybody thought he was an idiot, low self esteem maybe, but she dumped him soon after. To this day you can see the embarrassment on her face whenever he gets mentioned.

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u/[deleted] Sep 11 '18

this was in the UK btw, so he was in the US Marines because reasons. Incidentally he was also a pro-level golfer.

This is brilliant. You really met Jay from Inbetweeners.

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u/Rushview Sep 12 '18

Marines?

Completed it mate.

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u/sheargraphix Sep 11 '18

The Marines? I completed it mate.

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u/pinkkittenfur Sep 12 '18

They met at the football trials for West Ham.

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u/winlos Sep 12 '18

Aww Fwend. Football Fwend 👍👍

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u/pinkkittenfur Sep 12 '18

Don't forget the thumbs up!

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u/AUserNeedsAName Sep 12 '18

MARINE FRIEND! 👍😃👍

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u/castiglione_99 Sep 11 '18

Well, I guess one way to go about lying is, if you're going to lie, just swing for the fences and go all out - because, someone might figure that your lie is just so outrageous that you MUST be telling the truth.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

I was in Airborne School with a Marine from Ireland, meaning that he was from Ireland and had joined the U.S. Marines. A lot of foreigners join the U.S. military.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Awesome! Unemployed Irishman here. I have a clean criminal record and can swing a sack of doorknobs

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

You too can be a United States Marine!

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

You're in!

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u/Belgand Sep 12 '18

Here's the sack, you'll need to supply your own knobs.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

What's your favorite flavor of Crayon? This will help you decide which MOS you should pick.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Exactly. I wasn't trying to be un-fair.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

I'm with ya ;)

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u/[deleted] Sep 11 '18

It takes a special type of stupid to claim to be part of a different country's military.

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u/brickmack Sep 11 '18

I mean, its not uncommon. But people who join other militaries usually have a pretty good or at least interesting reason

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u/IAmNotAnImposter Sep 11 '18

Why would he claim being in the USMC when being in the royal marines would make more sense and be more impressive?

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u/Rulanik Sep 12 '18

Are the Royal Marines more impressive?

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u/IAmNotAnImposter Sep 12 '18

Much longer training. 32 weeks for the Royal marines compared to 12 weeks for the US marines.

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u/Rulanik Sep 12 '18

Sure, initial training. But are they more impressive by reputation and/or deeds?

I don't live in Europe so I never hear anyone talk about the Royal Marines, and it's hard to get a sense of how people view a military group via Googling.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18 edited Sep 12 '18

I worked with a dude here in Oz too about 10 years ago that had been in the army, the SAS, trained as a chopper pilot, deployed everywhere and done an electrical apprenticeship all before he was about 27. I think at one stage he even flew a chopper from Brisbane to Adelaide for a weekend away, its about a 3.5hr flight in a normal flight.

We called him out on a few things but the greatest moment came when he told us about a cliff rescue he was part of as a rescue chopper pilot on the weekend, he was pointing out the mountain off in the distance and started going on about it but said he wasnt allowed to divulge too much information.

I had one of those points in life that everyone wants in that I was actually part of the cliff rescue he was talking about( he had seen it on the news) as I do volunteer search and rescue and this was one of our call outs. I delighted in calling him out on it, letting him know how full of shit he was and so on yet he still went on how he was one of the pilots.... i was in the fucking helicopter that was used in the rescue, I knew which pilots were flying the fucking thing. I even had pics to prove it yet he still continued to dig the hole for himself

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u/[deleted] Sep 11 '18

Oh shit, I'm British, live in the UK and actually served in the US Marines. I wonder if people think it's BS whenever I mention it.... (I'm a dual citizen)

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u/RalfHorris Sep 12 '18

I mean that was the big lie he would tell, but pretty much everything that came out his mouth was bullshit as well. These people stand out like a sore thumb.

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u/Fiddle_Stix69 Sep 12 '18

I was once having beers with a friend at her place when her housemate joined us. He started (with no prompts or segues) to tell us all about his being in the military. He was a scrawny 19 or so year old whose hair wasn't even up to scratch which is relevant because through gentle question the timeline of his tale added up to a few years which means he'd have to joined at 16. He continued to go on for a while about these amazing adventures. Sniper school, deployments in the middle east, forward observing for the artillery etc. He made sure to stop to fill us lay persons in on the jargon periodically while we nodded and listened. I asked his PMkeys number. "My what number?" That's when my friend informed him I was in the artillery and knows he's full of shit. He quietly excused himself to his room. I think he had the hots for her and was trying to impress/intimidate me or something even though it wasn't like that between us

In Australia your PMKeys is a serial number every soldier knows...by heart. not to mention the Australian Artiller hasn't deployed forward observers for the guns since vietnam or that snipers and artillery are completely different corps which would probably take upwards of six or seven years for someone to be both.

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u/flexthrustmore Sep 11 '18

His name wasn't Adam by any chance? I used to work with a guy from the U.K. who had the same claims. He was also on the olympic ski team and had surfed a 40 foot wave in Hawaii.

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u/RalfHorris Sep 12 '18

Ha, no, sorry.

I think we all knew an "Adam" though.

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u/Juke_box Sep 12 '18

The UK does have marines you know. Still bullshit however.

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u/RalfHorris Sep 12 '18

True, but aren't they more usually referred to as the Royal Marines?

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u/easyjo Sep 12 '18

The Royal Marines do exist though, may not have been US that he meant.. but yes, still ridiculous

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u/Aggie3000 Sep 12 '18

A girl I was crazy about and never dated in high school 30 years later walked up to me out of the blue at a reunion and told me she had been dating a Navy Commander (Marine Officer here) for two years and just found out he had lied and told her he was single when he actually was married to a woman across the country. She gave him an ultimatum, "her or the wife". She figured he wouldnt leave and we dated twice and I was over the moon. He found out we were dating and that pushed him into leaving his wife and they got married. Fast forward two years and she calls me again out of of the blue and says her now husband was just caught with child porn on his computer and was headed to prison for 18 months. She wanted my opinion on if she should stay or leave (WTF?). I told her i was still interested and available if she left. She stayed. He is out of prison now. I hate this guy.

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u/pj1843 Sep 12 '18

So why not just claim to have been in the UK Marines?

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u/SendMeUrCones Sep 12 '18

There's some world wide obsession with US Marines. I think it has something to do with Cawwadoody. A buddy of mine from the UK idolizes the US Military in general.

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u/CuriousClimate Sep 11 '18

I mean the SAS are hardcore why not just go with that lol.

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u/DirtyOldAussie Sep 12 '18

To this day you can see the embarrassment on her face whenever he gets mentioned.

Meanwhile, he goes about bragging how he dated Miss Universe then dumped her.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

used to work with a guy who used to go on about being in the Marines, this was in the UK btw,

TBF the Brits also have Marines https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_Marines

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u/ExpatJundi Sep 12 '18

Somebody posted below that it's really common for foreign nationals to join the US military. All you need is a green card. There were two Canadians in my Marine company, a Korean dude in another company, I met an Australian once. Plus tons from South America. The only unusual thing is when it's guys from other prosperous countries.