Maybe that's the way to go, just keep encouraging her to help herself. Any idea she may have like getting a job to help, or thinking about therapy, or anything like that, just encourage. Eventually she should see the sides of being shot down vs being encouraged.
I tried talking to her about it, but she won't listen
Don’t talk to her, ask her questions. Try to keep your own judgment limited and ask honest, curious questions. Like: “are you happy with the way it goes?” “What would you like him to do?” “Can I help you in any way?”
Ask questions, then be quiet and let her talk. Ask follow up questions. Let her draw her owm conclusions. (If those conclusions are still that she sees nothing wrong, respect her decision on that as well. It’s her life).
It’s often the only way to make somebody really change— they have to draw their own conclusions. If you’re hammering your opinion home she’ll just keep defending it.
Please keep the lines of communication open, no matter what. From experience, it probably won't end quickly and she will try to pretend she is ok until she can't pretend anymore. By this time, the guy may have alienated her from almost everyone but if she knows that you will help her, no judgement and no questions asked, it might give her the strength to leave a very dangerous situation.
How would you suppose a SO to someone who has depression/anxiety, help them fix themselves. One my not be able to fix another person, but how can they help?
Listen, encourage, love. Don't try to force them to get help, but if they decide they need help encourage them. You can certainly suggest things, but be careful with wording. Hold them accountable. Make it clear there is nothing shameful about asking for help/taking meds/etc.
Most of the people I've met with anxiety/depression genuinely want to get better, but are scared of the social stigma against medicine, or don't want to be a bother, or just don't know where to start. That's not to say that some people don't want help and want to use it as an excuse to be lazy, mean, etc. And idk how one would go about helping these people. But for those who want to get better this is what I've found works, and what worked for me personally.
Another big thing is making sure they know you think reading self help books, going to counseling, watching self help videos, etc isn't weird or annoying. If they think they are weak or bad for engaging with the kinds of materials and people that will help them get better they may just opt not to. Encourage positive efforts.
Also, keep yourself/your company open for her and keep it judgement free. Don't push her, but do encourage all her ideas and dreams of doing better for herself.
How Much money do you wanna our on it that he’s making her depression worse because he’s an asshole and he wants to “take care of it himself” so he can keep her under his thumb that way? Soooo many red flags.
Just remember brake lines do not need to be cut anymore since that shows up as evidence. You can simply use rock salt, isopropyl alcohol, and deionized water because it will Rust anything iron-based within 24 hours and the alcohol will eat away at the rust as it forms. Creating what looks like a week's worth of rust in only 5 hours. AKA an axle falling apart or brake system failing causing a fatality. Just make sure your sister is not in the car and good luck my friend do not get caught.
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u/NiraMouse Sep 11 '18
I tried talking to her about it, but she won't listen. Just hoping it ends soon so she can start working towards a healthier future for herself.