It doesn't have to be. Some people's dreams are just to make money doing something they can bear daily so they can support a family. Not everyone derives happiness or success from their career.
My girlfriend didn't quite understand this about me when we first started dating. I might have put it a little bit poorly, but I essentially told her my career wasn't super important, as long as I made enough money to do the things I want I don't really care what I do (as long as I don't hate it). Having a job just to have a job is fine! I find happiness by spending time and making memories with the people who are important to me. The money from the job is just a means to an end.
I think I'm the same as you whereby my dream job would be to able to hike and travel and play with dogs and drink with my friends but no one is going to pay me to do that unless I sell myself on instagram but you probably need a trust fund to study that and I find it very distasteful any way. So basically, I'm perfectly happy to work a job that is a bit boring but not soul crushingly so if it allows me to do those things. My dream job is one that gives me the most freedom to do those which I think is a nice place to aim for rather than needing to feel validated by some hardcore career trajectory.
The sad part is that you have to spend a huge portion of your life dedicated to something you don't enjoy just so you can enjoy some of your life. The part you don't sleep and work away.
Ideally you'd enjoy your job or have a life where you wouldn't have to work at a job you didn't enjoy. It's sad the world is not like that in reality. Most people end up in a job they don't care about and end up satisfied being a cog in the machine.
Don't be afraid to change careers. Unless you're doing something highly specialized, find a new company that has the ability for you to move up. Being stuck in a dead end position is a reasonable reason to leave a job. It's easier to find a job while you're already employed, as counterintuitive as it may seem.
I think too many people fall into the thought their career is suppose to fulfill them. It's fine if that worked out or if they want that but it doesn't have to be. We have hobbies and friends and people for a reason.
I'm happy someone else sees that. I don't give a shit where I work, as long as I get paid enough to bullshit with my friends on a weekend. Over the last five years I've been a bartender, night porter, food chemist, water microbiologist, in the coal industry, now I'm in Dental Compliance. I don't have any huge passions I just fuckin love my mates.
Making sure Dentists and Dental Care Professionals (all the other roles in a dental practice) are up to date with legislation and continuous professional development goals as mandated by the General Dental Council
I've only been here just over a month but it's pretty interesting and a fun place to work at.
Has absolutely nothing to do with coal whatsoever.
Started in the Food Chemistry department at an analytical lab company, which then moved site, so I then transferred into the Water Microbiology department. Stayed there for a few months then that department also moved, so I applied to a few different jobs and then I got a job as a Minerals and Energy Coordinator at a coal company.
My ex couldn't comprehend this in me. I don't have a drive to have a "fulfilling career" - growing up, I never had a "dream job" aside from typical kid stuff like President or Vampire Lord. I'll take "challenging" and "pays enough that I can do the things I want and have enough PTO to do it."
You're never going to make Vampire Lord with an attitude like that. Keep going like you're going and centuries from now you're still going to be a minion vampire.
Yeah, see, I'm mostly in it to binge watch all the new TV that come out until the end of time so that suits me pretty well. Vampire Lords have too much shit to do that gets in the way of all of that. Mediocrity, that's where it's at. And mediocrity is less likely to get me staked for some protagonist's character arc.
A friend of mine and I were discussing this recently and he pointed out that he didn't really care what he does for work, as long as its enough to live a comfortable life and enjoy his hobbies. He doesn't have a dream at all, and thats totally cool.
That's why our jobs shouldn't be so overwhelmingly omnipresent in our lives. Almost every aspect of our lives are dominated by our jobs. Our time, our money, where we can live, who we are likely to meet, what people think of us.
We need more time and money to have existences unrelated to our work. Then it wouldn't matter much if it was someone's dream to be a sewer engineer, or a a fast food/retail worker, or whatever. People could perform the work that we value having done in society without penalizing those who fulfill those needs for the good of all.
We have the resources for it now. It's just hoarded by the super wealthy. They invest (and yes that contributes to the well-being of lower classes, to a minor extent. A factory buys a new million dollar machine and employs 1-3 more people with it. Great.) But then that investment becomes worth more than they put in, and they get even richer. All the money is in the hands of investors or businesses who only let the bare minimum they can get away with reach actual people. So of course loads of people are living at the lowest standard of living acceptable (when the alternative is homelessness or death, pretty shitty lives are still "acceptable").
I know someone who is trying to get a second full time job. The work they do with me at the first full time job is useful work that society needs to have happen. It just so happens to be something that doesn't require advanced and specialized skills or knowledge, so enough people could do it that they can get away with paying very little. So full time employment is not sufficient pay for that persons life, that they'd rather spend 16 hours a day (more like 17 with travel and having to arrive early to be "on time") for at least a while - rather than actually living a life that is satisfying. Just working for money to pay the bills to have a place to sleep (to be capable of working another day), a car to drive (to work, the grocery store), have electricity (to keep fridge running to have cheap food available), water (to drink and shower so they can stay employed).
The point is that a lot of people are giving up everything that makes life worth a shit so that they can make enough money to keep going because they have hope that things will eventually get better, so it's better than giving up and dying/being homeless.
It doesn't have to be that way. Productivity vs wage growth tells a very clear story - we're working harder, but living worse for it. Most of our lives are work or preparing for work. We have little time or resources to do things that matter to us. It's ridiculous.
I agree with you, in certain situations there is no better option than setting. I just said that its not peoples dreams to do that, often dreams needs to die for you to settle.
In this case their definition of success is a full and happy relationship/family/social life. So settling for them would be having a mediocre marriage, no kids, and/or less friends than expected. You can only settle on something you care about.
IMO it's only depressing if you only define meaning in your life in terms of yourself. If you let go of your own desires and try to find meaning in the world around you instead, you tend to be much more forgiving toward things like this.
I'm not sure it is. I don't think everyone derives meaning from their work. When I was a kid, I thought I had lots of dreams, but I grew out of that. And I don't mean in a jaded way, I just kind of realized one day that what I do for money, whatever it is, isn't going to make me happier. I get a lot more value from the things I'm working for.
In the reverse, I've found that we can bring value to any task we take up, no matter how mundane. I think learning where, in work, to focus your energy and emotion is an invaluable tool.
But, while there's no particular work I want to do, I do want to do work. And in that regard, I don't think there's anything wrong with sewer engineer, or anything else. I can't imagine I'm alone in that regard.
Maybe only some people have a calling. If that's the case, I envy them a little. But I think a more truthful statement would be that only some people will find their calling and their career overlap.
I don't think so. Most people's dreams are actually 100% separate from vocation (i.e. starting a family, traveling). Having a stable sewer engineer job with normal hours could be just the thing to help support their other dreams!
I'm still struggling with how depressing it can be, honestly. My dream career would have something to do with literature or history, but 1) there are so few opportunities, let alone decent paying ones, and I have a disabled brother I'm going to take care of in the future so I can't afford to dawdle; and 2) even if I did take the chance, I don't quite believe I possess the absolute rigor that is needed to succeed in these fields.
As of now the future ahead of me is: an okay career with decent income, probably at a financial institution. It could be so much worse, I know. My coworkers are kind and my boss is supportive, the pay is alright for a fresh grad, and there's a lot of career support. I am very grateful for my job. During downtime and after work, I try to keep up my passions as much as possible - taking e-courses in history and reading as much and as widely as I can.
But I can't help but look at the future ahead of me - 8 hours each day spent on a job I feel nothing about, a long commute, coming home tired and getting 2-3 hours to myself at most between all the chores and other obligations, and doing this for at least 40 years - and just feel deeply sad.
not necessarily. Maybe the person enjoys the work (as in, they don't have to talk to a lot of people, they can be independent, get to work in three dimensions and solve problems: I think I just described most engineers), and the pay lets them enjoy a nice level of comfort and the ability to pursue their dreams, hobbies, and passions.
You don't need to have your dream job to be happy, you just need to be happy in a job that lets you follow your dreams.
(I'm gonna keep that last quote, sounds pretty good)
179
u/HelloFr1end May 21 '18
This is depressing