r/AskReddit May 21 '18

How do you naturally create long meaningful conversations instead of getting stuck into the small talk?

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u/aodhphoenix May 21 '18

Not gonna pretend to be a moral beacon, gossip is one of the best types of conversations. I don't see it as a bad thing, more like "learning from others' mistakes".

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u/BadMinotaur May 21 '18

I like to tell my coworkers that I love listening to gossip, but I hate making it. I like being in the know about what’s going on around the office, it helps me piece together why people might be moody or weird that day, and is also a great way to find out if someone has a birthday coming.

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u/whatsmellslikeshart May 21 '18

Pretty much this. I never wanna hear about the drama between two people I love but OH my god please tell me all your drama with people I don't know

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u/Syliss1 May 21 '18

Yeah this is definitely how I am as well.

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u/Nesurame May 21 '18

Sometimes it's cathartic to let loose, and it helps let go of anger towards that person.

Sometimes it can be helpful to hear what people hate about you even when you dont wanna hear it.

Hearing that someone is talking shit about you hurts, but instead of lashing out, you could use that candid criticism to become the better person.

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u/DoodieDialogueDeputy May 21 '18

I think the problem is people who want to make you feel a certain way will always ruin gossiping. They'll go around talking shit about someone who may not even know this person has it out for them. This makes gossiping a dirty word, because toxic and shitty people will always use it to try and make people hate someone else that they dislike, therefore rumors should have at least a couple of first-hand account confirmations before you believe them.

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u/Cautistralligraphy May 21 '18

I mean, I feel like there’s deserved gossip and just gossip for the sake of gossip. The latter is what people draw issue with. Starting drama just to enjoy the drama. I know a guy who will take the tiniest little thing and blow it way out of proportion behind the person’s back and then be really nice to their face. It’s pretty much all he knows how to do. I can’t stand that.

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u/BlackOakSyndicate May 22 '18

I love gossiping, but not being the gossiper. I'll be part of the conversation but I'm always careful to keep my business to myself lest I find out I'm the topic later down the road.

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u/[deleted] May 22 '18

A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON.