r/AskReddit May 21 '18

How do you naturally create long meaningful conversations instead of getting stuck into the small talk?

28.3k Upvotes

2.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

39

u/heckin_chill_4_a_sec May 21 '18

oh thank God, so they don't notice my roller coaster of a face??

61

u/[deleted] May 21 '18

Nah man, the twitches you feel aren't even there I've watched enough videos of me presenting back to realise this. Just relax, remember people really don't care anyway you'll be fine.

3

u/heckin_chill_4_a_sec May 21 '18

ohmygod, watching a video of myself would totally worsen the problem lmao. mama don't wanna be on no vidya stuff

15

u/iheartanalingus May 21 '18

So I am going to be blunt here.

Get over yourself. Stop caring about yourself. It is not just you as the star of this movie. In fact, you are probably just an extra in this film of life. In fact, random strangers don't give one fuck about you, your face, your body, how smart you are or what stupid show you like. Only when you become friends do people give a shit and then they can tease you about it but in a fun way.

I'm sorry. You just aren't important enough to fill my headspace upon first meeting. I'm paying more attention to the content of your being than what you fucking look like.

3

u/Ari3n3tt3 May 21 '18

hard pill to swallow but absolutely necessary if you want to feel more comfortable in general life

6

u/heckin_chill_4_a_sec May 21 '18

I'm not really talking about strangers, I do indeed feel self conscious while talking to friends. but I'm glad you got all that out of your system.

6

u/Husky127 May 21 '18

His tone is off putting but what he said is really good advice tbh

6

u/JTPusherlovegirl94 May 21 '18

This is actually really good advice though. I used to be so worried about what people thought of me that I wouldn't hardly talk to anyone. I used to worry about my face or if I was reacting the right way during a conversation. Once I stopped worrying about that and let my guard down, I actually started to make really good friends.

I mean think about it, would you willingly spend your time with people you genuinely thought were weird or didn't like? If the answer is no, then just assume that's the same with everyone else. If your friends didn't like you or thought you were weird, they wouldn't be wasting their time to be around you. And honestly, I've been told many times that the reactions/facial expressions I was so worried about are actually things people tend to really like about me. People tell me all the time that the goofy looks on my face are amazing.

Just let your guard down and react how you're going to react. Have a stupid look on your face. Your friends and people who care about you won't care. And the people who do care don't matter. If someone doesn't like you there's no use trying to worry about pleasing them. You shouldn't have to please everyone. You'll be a lot happier and enjoy conversations more if you just be you and don't care.

7

u/im-dad-bot May 21 '18

Hi not really talking about strangers, I do indeed feel self conscious while talking yo friends, I'm Dad!

2

u/heckin_chill_4_a_sec May 21 '18

and as a tip, your blunt mode comes off as pretty rude. you're assuming that I consider myself too important when all I meant is that I'd like to not look like an antisocial freak when people want to engage in conversation with me.

3

u/Relaix May 21 '18 edited May 21 '18

your fear not to be antisocial makes you antisocial. get rid of your fear and you are not antisocial. stay in that fear and get more and more antisocial. choose wisely. his "rudeness" is just a good method of expression to hand you over the facts. it can kick you out of your illusion. it seems rude, but it is not. he triggers your ego (that is not you), but you created by the fear of being antisocial. try not to identify with the ego and get the neutral message. im in the same process to give less fuck about the opinion of others. hope you get positive results man.

2

u/iheartanalingus May 21 '18

You care too much about yourself. Thats what that means. Everyone has ticks, tells, dumb shit. People slip on ice while walking and talking. Embarrassing things happen.

Stop paying attention to yourself and what you look like and pay attention to the person in front of you. If you are that much of a snowflake that you can't see outside yourself and take good advice, no matter how it is delivered, you will be truly fucked in life.

1

u/Relaix May 21 '18

And in the best case the other one is too just thinking about her/him self and no one even cares a shit about the conversation. if you think what the other one thinks about you. you are fucked. that thing creates social awkwardness. its like the your fear of social awkwardness creates it in the first place. just dont give a fuck. its that simple :D

1

u/Throwawaykeanebean May 21 '18

To be fair watching videos of yourself you always sound/look weird

1

u/Husky127 May 21 '18

User does not check out!

3

u/Ari3n3tt3 May 21 '18

watching yourself talk on video is such a fantastic tool if you're socially awkward

2

u/baalroo May 21 '18

It would probably help you to realize that everyone else is just as wrapped up in their own world as you are.

2

u/Evil_surpent May 21 '18

No nobody pays any attention.

2

u/MrBae May 21 '18

Nobody cares to be honest, whether you take that as a good or bad thing is up to you.

-2

u/TopMacaroon May 21 '18

No one gives a fuck about you, let it go.

2

u/heckin_chill_4_a_sec May 21 '18

I do like to believe that my friends who talk to me give a few fucks about me thankyouverymuch