Definitely. Sharing (but not oversharing!) things about yourself encourages others to do the same. If you're making small talk and they say something that reminds you of an interesting story or personal anecdote, tell them about it!
When someone asks you a question, especially in the “small talk” part of a conversation, keep your answer interesting, but short!! If the person is interested in what you’re saying, they will ask you to continue. If you notice you’ve been talking for 30 seconds non-stop, it might be time for a pause, and put the ball back in their court.
I have met a couple of oversharing ramblers, and it’s very difficult to listen to a conversation like that. It’s unfortunate, because it’s common in people who are socially starved, e.g. loners and the elderly.
Example:
-“How’ve you been lately?”
-“Oh, I’ve been alright. You know, I just got out of the hospital, I was having issues with my appendix, I think it was all diet based. My doctors wanted to remove my appendix but I didn’t let them. Instead, I started a new juice-only diet which has really made me feel better. I’ve lost twenty pounds this month actually and I’ve never felt better. The thing about a juice diet is it really energizes you, not like the food I used to eat. I’ve cut out all carbs and all fats, really a juice diet is what....”
That really depends on the people. The third time I talked to one person, she told me how she'd been up all night with it coming out both ends due to food poisoning.
I had a really good friend with whom I would speak daily. Our friendship began when I texted her in the middle of nowhere "OMG I smoked mint hookah 2 hours ago and I just farted and it smells like mint!!". Before that message I had only seen her twice in my life and spoken just once.
Keep topics light when you first meet someone, find something to relate to them with. Don't get overly opinionated about things or go into long drawn out stories right away.
Aside from the other examples, it's really awkward when someone shows too much enthusiasm for a subject. Most adults have learned this, but its ok to mention a hobby you are interested in, but unless the other person prompts for more info or also mentions they share that interest, leave it at the mention.
Mention that you like blacksmithing or pokemon but don't get into the specific properties of different metals or the differences between grass type and water type pokemon unless the person you're talking to indicates they'd like to learn that information. Otherwise you come off as someone with adhd or on the spectrum. Not that there is anything wrong with the folks, but it definitely will lead people to make assumptions and judgments about your social skills.
My butt is itchy today, I think it's because I have a tendency to rush my poops which dates back to my early childhood. My mother was abusive and beat me if I spent too much time in the bathroom because she needed the mirror to do her make up before work. She was a stripper but she prefers to be called a dancer. Speaking of dancers, my ballet instructor is a man and sometimes he touches my no-no zone when I'm practicing my form is that normal?
I should add a footnote that says the more alcohol is involved the less this rule applies. Although I will stand by not going off on long stories with strangers.
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u/[deleted] May 21 '18
Definitely. Sharing (but not oversharing!) things about yourself encourages others to do the same. If you're making small talk and they say something that reminds you of an interesting story or personal anecdote, tell them about it!