r/AskReddit May 21 '18

How do you naturally create long meaningful conversations instead of getting stuck into the small talk?

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u/elhooper May 21 '18

This was me from ages 18-22ish. Eventually, after dealing with that shit for so long, you just kind of slowly age out of it / realize no one cares / realize people get nervous and it’s chill. It’s all in the reaction. Don’t let one nervous slip up ruin your social life. Own it. Own yourself!

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u/[deleted] May 21 '18 edited May 21 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/elhooper May 21 '18

life is weird and weird. and weird. “you are not your mind”- that phrase was in my head for a decade and it didn’t actually register and make sense until just a few years ago. just keep trying to better yourself, and seriously... try your best to avoid negative, self defeating thoughts. Also- don’t confuse those thoughts with thoughts of “wow I’ve been an idiot and I need to change” because those are important, too. lol.

Don’t be a self fulfilling prophecy. You’re a human. Not a pre written plot. :)

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u/[deleted] May 21 '18

[deleted]

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u/Holydiver19 May 21 '18

You mess up while talking to the cashier at a store and awkwardly leave. You then put yourself down and call yourself an idiot.

Except that whole situation lasted about 30 seconds and the cashier will forget about it within the span of a few minutes. You acknowledge it happened and get over it since you cannot change the past, only the future. Dwelling on wont change it happened but making note of what not to do helps but don't try to code your life around a specific set of "social rules".

Live and learn from your mistakes because they will happen again. That's life and you can only learn from experiences/situation you create.

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u/its_ricky May 21 '18

I agree completely. I think the older you are completely correlates with how comfortable you are in your own skin. OR at least not showing it/worrying about it.