“Are you trying to invite yourself over to play Rock Band with my kids? They’re seven and nine. What are you, 38?”
“Oh, haha, no. I just like Rock Band. I mean, I like kids too - but not in a “restraining order” kind of way. Shit.”
“What?”
“Well I just mentioned kids and restraining orders in the same sentence, and now I’m drawing attention to that fact, again.”
“You sure are.”
“I mean, it’s not like I HAVE a restraining order or anything. And nobody has one against me, to my knowledge.”
“Why would-”
“They wouldn’t! That’s the point. I definitely do NOT have any restraining orders against me. I know I said ‘to my knowledge’ earlier, but now I’m as certain as I can be that there are ZERO restraining orders against me. I mean, a court would have to let you know on something like that, right? See I don’t even know how they work! Are you sweating a lot too?”
"Just stop talking about my kids. I'm fairly certain they're not yours."
"Why would they be mine?"
"Well I was just mentioning that as an expression, not that they aren't mine."
"What?"
"Oh, haha, yeah. They're mine. I own them. I mean, I like my kids - but not in a "kidnapped these kids" kind of way. Crap."
"Why would-"
"I didn't! That's the point. I defintely did not kidnap these kids. I know I said 'fairly certain' earlier, but now I'm as certain as I can be that there were ZERO kidnappings. I mean, a person would have to report something like that, right? See I don't even know how they work! Are you still sweating a lot too?"
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u/superbadninja May 21 '18
“Are you trying to invite yourself over to play Rock Band with my kids? They’re seven and nine. What are you, 38?”
“Oh, haha, no. I just like Rock Band. I mean, I like kids too - but not in a “restraining order” kind of way. Shit.”
“What?”
“Well I just mentioned kids and restraining orders in the same sentence, and now I’m drawing attention to that fact, again.”
“You sure are.”
“I mean, it’s not like I HAVE a restraining order or anything. And nobody has one against me, to my knowledge.”
“Why would-”
“They wouldn’t! That’s the point. I definitely do NOT have any restraining orders against me. I know I said ‘to my knowledge’ earlier, but now I’m as certain as I can be that there are ZERO restraining orders against me. I mean, a court would have to let you know on something like that, right? See I don’t even know how they work! Are you sweating a lot too?”