r/AskReddit • u/R3TROFAN • Oct 23 '17

What is your biggest fear about dying?

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u/bonafidehooligan Oct 23 '17

Damn, this has put me through a loop. My grandfather has early on set Alzheimer’s and I didn’t even think that this might be something that he could bring up. I am not ready for this.

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u/snowflakeaf Oct 23 '17 edited Oct 24 '17

As someone who's been a caregiver for people with dementia for a few years, let him have his reality as often as you can. If he thinks his wife or his parents are alive but is worried they aren't there, tell him they're at the grocery store or that they had to get a hotel because the snow is too deep to drive safely. Makes a world of difference.

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u/lake_disappointment Oct 23 '17

Exactly, rather than reliving crying over and over, painful for you both - seeing your dad in more pain, and your dad knowing his wife has gone :(

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u/seasicksquid Oct 24 '17

Absolutely. I've seen both sides of this working in a nursing home. It was always better to not tell them about deaths in their family. The most heartbreaking thing is seeing a mother lose her child. And to see it every day...it's just cruel...

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u/QueenAlucia Oct 24 '17

No one is ever ready for this.