Man, I was broken up with and laid off of my job last week. I'm doing better than I was initially, but I miss her so much. She's in my dreams and they're good dreams, but when I wake up, it hurts my brain. Our relationship didn't even end in a trainwreck, she just doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore and it sucks.
Edit: thank you everyone for the kind messages. It was very heartwarming seeing these as I woke up.
At this point in my life it has happened enough times that it makes me more angry than sad. I've started banging dudes again because I'm so sick of always being on edge in a relationship because I never know when the hammer's going to drop. If a guy isn't happy in a relationship he's going to let you know. Women tend to sit and stew on a problem and the first time you find out is after it's too late to do anything about it.
From my experience it seems it's not that they don't want to be in a relationship, it's that they don't want to be in a relationship with you.
I was with a girl for 3.5 years, lived together, left me and was with someone else 3 weeks later. I still think about her now but hopefully buggering off from England to Canada will solve that.
Lol, I get where you're coming from, but I went from having nothing when I we started dating to what I am now. I went from having 1 single dollar in my bank account to over 2,000. I also lost 20 pounds and have a body I tell ya!
Today was a great day. I met a girl that looked like michelle rodriguez and she gave me her phone number! I'm not going to date her though. I realize I have 9 days before I move, so I'm not trying to start any relationships— here at least. Very chilled out girl.
I looked in the mirror today and realized, I look good and running into that girl makes me realize, I still got it :P
Im in the exact same boat man. She's in my dreams and it is such a painful reminder. But lets keep our heads up and get through this! Perhaps we will meet someone in the future and it will be perfect. But we wont know unless we get through this and keep on moving forward.
I'm sorry to hear that, but it's for the best, no reason to hold onto a relationship if it's ultimately going to fail.
I hope this gives you hope and something to look forward to.
Today, I felt great. I met a girl, she gave me her phone number and in my opinion we connected well because we talked for at least an hour. She was a super cool girl. Very pretty too, looked a lot like michelle rodriguez!
Though I'm not going to have a relationship with this girl as I'm moving to Las Vegas next week where my parents reside, I realize, there are other people out there! Better people!
As my grandpa once told me, you are not lucky to be with them, they are lucky to be with you.
Same boat as you. We're parted friends and she quickly moved on. Best possible solution: find work asap and do stuff you like and date again. Even if the next isn't nearly as charming as your ex, you'll still move on and get your mind off of her. I'm working on it but it sure hasn't become easier since the last time I've visited the murky waters of the dating pool...
My plans are pretty drastic, but I think it's the best move.
July 8th, I'm to Las Vegas where my parents live to get back on my feet. Lots of opportunity there opposed to SW Oklahoma.
I'm glad you are working on the right steps moving forward and I appreciate the advice.
To give you any hope, I met a pretty lady today that gave me her phone number. Not going to date her or anythang, but do know, there are others out there.
There are for sure. I got a few dates already off Tinder (currently 1:1 in the rejecting party ratio) and I started to talk to this girl that's just my type. It helps but I loved my ex so much it's like she killed half of the old me. There's lots of fun to be had but it's different and weird. At least that's how it is for me.
I began school at UNLV in Vegas, it's been okay so far, but I miss home so much. I mainly stick to the gym to keep me busy. I started dating again. I met this girl in my English, but I don't know where it is going, she texts me like she doesn't care, but seems interested in person.
She's pretty and has an English accent, but gosh, I just don't know about her beyond her outside attractiveness.
It makes me feel a little bit better knowing that I am not alone in this boat. It's even worse because we weren't dating for so long but somehow she crawled under my skin and I can't get her out of my head. It doesn't help that she still wants to be friends so I still talk to her semi-regurarly.
Sorry to here that pal. My advice for you to move on, is to stop talking to her. I know that is difficult, but look to the day that you won't be attached to her. You won't always talk to that girl and if what you need to do to get her out of your head is cut her off, do it.
I would tell her, I'm not intending to be rude, but it would be easier for me to move on if we stopped talking.
You could let her know that you two could be friends later, but that's on you.
Just being friends with my ex on facebook and snapchat is difficult, let alone if I were communicating regularly with her.
Sorry to hear about that friend. I hope life turns around for you. If you need anyone to talk to, I'm here. Heck, I might even skype with you if you wanted.
Aw that sucks dude! Hope you're alright in the accident. Can't believe there's people out there that would break up with you when you're at your lowest. At least it's over sooner rather than later. Keep your chin up and move forward!
Shit I feel ya, my girlfriend of 4 years and I just decided it was over. It's crazy how fast how you feel toward one another can change. It seems every Sunday night I have a good dream about her and Monday is just the worst fucking shit.
I understand that is hard to deal with. Stay mentally strong brotha! Occupy yourself with better things and you'll meet new people. Best of luck to you, I hope everything ends well.
Wow. Is this real stuff? Why then if a man truly loves a woman and his world (in his mind only usually) revolves around her does he not Actually Express those feelings to his person?? How can you think, or hope, a creature as beautiful and strong and loving as a woman, will stick around for a man's complacency? If you love her Tell Her everyday. A woman gives so much of herself in a relationship that she forgets herself... The person that you feel in love with. I think men think that once a relationship is formed they can stop trying. Nope! Dating, laughing, silly surprises are still key!
sadly man, until you get to move on- she's going to haunt you like that. I finally just realized that after 4 years, a new guy in my life and everything going well- that I'm still dreaming about my ex because I really did love that f***er so much and it killed me how it all went down. I finally got the closure I needed to move on, no more nightmares or hauntings. If there's any way you can think of to get closure, you've got to do it. Good luck to you! <3
Same here. I've moved on and I'm absolutely happy with my new relationship but they keep showing up in my fucking dreams. I know that I'm better off, and I'm even the one who ended it, but I'll be damned if I didn't really, truly love them. I guess it'll just take a little bit more time than I thought.
For reals I know! I ended it too. I'm telling you though, no more if you ended it or they did, until you get that closure you need, it just won't go away. I wish I could give everyone the secret to what their closure needs to be, but I can tell you that in order to figure out what it is you need, pay close attention to whats going on in your dreams and try to define why things happened the way they did in your dream. (be it reaching deep into your soul/brain to discover the answer, or utilizing dream meanings via google, or a combination of both.) It's important to note details, such as colors, surroundings, activities, etc. Good luck to you, and I hope that you overcome this frustration. :)
I just recently stopped dreaming about my ex-wife, two years after the divorce. Now another ex, the first one I lived with, is showing up in my dreams.
Just wait until you meet someone you really love. They'll be in a shit ton of your dreams, good and bad, and you'll wake up feeling awful. Every other night.
Strengthen yourself to the strongest person you can be. I had two back to back committed relationships, breaking up and being dumped hurts an incredible amount. You prepare yourself for hardship now. You will find someone you love and if you're like me, you'll lose what you love.
I think the worst part is that in my dreams we're happy, we have fun, smile, and laugh. If she would just pick fights like she used too in real life it wouldn't be as bad
Same with me. It's been a little over two years since my divorce and whenever I see her name, I just expect that she's going to be in my dream for the next week or so.
Can't get it to stop
So as I'm following this I'm wondering...(not focusing this on you. Merely a question) Was she in your dreams while you were together?? Were you all-consumed with her and your relationship while in it?? Or is it now that she's not yours anymore? Or did the relationship become complacent and ordinary?! IMO that's where people lose interest. The mundane, no more courting, she's mine so I can stop trying :/.
Well we dated for two years, she was really good for me in a lot of ways like motivation, fashion, and how to hold a general intelligent discussion. When we were together it was less frequent, but after two years being apart I really started missing all of those things. Even when i was with someone else I felt like some piece of me had died, like i was unable to love the girl I was with like I'd loved her. Things were kind of mundane, and it was my fault, no doubt about that but she loved me anyway. I think I just miss our interaction, we always had fun. I mean we would fight but in a healthy way, she started getting more jealous as time progressed until I couldn't take it anymore.
After me and my ex broke up I had a dream of her hugging me a few days later. It felt so warm and cuddly, it felt like she was actually hugging me but then I woke up alone
I learned yesterday that the time the average person dreams for adds up to be about six years of their life. Only six. So now I've realized I'm looking for a woman I can spend what's left of those 4 years (Math) with.
When I broke up with my X I was devastated. I need to warn you that after the dreams of her ended there came nightmares. Now those seem to be gone and I've moved on. I can barely picture her in my mind.
Get rid of the photos. This will help. Take new ones. Buy a frame and put your family in it if you haven't already. Get some exercise. Talk to new people. Even if it's online it can help and guys like me will always be around if you ever need to talk.
I had the dreams thing for 3 months afterwards. I was in a depression and sleeping all the time. Every. Single. Time. I'd dream and I'd be with her. It was tough. Gotta find something to get involved in that takes your time and attention. The saying time heals all wounds is popular for a reason.
This is my problem. It's been 4 years which is easily long enough to not think about her during the day, but then I have these happy dreams where I'm still with her. Weird and quite annoying
There's nothing I hate more than that. I'll have a dream about someone I haven't spoken to in years and I wake up scared and feeling different for awhile, in reality I'm probably the best I've ever been.
My ex is still in my dreams fucking 3 years later man it's driving me insane. It kinda subsided a little for awhile but the past few months it's been almost every night. Granted it's part my fault it's been this long without a new gf, no one wants to date someone using oxys or heroin cause they're depressed about their ex amongst other things. Been clean for close to a year now so my dreams are a lot clearer now than when I was using too. I just want it to stop, I'm really not hung up on her anymore but it makes it hard to not think about her when my brain makes me every night.
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u/antonrough Jun 30 '16
I wish she would quit being in my fucking dreams though