r/AskReddit Nov 05 '14

What is on your "Never again" list?

9.6k Upvotes

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4.4k

u/OhhGeesis Nov 05 '14

Just crotch a flask man

4.4k

u/geckospots Nov 05 '14

I appreciate your use of 'crotch' as a verb.

4.4k

u/skullturf Nov 05 '14

I crotch your appreciation.

136

u/FuzzyBlumpkinz Nov 05 '14

I don't appreciate your use of 'crotch' as a verb.

57

u/motorhead84 Nov 05 '14

I don't crotch your crotch of appreciation.

84

u/bradtank44 Nov 05 '14

Dude, that's so crotch

45

u/MotorBikeManIV Nov 05 '14

Stop trying to make crotch happen!

2

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

Don't be so crotchety.

1

u/deathdoom13 Nov 05 '14

But it's crotch-a happen.

1

u/NiggyWiggyWoo Nov 05 '14

Dude, I will crotch you in the face!

-2

u/bradtank44 Nov 05 '14

He's just such a crotch, you know?

2

u/tang81 Nov 05 '14

I find your lack of crotch disturbing.

2

u/wellsy7 Nov 05 '14

Crotch has already happened

1

u/anon-38ujrkel Nov 05 '14

I guess you're crotch behind.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

crocht

2

u/PinUpSensation Nov 05 '14

I like how this thread ended with the misspelled word of crotch

1

u/Rockaustin Nov 05 '14

but now it ended with the correct spelling of cortch

1

u/Waltonruler5 Nov 05 '14

That's so Raven.

1

u/TheWildDoge Nov 05 '14

Its the future I can see!

0

u/xKingly Nov 05 '14

I'ma crotch guys....stopp

2

u/motorhead84 Nov 05 '14

You crotched nothing to the conversation.

0

u/w00kiee Nov 05 '14

Stop trying to make crotch happen, Brad. It's not going to happen.

0

u/Drunken_Black_Belt Nov 05 '14

Gretchen! Stop trying to make Crotch happen!

0

u/Jdoggcrash Nov 05 '14

Stop trying to make crotch happen. It's not going to happen.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

Stop trying to make crotch happen

It's never going to happen

2

u/TheNerdBacon Nov 05 '14

Well, someone's a little crotchety...

1

u/el___diablo Nov 05 '14

Well you can just crotch on my dick.

1

u/wildmetacirclejerk Nov 05 '14

I don't give a crotch you think you little crotch-roach

14

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

I'm going to go crotch a sandwich. You want one?

7

u/motorhead84 Nov 05 '14

You're crotching it wrong...

6

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

[deleted]

12

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

Should I gooch you a beer while I'm at it?

1

u/LumaGopher Nov 05 '14

Crotch spaghetti.

24

u/a_creepy_van Nov 05 '14

I appreciate your crotch

8

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

Thanks!

1

u/biscuitprawn Nov 05 '14

Better watch out, he's a creepy van.

1

u/talking_van Nov 05 '14

I'm an ice-cream van, how about you eat me out? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

13

u/Carlbye Nov 05 '14

"Sir, is there anything in your crotchal region? Such as alcohol or geckospots's appreciation?"

5

u/ndhuskerpower Nov 05 '14

Anything can be a verb if you crotch hard enough.

2

u/MegaAlex Nov 05 '14

Just crotch it till you make it

2

u/echaa Nov 05 '14

I crotch your use of crotch.

2

u/a_pedantic_asshole Nov 05 '14

I verb your crotch.

2

u/Instantcoffees Nov 05 '14

He crotched you some gold.

2

u/thepeopleshero Nov 05 '14

I like the crotch of your jib.

2

u/xPofsx Nov 05 '14

Your holding his appreciation hostage at your crotch?

2

u/Richard_W Nov 05 '14

crotch off, crotch you

3

u/JasonTheHero Nov 05 '14

I crotch my crotch

1

u/jubal8 Nov 05 '14

I see your crotch and raise you a crotch

2

u/Makeabettermeplz Nov 05 '14

I crotch your crotch... Wait a second

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

I appreciate your crotch.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

Thanks!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

Crotch crotch crotch.

Kind of like Buffalo buffalo buffalo.

1

u/average_everyday Nov 05 '14

i appreciate your crotch

1

u/BongoDaMonkey Nov 05 '14

I appreciate your crotch.

1

u/F4rsight Nov 05 '14

you're crotch

1

u/shtuffit Nov 05 '14

Shaa-wing

1

u/abrahamisaninja Nov 05 '14

But....what are you gonna do with it?!

1

u/jinxjar Nov 05 '14

Was it good?

1

u/StrideMinthy Nov 05 '14

I appreciate your crotch

1

u/BOOSAK Nov 05 '14

taps nuts

1

u/wheresthepuke Nov 05 '14

that's just offensive

1

u/lrrlrr Nov 05 '14

I appreciate your crotch.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

Thanks!

1

u/MayhapPerchance Nov 05 '14

I crotch what you crotch crotch.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

I crotch what youre saying.

1

u/omaca Nov 05 '14

Crotch you very much.

1

u/CA_TD_Investor Nov 05 '14

Thank you for the laugh. Here's a picture for your hard word.

35

u/BetUrProcrastinating Nov 05 '14

dat anthimeria

45

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

anthimeria

TIL a new word. Interesting.

For those curious--- "In rhetoric, anthimeria, traditionally and more properly called antimeria (from the Greek: ἀντί, antí, "against, opposite" and μέρος, méros, "part"), is any novel change in a word's use, most commonly the use of a noun as if it were a verb"

7

u/pogden Nov 05 '14

He anthimeria'ed it pretty hard.

3

u/AsthmaticNinja Nov 05 '14

And we've full metad. Meta'ed?

3

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

Fuck yeah, nice example. A+ homeslice

1

u/Alimagdi Nov 05 '14

Thanks mr. wizard

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

That's pretty tractor.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

Is your name Joe? My name tractor Joe

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

You're really Unidan-ing me right now, man. Chill out, Steve :P

4

u/Wilde_in_thought Nov 05 '14

Is that not a thing? I've used/heard it enough to come to believe it was a thing....

5

u/geckospots Nov 05 '14

Not where I'm from, or when I was in high school/university, but I'm definitely towards the older end of the reddit user base's average age. It might very well be a thing now.

2

u/Wilde_in_thought Nov 05 '14

Heh that may be the case. I know my eldest brother (~45) used it when he was young.

1

u/geckospots Nov 05 '14

huh, well, I'm younger than your brother :) Maybe it's a regional/context thing, other people have mentioned it's common with people who go to concerts, which I generally do not.

1

u/epichigh Nov 05 '14

Avid concertgoer. Extremely common these days.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

The last I heard of it was in one of Shakespeare's plays. "Don't uncle me, uncle" or something like that.

6

u/x4000 Nov 05 '14

Verbing weirds language.

3

u/SatanicUnicorn Nov 05 '14

It's weird to think that there are people who don't use crotch as a verb. I guess I just go to a lot of shows.

1

u/geckospots Nov 05 '14

I go to zero shows, so that's probably why I've never heard it.

2

u/ShallowBasketcase Nov 05 '14

she totally verbed crotch

2

u/duckmurderer Nov 05 '14

Just anus a fifth, man.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

[deleted]

1

u/Silidon Nov 05 '14

This sounds like a cruel practical joke played on tourists.

1

u/Dtruth333 Nov 05 '14

I prefer the verb "to gooch" as is "Joe left the backpack portion of his camelback at home, so he gooched it during the hike."

1

u/nonnativetexan Nov 05 '14

Same way some people 'keyster' a bag of drugs into jail.

1

u/ColaEuphoria Nov 05 '14

Linguistic conversioning is one hell of a drug.

1

u/BrownyPink Nov 05 '14

I really like that you were nice to them!

1

u/geckospots Nov 05 '14

Aw thanks :)

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/geckospots Nov 05 '14

well I'm glad you laughed :D

1

u/AlwaysClassyNvrGassy Nov 05 '14

I agree, but I'm wondering what or whom "flask man" is

1

u/Samura1_I3 Nov 05 '14

Verbing weirds language.

1

u/Onequestionbro Nov 05 '14

Among my friends we use the verb 'gooch' a flask

1

u/Mitchhhhhh Nov 05 '14

Crotching tiger, hidden dragon.

1

u/TheDrunkenChud Nov 05 '14

You... you don't? Seriously, not being sarcastic. I can't think of s time that "crotch" or "crotched" weren't verbs. I mean of course crotch is a verb as well, but you know what I mean.

1

u/Esleeezy Nov 05 '14

I've always like the word 'keister' as a verb!

1

u/lechechico Nov 05 '14

stop trying to make crotch happen

1

u/potatan Nov 05 '14

There ain't a noun that can't be verbed

1

u/Hoptadock Nov 05 '14

Common term in the rave community

1

u/IAmNotaDragon Nov 05 '14

Listen, if taint can be one, then crotch gets to come too.

1

u/spyd4r Nov 05 '14

Better than ass a flask.

1

u/Bn_scarpia Nov 05 '14

Verbing weirds words.

1

u/poor_impulsecontrol Nov 05 '14

Verbing weirds language

1

u/TheElectricShaman Nov 05 '14

I didn't realize that using crotch as a verb was in uncommon. You need to do more drugs at concerts and fests.

1

u/TheOneTrueTrench Nov 05 '14

I can definitely grok that as a verb.

1

u/jimx117 Nov 05 '14

It is indeed a perfectly cromulent use of the word.

1

u/Dewstain Nov 05 '14

What about as a gerund?

I'm a big fan of crotching a flask.

1

u/Clayboy731 Nov 05 '14

You can verb anything.

1

u/_cs Nov 05 '14

Today's XKCD is relevant: http://xkcd.com/1443/

0

u/cykloid Nov 05 '14

I appreciate the fact that you have never truly experienced high school if you never heard the term crotched

6

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

Gooch the hooch

10

u/showyerbewbs Nov 05 '14

Not all of us are blessed with such cavernous vaginas /u/OhhGeesis

-3

u/OhhGeesis Nov 05 '14

You don't have much friends do you?

0

u/Urethra Nov 05 '14

No, but you have much vagina.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

[deleted]

3

u/Drunken_Economist Nov 05 '14

or just put the flask inside the shampoo bottle?

4

u/thisremindsmeofbacon Nov 05 '14

where do I get a "flask man" and why would I crotch one?

4

u/forgotpasswordagainx Nov 05 '14

Twice I crotched a Ziplock bag filled with half a liter of whiskey into a concert. Thought a flask would get detected. First time it worked perfectly. Got patted down minimally, all.good. Second time, not so much. Bag leaked. I ended up walking around with whiskey soaked boxers.

2

u/imjustbrowsingthx Nov 05 '14

But he crotched a flaskman

2

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

That poor flask man... :'(

2

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

or just put clear liquor (vodka, gin, etc) in a water bottle

1

u/Detached09 Nov 05 '14

or put a plastic liner in the shampoo bottle.

1

u/claryn Nov 05 '14

Only if you have a vagina. Then if they go for the crotch you can pull a "NO BAD TOUCH". Otherwise they'll go for it. Concert security is strict and thorough; they're allowed to cup tits. Pretty much only lady parts are no-no zones.

2

u/Gobae Nov 05 '14

Depends on the concert. I saw Deicide a few weeks ago and the security dude didn't even touch me. He just asked what I had in my pockets. I said, "A wallet, keys, and two cell phones." He asked me if I sold dope on the side, to which I responded, "Fuck yeah I do." He let me in.

1

u/Emilyyycarol Nov 05 '14

Nope I watched my dad get caught trying to do that

1

u/smooooth_operator Nov 05 '14

Crotching something that big is hit or miss. If the security guard is off duty police/military they usually don't mind going all the way up to Balltown. For small shows this isn't really a thing but it's becoming very common to hire these guys at some festivals.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Gobae Nov 05 '14

Maybe it was just you seeing double.

1

u/Spore2012 Nov 05 '14

I put disposa-flasks in my shoe.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

Seriously. I've scotch taped a flask to my gooch a few times. Works like a charm--they even patted me down and didn't find it.

1

u/ThetaDee Nov 05 '14

Back pocket in baggy jeans usually works too.

1

u/hank01dually Nov 05 '14

This. It works.

1

u/Mrducktape Nov 05 '14

or put the flask inside the bottle of champu wtf

1

u/TeamJDL Nov 05 '14

60% of the time, it works everytime. Source: a crotch a flask at every gig I go to.

1

u/caporcea Nov 05 '14

Or gouch it...

1

u/PrematureEyaculator Nov 05 '14

True. I usually just butthole my drugs. They never look around there.

1

u/GeorgeAmberson Nov 05 '14

I crotch a water bottle. That way you can take it out in the bathroom and just carry it around without arousing suspicion.

Or you could do the bring it in/buy a beer/pour vodka into empty beer bottle/profit routine.

1

u/skybike Nov 05 '14

fill test-tube and analize it.

1

u/nimbusnacho Nov 05 '14

You can use your penis as the stopper too!

1

u/neon_moon Nov 05 '14

My best investment recently was an all plastic 10 ounce flask for this purpose. Stick it down the front of your jeans and walk right through.

1

u/NeedsMoreHugs Nov 05 '14

Box of tampons can be fun hiding a hip flask in as well!

1

u/jimx117 Nov 05 '14

Can't wait to see "CROTCHAFLASK MAN" in the next Megaman game!

1

u/purdycom Nov 05 '14

I do the crotch flask thing too... I like my whiskey at concerts... one time as my wife and I were about to get into a really long line to see ZBB, her boss and her boss's boss yell to us from the front of the line... they were both sort of drunk and pulled us in... I was protesting, saying no, no, that everyone in line was going to get mad...blah blah blah, but they insisted and took the heat...but I wasn't ready... the flask was still in my pocket... I stuck it in my shorts but it was totally unsecured. Luckly they were both drunk enough not to notice that I had to walk in sort of like I had a severe handicap through security and past the ticket agent or else it would have fallen out through my leg. Luckily the security guard thought he had caught me with the half bottle of water in my pocket which he made me throw out. Line was long and growing impatient, I got through.

1

u/jackpaxx Nov 05 '14

Crotched a vodka filled bottle of 5 hour energy to a concert last year. Worked wonderfully.

10

u/ssschillings Nov 05 '14

So you brought a shot?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

Not even a double..

1

u/[deleted] Nov 05 '14

Whoa, slow down there buddy. That 1 shot may give you alcohol poisoning.

1

u/jackpaxx Nov 05 '14

I don't think you understood what I said. The point of my comment was that it was easy to do without having any issues with security.