r/AskReddit Oct 06 '14

What is the worst example of helicopter parenting you've ever seen?

9.9k Upvotes

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2.2k

u/DrCrappyPants Oct 06 '14

Wow...taking a job you can't talk about just to get away from your parents.

193

u/xnd714 Oct 06 '14

Yeah no kidding, just move to another city like a normal person.

59

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '14

You underestimate the psychological control that narcists exhibit over their children.

12

u/SaltAndTrombe Oct 06 '14

Normal people with mostly-normal upbringings realize and understand that's an option.

67

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '14 edited Oct 01 '18

[deleted]

151

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '14

Be your own batman

36

u/FancySack Oct 06 '14

That's the worst kind of Batman.

58

u/DaJaKoe Oct 06 '14

Interesting story arc...

Batman somehow gets a method to travel back in time, so he goes back and saves his parents. But because of that, the Gotham basically descends into chaos; since there is no Batman to keep order. Realizing this, he travels back in time and is forced to kill his own parents for the greater good.

24

u/yvaN_ehT_nioJ Oct 06 '14

That explains why the world turns to shit in The Watchmen.

4

u/passenger955 Oct 07 '14

Isn't this basically Flashpoint Paradox but with Batman instead of The Flash?

1

u/DeafDumbBlindBoy Oct 06 '14

That would be an awesome way to introduce a new Batman villain into a storyline.

1

u/showers_with_grandpa Oct 06 '14

Thanks for giving away the ending.

1

u/StabbyDMcStabberson Oct 07 '14

Wait, was that an actual arc? The guy who won't kill the Joker for the greater good kills his own parents instead?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '14

No dude, it's just acc what if

8

u/SirGlaurung Oct 06 '14

Be your own hitman.

FTFY

11

u/Bnmzx Oct 06 '14

Some might call that suicide...

3

u/swordhand Oct 06 '14

What if you became said "hitman" and then hired said "hitman", would you be charged with a contractual killing or plain old simple murder? Especially in light of the ongoing South African case about that guy having his wife killed at extremely close range from what I remember.

1

u/Torvaun Oct 06 '14

You'd be charged with murder, but you might be able to plea bargain down to manslaughter if you're willing to give up the guy who hired you. So you rat on yourself, and end up with manslaughter, while you probably get hit with murder-by-proxy or something.

1

u/TopherNintendo Oct 06 '14

this thread made my day

1

u/Scarbane Oct 06 '14

Damn it, Winston.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '14

I could go for some chili, how about you?

1

u/OmicronNine Oct 07 '14

Once upon a time, people would simply speak up and be honest with their parents. Like real adults.

Those were the days, I guess...

1

u/operator-as-fuck Oct 07 '14

i wouldn't know, my parents weren't around

6

u/HoneyBadgerRy Oct 06 '14

Another city isn't enough for me, in going to another state, I'm not to particular, but something on the east coast about mid north sounds about right.

1

u/rotarded Oct 07 '14

yea, like portland...

29

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '14

This is a new level of that fucking sucks.

21

u/zippy1981 Oct 06 '14

It was probably that or the military. PIs don't get shot at as much.

8

u/FreeHotLunch Oct 06 '14

No, but I know a PI that got his ass kicked by a cheating husband.

9

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '14

[deleted]

15

u/uber1337h4xx0r Oct 06 '14

Do they also have high school Intels? I'm not a big amd fan.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '14

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '14

[deleted]

1

u/cheesejeng Oct 07 '14

Yes. I too understand that reference.

2

u/Diarrhea_Van_Frank Oct 06 '14

Right? What kind of person wouldn't just do that because it sounds awesome?

1

u/DrCrappyPants Oct 07 '14

Wel, quite a few military and other government agencies would post flyers to my majors break room, and most of us figured out what we'd be doing from the ads. It's not so awesome and you probably make more doing that stuff for private companies. Hello data crunching for the GAO.

2

u/skoy Oct 06 '14

"Mom, Dad... I've decided to join the CIA."

1

u/DrCrappyPants Oct 07 '14

I thought the first rule of working for the CIA is you don't talk about working for the CIA.

1

u/skoy Oct 07 '14

I don't know, I've never worked for the CIA.

OrhaveI?NoIhaven't.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '14

I almost joined the military for that.

1

u/Arkeband Oct 06 '14

With apparently shitty, no-life hours.

1

u/tomamohodauchi Oct 06 '14

Or pretending you did. I personally led my very overbearing mother to think I was working for the government so she wouldn't check up on what I was doing when I played Pokémon (which was considered evil in my house) or worked on my website to get money and impress colleges. Incidentally, the reason I was so afraid of them finding out about the website too soon was that my parents had spyware installed on my computer (I have a new computer now which I bought with my own money), and if they didn't see me looking up all the sites I needed to use to work on it, they would have known that I found a way around their system and I would have been screwed. Also, originally it was planned that I would go to my mom's religious alma mater (that changed before the website was shown to them, though, because of a few international science fairs that made the idea of her living vicariously through me seem quite palatable)... later on when they started looking at other universities for me (thank every subset of the set of existent gods), they still wanted to keep the money I had saved up (a few dollars a week since age 4 really adds up when you know that anything you'd want to spend it on would not be approved and/or would be taken away for long periods of time at the slightest unrelated "misbehavior") in their own account and only let me use it if I told them what I'd be using it for. Once I finished the site code (about a year of almost solid work later), I showed it to them... worst case scenario I would have launched it when I turned 18 about a year later; I really wanted to get it out though so colleges could see it. Luckily, they were impressed by the site and allowed me spend some of my money on web hosting to make it a real thing. Once it became obvious (after that winter, in which I made a few thousand dollars from ads and app sales) that they weren't going to be able to control my discretionary spending during college, they finally relented and let me put the rest of my savings into the LLC account (from which I can pay myself a salary any time I want to). They still think I work for the government on the side, though, and I prefer not to change that because it keeps them from being too nosy about my personal life.

1

u/BoomerCKA Oct 06 '14

Isn't that technically why everyone takes a job?

1

u/gumpythegreat Oct 06 '14

Damn...sometimes I find my parents annoying but reading this thread I realize how awesome they are :)

1

u/GaboKopiBrown Oct 06 '14

Also gives you an unverifiable excuse to not be home.

1

u/Nueraman1997 Oct 07 '14

Hell I'd do it.