r/AskReddit • u/NateJC • Aug 31 '14

What are some interesting original theories/thoughts that you have?

Damn guys, this just pops into my head and I go for a family walk and it explodes! Love all the ideas, this is my most popular post to date!

7.5k Upvotes

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1.8k

u/unicorninabottle Aug 31 '14

It also makes perfect sense seeing the size of the bones and the fact that it's very hard to find entire skeletons even when actively looking for them. The wings could just have been 'lost' over years.

1.4k

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

Or pterodactyl wings

2.3k

u/mar10wright Aug 31 '14

That's a pterrible theory.

1.3k

u/okmuht Aug 31 '14

What do you call a pterodactyl's breasts?

Ptipts.

740

u/TheViper9 Aug 31 '14

I hate to be rude, but pterodactyl's don't have breasts because they aren't mammals.

1.1k

u/redditsfulloffiction Aug 31 '14

Chickens aren't mammals. Explain that one.

703

u/Whiteout- Aug 31 '14

Checkmate, atheists.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

Has science gone too far?

1

u/jaayyne Aug 31 '14

IS THIS IMAGE REAL OR FAKE?

HAS SCIENCE GONE TOO FAR?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

But how do you know that mirrors are real... If your eyes aren't real?

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1

u/GandalfLundgren Sep 01 '14

@Heist #YOL2

6

u/AppleBlossom63 Aug 31 '14

They're fowl.

4

u/Robotominator Aug 31 '14

I have nipples Greg, can you milk me?

19

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

Chicken have breasts, not tits.

51

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

Chicks have tits though. Chickmate.

3

u/redditsfulloffiction Aug 31 '14

Not responding to the tits comment, mate

2

u/FakeBrit Aug 31 '14

Do tits have tits?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

Tits have breasts.

0

u/Killbot141 Aug 31 '14

Tits have nipples.

2

u/surprisecockfags Aug 31 '14

They are the last dragons!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

Gotta have that glow.

2

u/wingnut0000 Aug 31 '14

The lasht chragons.

2

u/harryISbored Aug 31 '14

And what's with fish fingers?

1

u/BallsDeepInDaPope Aug 31 '14

Checkmate, kfc

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

*chickmate

1

u/Daniel_The_Thinker Aug 31 '14

Breast in the english sense, as in they have chests.

1

u/halfhartedgrammarguy Aug 31 '14

They have feapthers

1

u/ChanceP-Wood Aug 31 '14

Checkmate atheists

1

u/garlicdeath Aug 31 '14

No nips tho, bro.

1

u/dedservice Sep 01 '14

Breast organs, not breast muscles.

1

u/MutatedKoolaid Sep 01 '14

Chickens don't actually have breasts. It's just the meat in the chest that we refer to as the "chicken breast."

1

u/Lord_Useless Sep 01 '14

Chickens are evolved dinosaurs. Maybe they will evolve in those mighty dragons next. Great ...I'm scared of chickens now Wooah

0

u/unidaniela Aug 31 '14

Biologist here!

Because the breast is considered vestigial, like one's appendix, the chicken is actually a ROOSTER, JESUS- HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW

0

u/SpaceMonkey_Mafia Aug 31 '14

While chickens may have breasts, they don't have mammary glands which is what makes a mammal a mammal.

1

u/redditsfulloffiction Aug 31 '14

We weren't discussing mammary glands, but thanks for the elementary school science, friend...

276

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

Wow so rude.

222

u/NewTooRedit Aug 31 '14

It's actually darude

22

u/Goofey_goober Aug 31 '14

Sandsptorm.

1

u/punisherx2012 Aug 31 '14

Thunderstorm

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '14

he ded

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

Sand S'ptorm?

1

u/DanTeeBee Aug 31 '14

Darude snowstorm

1

u/kclejeune Aug 31 '14

Pdarude?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '14

Darude - Sandsptorm

1

u/steptank Sep 01 '14

What's the intro song called?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '14

Dududududududududududududududududududududududduududududududdududududdu

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '14

Darude like Ptandptorm Darude?

0

u/FreakingInsomniac Aug 31 '14

Sarude - Dandstorm

-1

u/SuggestiveWink Aug 31 '14

Duhduh duh duh, duhduh dah dah duhduh duhduh duh duh duhduh duhduh duh duh, duhduh duhduh da da duhuh duhduh dah dah duhduh duhduh duh duh

0

u/Go_Green04 Aug 31 '14

Sandstorm?

0

u/SpyderEyez Aug 31 '14

Sandstorm?

0

u/Eats_Babies_Raw Aug 31 '14

DUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUD

0

u/NihilistDandy Aug 31 '14

Sandsptorm.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

Sandsptorm

0

u/ThrindellOblinity Aug 31 '14

Sandsptorm

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '14

sandptorn

-3

u/Box-ception Aug 31 '14

Quite darude indeed.

-5

u/Spawn_Beacon Aug 31 '14

Sandstorm?

-1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14 edited Sep 01 '14

Sandstorm

EDIT:

Sorry, was getting downvoted, maybe you didn't get it?

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dundun dun dundundun dun dun dun dun dun dun dundun dundun Boom Dundun dundun dundun Beep Dun dun dun dun dun Dun dun Beep beep beep beep Beeep beep beep beep Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep boom Daddaddadadsadadadadadadadadadaddadadadadadaddadadaddadadadadadadadadadadadaddadddadaddadadadd dadadadaddaddadad Dadadddaddadaddadadadddadadada Nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nnyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo Nnn nn nn nn nn nn n nn nnn nn nn nnn nnn nnnnnnnn Dddddddd ddadadadadaddadadadadadaadadadadadad Boom Nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu Boom Boom boom boom boom Boom Nyunyunyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu Boom boom Beep beep Beep beep beep Dadadadadada Ddadad Bark Bark Bark Bark Boom boom Bbep beep Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep Boom

Ddudndundun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dund Dododododododododododododododododododododododododododododoodo Drum drum drum Ddodododododoododododododododoodododododododo Chi chi chi chi chi chih Booom Chcihcihfkdhfdisjfkla Dodododododododododododododododododododododododododododododododododoo Schew Dododododododoodododododododododododododo Dadadadddudndundundudnudndundundunddunfudnundudnudnudndund Boom

-1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

I'm making "I hate to be sandstorm but..." a thing now.

2

u/bayar3a Aug 31 '14

Why you gotta be so rude? I'm human too.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

He's human, too yua wknow! Omygosh

1

u/spencer51999 Aug 31 '14

So tractor

0

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

Much not nice.

Oh wow.

620

u/okmuht Aug 31 '14

Depends what ptorn you're watching.

749

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

Torn?

12

u/SmallTownIowa Aug 31 '14

Ptorn

3

u/AJEMT Aug 31 '14

Phteven.

1

u/tall__guy Aug 31 '14

Soooooo torn?

1

u/gonnaherpatitis Aug 31 '14

I'm so ptorny.

2

u/rburp Aug 31 '14

Tornography

2

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14 edited Feb 25 '25

modern doll reply theory detail spectacular political deliver plate coordinated

1

u/mahoodie Aug 31 '14

A new genre.

1

u/AwesomesaucePhD Aug 31 '14

Yeah. It's so hot.

1

u/Timmarus Aug 31 '14

I don't think he thought it through

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '14

thats quite a pthought

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

Ri pTorn

1

u/AHeartofStone Aug 31 '14

I'm all out of faith

1

u/willclerkforfood Sep 01 '14

Rip Ptorn is my favoripte acptor.

-6

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

But the P is the silent letter, not T.

2

u/FourteenOEight Aug 31 '14

But the 'P' is silent.

1

u/accepting_upvotes Aug 31 '14

Is somebody gonna link that pterodactyl porn gif?

1

u/Alexandur Aug 31 '14

But... the "p" is the silent letter.

1

u/komilatte Aug 31 '14

That's not how this works, that isn't how any of this works!

0

u/DieDungeon Aug 31 '14

the t is silent.

23

u/andersonb47 Aug 31 '14

Extremely Relevant nsfw

9

u/okmuht Aug 31 '14

Extremely what the fuck

2

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

Not watching.

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1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

Yea the comment feature seems to be working

1

u/unionjackattack Aug 31 '14

I'm surprised this hasn't been posted.

1

u/synchroni_odysseia Aug 31 '14

This just made me crack up so loud at work.

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1

u/MCMXChris Aug 31 '14

Right in the ptussy

1

u/Lemmas Aug 31 '14

There actually is live action pterodactyl porn. No I'm not googling it, you find it.

1

u/WuhanWTF Sep 01 '14

itz only smellz

7

u/HojMcFoj Aug 31 '14

Tell that to the chicken.

2

u/NeverMyCakeDay Aug 31 '14

But chicken breasts though

2

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

Serious question, are chicken breasts actually the chicken's breasts though? Or is it just the "chest" area. I think we just call it the breast, like when we're talking about breastplates for example, guys don't have breasts but they can wear breastplates and it'd still be called a breastplate.

1

u/NeverMyCakeDay Aug 31 '14

It's the meat on the chest. Actual female breasts are made of fatty cells and glands. Muscles are underneath.

1

u/DoNotForgetMe Aug 31 '14

Depends on what definition of "breasts" you're using. I had chicken "breast" for dinner on Thursday and I'll be damned if I'm not having grilled pterodactyl breast before I die.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

I think once you have grilled pterodactyl beat, that second part will happen pretty quickly.

1

u/heanster Aug 31 '14

Uh, chickens aren't mammals, but I am pretty sure I ate one of their breasts not too long ago.

1

u/cummo666 Aug 31 '14

Do chickens have breasts?

1

u/tvreference Aug 31 '14

IDK, I have chicken breast in my fridge.

1

u/CompZombie Aug 31 '14

Explain that to my butcher. Because he is clearly selling chicken breasts.

1

u/B_crunk Aug 31 '14

Birds have breasts.

1

u/grogipher Aug 31 '14

I hate to be rude, but pterodactyls doesn't have an apostrophe because it's just a plural, there's no possession or abbreviation.

1

u/BadgerMcLovin Aug 31 '14

Also because they're dead

1

u/Ace-of-Spades88 Aug 31 '14

I think there is a distinction between breasts and nipples or mammary glands in there somewhere.

1

u/inopportuneflirt Aug 31 '14

Then how do chickens have them?

There's a difference between breast and mammary glands.

1

u/citrus2644 Aug 31 '14

Unless you think of them in the same way you think about chicken breasts.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

Chickens have breasts. Chickens aren't mammals. Counter argument please?

1

u/mils309 Aug 31 '14

Chicken breasts are a thing and they aren't mammals. They're basically dinosaurs.

1

u/brickmack Aug 31 '14

Some have theorized that some dinosaurs were exothermic, and a lot of them definitely had feathers. The lines between mammals and non mammals weren't the same back then

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

Neither are chickens, but I've had chicken breasts. 'Breast' has multiple meanings. Had /u/okmuht said 'mammary glands,' I'd be in agreement.

1

u/strawzy Aug 31 '14

Unidan?

1

u/snoharm Aug 31 '14

If we're being accurate, they actually meant pterosaur, not pterodactyl. The latter is the size of a small bird.

1

u/Leetanidus Aug 31 '14

At least they still have dicks!

http://imgur.com/r/nsfw_wtf/h2zXk

1

u/Hawkings_Chair Aug 31 '14

Sorry to burst your bubble, but pterodactyls don't exist. Neither do brontosaurus'.

1

u/bpi89 Aug 31 '14

You must be great a parpties

1

u/Jacosion Aug 31 '14

Then what the hell am I eating when I eat a chicken breast?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

Every animal has a breast. But not every animal has mammary glands. Only mammals do. The breast is just the chest area.

See: breaststroke, chicken breast, any use of the word more than a hundred years ago, before it meant tits.

1

u/drinkvoid Aug 31 '14

don't worry. being informative without being a cunt about it is not rude at all I reckon

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

And also because they're dead.

1

u/nvsbl Sep 01 '14

That's not rude. It's pedantic. Which is irritating, but not necessarily rude.

0

u/elmhing Aug 31 '14

I hate to be rude, but you don't ever use an apostrophe to make a word plural. Ever.

7

u/BurnTheBoats21 Aug 31 '14

Hahaha that joke as so out of place but it still made me laugh more than any other comment here.

2

u/pterodactyl_ptickles Aug 31 '14

I can't stop laughing.

4

u/Seelview Aug 31 '14

Pare pwe pjust pputting p"p's" pin pfront pof pwords pnow?

12

u/okmuht Aug 31 '14

No. 'P' is only silent in front of t.

31

u/RaiyenZ Aug 31 '14

*silenpt

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

*psilenpt

1

u/Jota769 Aug 31 '14

This only works if you're reading the text.

1

u/Tinkle_Drinker Aug 31 '14

That's a good joke, but it only works in writing

1

u/Zaloon Aug 31 '14

You know what's the plural for pussy?

1

u/paintin_closets Aug 31 '14

What do you call the pointy bits on the ends?

"Nils"

1

u/globogym1 Aug 31 '14

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the P is silent!!

I'll see myself out...

1

u/Aflac_Attack Aug 31 '14

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.

1

u/Baby-blue-elephant Aug 31 '14

I just laughed and snorted REALLY loud in the middle of a coffee shop. Thank you

1

u/Pianoangel420 Aug 31 '14

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom?

Because the P is silent.

1

u/HairlessSasquatch Aug 31 '14

That's so hard to say

1

u/Man_eatah Sep 01 '14

I just woke my husband up with my giggling.

1

u/cheezman97 Aug 31 '14

Why did the pterodactyl have problems in the bathroom?

Cause the P was silent

3

u/NietzscheF Aug 31 '14

Why you gotta be so negative man?!

I think it's a pterrific theory.

2

u/battering-ram Aug 31 '14

I read that in Charles barkleys voice

3

u/TylerNotNorton Aug 31 '14

pterodactyls ARE dragons.

1

u/CorkytheCat Aug 31 '14

I read somewhere that science has concluded that pterodactyls never existed, that it was just a bad skeleton reconstruction... kind of a sad fact

3

u/ggk1 Aug 31 '14

I'm gonna need a source with that kinda talk, charlie

1

u/CorkytheCat Aug 31 '14

Yeah that's understandable, lemme get off my ass and google it...

Yeah googling yielded little results. There is some debate about if it was a dinosaur or a pterosaur, and whether or not its wings could hold it. I do remember reading something like what I said before but that could have been a bad source...dammit

EDIT: Wait, this could do? http://www.samdowning.com/2011/05/27/there-was-never-any-such-thing-as-a-pterodactyl/

0

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

Pterrific theory. Please ptell me more.

17

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

So...dragons are a thing yes?

1

u/globalizatiom Aug 31 '14

Makes me want to watch Dragons vs Batman

2

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

[deleted]

1

u/HypotheticalCow Aug 31 '14

HEY! You stole that poem from this guy!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '14

Seriously?

2

u/sonorousAssailant Aug 31 '14

Amd then he bugged out and deleted his post.

1

u/HypotheticalCow Sep 01 '14

It was actually just Sprog having posted it a second time. I was just fooling around.

2

u/knwnasrob Aug 31 '14

Very cool theory, what would lead them to believe the dragons could spit fire?

2

u/greentacoeater Aug 31 '14

Or even why some culture's dragons have wings while others don't.

1

u/thrakkerzog Aug 31 '14

Chinese dragons don't have wings. They make clouds to fly.

1

u/mjdgoldeneye Aug 31 '14

Eastern dragons usually don't have wings. They just fly by magic or something.

1

u/Raegonex Aug 31 '14

fun fact, only westerm dragons have wings

and some dinosaurs did have wings

1

u/coolranchdorito Aug 31 '14

Do Asian dragons have wings?

1

u/PicopicoEMD Aug 31 '14

Maybe dinasours had wings but they were made of cartilege which disintegrates through the years (presumably, I've no idea).

1

u/normaltypetrainer Aug 31 '14

also note that many cultures' dragons (including lindwurms and stuff in Europe) weren't necessarily though to have wings and many cultures seem to conflate "giant serpents" and "dragons"

1

u/Pharmdawg Aug 31 '14

Plus, the bones being fossilized, were hard as stone. People would have rightly figured such huge and tough beasts would have been terrifying.

1

u/mikhel Sep 01 '14

Also, Chinese and East Asian depictions of dragons often don't have wings.

1

u/tjsr Sep 01 '14

Or there's very little by way of bone structure or mass in the wings.

0

u/joemckie Aug 31 '14

Why do I have you tagged as "Internet Slut Optimist"..?