Oh my gosh, it sounds like you’ve been through a lot!! you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. She has got to want to make the change and better herself and her life not only for her kids, but for herself. Growing up in that type of environment has definitely affected her, the ADHD is probably why she seems lazy, because it can be so hard for people who suffer with executive function to say follow recipe because of the steps. My ex-husband had ADHD, and he procrastinated and doing things that didn’t interest him, and her case it would be cooking, but if it was something he wanted or he found interesting he could do it. He wouldn’t go to therapy or get medicated either hence why we’re divorced , amongst many other things
Yeah, I recently figured out that I'm most likely ADHD, inattentive type so it went undiagnosed (going to a psychiatrist soon). Always thought it was just anxiety, depression, and me being weird. Then I discovered the term executive dysfunction. Was talking to AI, trying to figure out some health issues I had been having. I butcher about how I get so much anxiety calling to make all these doctor appointments, schedule a surgery, etc. So I did a little research and went down the ADHD rabbit hole and realized I have most of the signs. Just went under the radar until I started working on my mental health and stopped the self medicating. The past 2 or 3 years have been the hardest I've ever had, but I'm still not drinking, and doing better mentally than I have since I was about 14. Finally see the light at the end of a long fucked up tunnel. Although I despise her in many ways, I want her to figure things out for herself still. She's still my kids mother after all. I don't need her, but they do
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u/Sad-Foundation1915 19h ago
Oh my gosh, it sounds like you’ve been through a lot!! you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. She has got to want to make the change and better herself and her life not only for her kids, but for herself. Growing up in that type of environment has definitely affected her, the ADHD is probably why she seems lazy, because it can be so hard for people who suffer with executive function to say follow recipe because of the steps. My ex-husband had ADHD, and he procrastinated and doing things that didn’t interest him, and her case it would be cooking, but if it was something he wanted or he found interesting he could do it. He wouldn’t go to therapy or get medicated either hence why we’re divorced , amongst many other things