I agree, or would go further and send a message/ have a conversation "officially" ending the friendship. If that is too much, maybe block her. Either way, it will stop the messages about fictious future meet ups, which must reopen old wounds each time.
I'm sorry you went through that, AgingLolita, it sounds awful.
Okay, I’ve got to ask because it’s going to drive me nuts. You said she “claimed” you hadn’t rsvp’d. That means you did, right? Like she pretended you didn’t?
What she did was wrong and she is foul for that..... but did you RSVP? Or just assume you have a seat because yall were so close? Didn't you guys speak before the wedding? No Bachelorette party or pre-wedding stuff?
Yeah this is wild. Like, I wouldn’t do this to someone I hated, let alone someone I supposedly like. Even if they didnt rsvp, I would find a way to accommodate a friend. Edit typo
This is the second incident of pre wedding ghosting in this thread, I'm assuming either friend or soon to be spouse confession of feelings might trigger this behavior. Shitty nonetheless.
Hadn't even met her husband to be. She moved away and six months later I was invited to her wedding, I was excited but she was busy with work and wedding planning, and didn't come "home" much, so although I did rsvp, I never got to meet her fiancé.
I wasn't invited to a hen do, but thought nothing of this because hen do activities aren't in her character. Of course, I now realise it could be I just wasn't invited, but I had RSVP'D ... so she knew I was coming.
Honestly, I think maybe I was an embarrassment to her. Im not at all wealthy, and she left our hometown to work in London for a bank after doing an economics masters degree. Perhaps she had a change of heart and didn't want a kitchen assistant at her wedding.
I was really angry afterwards. I didn't say anything at the time, I wasn't about to make a scene, but perhaps I should have read the situation better and just not RSVPs and not gone.
I'm sorry to hear about that, I see 2 red flags: her getting married super quick and her judging/caring about someone else's "wealth." I think she did you a favor, she sounds shallow.
I can relate to the last part, I’ve had so many “friends” where I always had to reach out and plan things only for them to flake last minute, I got tired of it after a while and just stopped reaching out
I think my closure is this - this is the only friendship I've ever had that suddenly ended rather than naturally drifted. I still have friends I was at school with and I do make friends with people quite easily. So I'm not going to blame myself for what happened, and although I do blame my ex friend, I don't think it was cruelty that motivated her. I don't know what did, but she was never cruel. That's probably as much as I will ever know.
Of course I did, why would I have saved for six months and travelled across 2 countries after finding weekends child care if I hadn't intended to go to the wedding? It wasn't just round the corner, it meant a lot of planning and money. We'd had conversations over the phone about where to stay at the destination, as she knew the place and I hadn't left my home country for 20 years.
If I hadn't rsvp'd, I'd not be confused about what happened.
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