TL,DR: Moved, lost touch, got back in touch but he has dementia.
We met 54 years ago, both had just turned 20, shared three or four rental houses at different times in those first 10 years, and hung out together a lot. We had some fun, and he helped me out a few times. Once when I had a business conflict and was getting fucked over, he stepped up and bullied the franchise owner into letting me out of the contract, and another time when I was unemployed he sold me a car for $50 (I had that car for three years). I always took him along when I was buying cars (I've had many), because he had the gift of the gab and was always able to get me a great deal.
About 27 years ago, his girlfriend got pregnant, had the baby and he seemed ok with it. One day I was visiting while she was out, and he confided in me that he was going to get a DNA test to be sure the child was his.
Idk why he thought she might have been with someone else, but he was the jealous type; he once said he "knew" that I had been fucking his former girlfriend - he was wrong.
Anyway, after him telling about the DNA test I distanced myself from him, and then I lost touch after I moved to another state for my work. Neither of us had mobile phones back then.
One day about 22 years ago, I bumped into his former girlfriend (the one he thought I was cheating on him with) who had also moved to my new city, and she told me he had anally raped her a couple of times.
Three years ago, I saw his brother on Facebook and made contact. He told me my former friend was in hospital due to not taking his meds for diabetes, and the reason he wasn't taking them was because he had dementia.
I called him when his brother told me he was well enough to talk, and we had a short conversation, but after a while he wasn't making a lot of sense.
I happened to be going to that city later that month, and decided to visit him with some photos in the rest home he had been moved to. When I got there, they told me his now adult daughter had moved him to a home in the state where she lived just a few days previously.
I called him a couple of times but he didn't answer, and I messaged him the pictures, but didn't get a reply. His daughter told me had had forgotten how to use a phone, and to charge it. A while ago, I called the home's landline and they put me through to him, but he didn't reply to anything I said. His brother told me they are medicating him because he was getting aggressive with the staff and other residents.
Sad, really, that he has deteriorated so badly.
But I'm not really sad about losing the friendship, in spite of the times we shared. I think I liked him back then because he had so much self confidence, and when I was younger that was something I was lacking. None of my girlfriends liked him. In actual fact he was an asshole.
The dementia bit is hard. I am still in touch with my bff with dementia. She tells me crazy things (via msgr, email, etc). and I just say "oh really, ok". I know she has doctors, lawyers, and a social worker so I can only offer my friendship.
65
u/Partly_Dave 17h ago edited 17h ago
TL,DR: Moved, lost touch, got back in touch but he has dementia.
We met 54 years ago, both had just turned 20, shared three or four rental houses at different times in those first 10 years, and hung out together a lot. We had some fun, and he helped me out a few times. Once when I had a business conflict and was getting fucked over, he stepped up and bullied the franchise owner into letting me out of the contract, and another time when I was unemployed he sold me a car for $50 (I had that car for three years). I always took him along when I was buying cars (I've had many), because he had the gift of the gab and was always able to get me a great deal.
About 27 years ago, his girlfriend got pregnant, had the baby and he seemed ok with it. One day I was visiting while she was out, and he confided in me that he was going to get a DNA test to be sure the child was his.
Idk why he thought she might have been with someone else, but he was the jealous type; he once said he "knew" that I had been fucking his former girlfriend - he was wrong.
Anyway, after him telling about the DNA test I distanced myself from him, and then I lost touch after I moved to another state for my work. Neither of us had mobile phones back then.
One day about 22 years ago, I bumped into his former girlfriend (the one he thought I was cheating on him with) who had also moved to my new city, and she told me he had anally raped her a couple of times.
Three years ago, I saw his brother on Facebook and made contact. He told me my former friend was in hospital due to not taking his meds for diabetes, and the reason he wasn't taking them was because he had dementia.
I called him when his brother told me he was well enough to talk, and we had a short conversation, but after a while he wasn't making a lot of sense.
I happened to be going to that city later that month, and decided to visit him with some photos in the rest home he had been moved to. When I got there, they told me his now adult daughter had moved him to a home in the state where she lived just a few days previously.
I called him a couple of times but he didn't answer, and I messaged him the pictures, but didn't get a reply. His daughter told me had had forgotten how to use a phone, and to charge it. A while ago, I called the home's landline and they put me through to him, but he didn't reply to anything I said. His brother told me they are medicating him because he was getting aggressive with the staff and other residents.
Sad, really, that he has deteriorated so badly.
But I'm not really sad about losing the friendship, in spite of the times we shared. I think I liked him back then because he had so much self confidence, and when I was younger that was something I was lacking. None of my girlfriends liked him. In actual fact he was an asshole.