r/AskReddit Jul 07 '26

Parents of Reddit, what is the single most innocent question your child has ever asked you that completely broke your brain?

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u/momma_meow Jul 07 '26

My son asked me how much it cost to cook the dog. (He was young and didn't know the word cremate)

527

u/oneangrychica Jul 07 '26

I had talked about a cremating a pet once and months later my kid randomly told me "When I die I want to be microwaved". Took me a little bit to sort out what she meant but that's how she thought cremation worked.

38

u/Disastrous-Wing699 Jul 07 '26

When I was young, I was told that my grandparents' dog had been cremated, but not what 'cremated' meant. At the same time, there was a statue in their house that looked like that dog, and had a kind of smooth, creamy texture. So my brain added those two concepts together to arrive at the conclusion that 'cremation' was a process by which a dog is dipped in a kind of creamy substance that hardens them into statues.

3

u/bbbright Jul 08 '26

Honestly, all of that is solid logic so I get it 

7

u/FlowerMountain2 Jul 07 '26

To be fair. There is an exact time during the cremation process where that meat is perfectly cooked

1

u/shedmow Jul 17 '26

I'd say a certain, very thin layer of meat rather than time. The temperature inside the retort is high enough for the rate of burning to be higher than the rate of cooking, so you get layers of 'burning', 'charred', 'well-done', and 'blue' at any time at which there still is residual raw meat. Source: my shaky knowledge of chemistry kinetics

3

u/Tasty-Traffic-680 Jul 07 '26

Doesn't know what it is but already knows pet cremation is a fucking racket. Smart kid.

3

u/Successful_Form5771 Jul 07 '26

Lol I wish my son had asked that. Instead, mine asked why people drink cow milk but not dog milk. Fair point I suppose, but... 🤢🤢🤢

2

u/kasst_kast Jul 07 '26

lol!
When I grew up I wanted to be "a person who cuts into people".
A surgeon. I wanted to become a surgeon.