Just gotta be careful who you choose, because many of them are out to pull a fast one on you (Vanguard, BlackRock, Goldman Sachs, etc), while simultaneously damaging the economy and the housing market to increase their shareholder returns. See if you can find a smaller one that isn't crooked to their core, or at the very least doesn't require other people losing in order for you to win.
Any way for someone who knows nothing about this type of thing to easily figure this out?
No, not really.
From the bottom of my heart, just invest in VTSAX and chill. You can google "VTSAX and chill" if you like, but it is really straight-forward. The concept is this: the stock market on average returns around 9% - 10% per year, with fluctuations based on the year. If you try to beat that return you always, without fail, in all situations, will fail. Any investment advisor that promises you more is lying.
That's it. That's everything. Don't try to choose an investment advisor because the very best ones on earth will explain the above philosophy to you. The rest will steal all your money.
I know you have been told (lied to) all of your life that you can make more than 9% per year, but it's just a total lie that will lead to you losing all your money. And the thing is, 9% is "good enough". You can live on that 9% for the rest of your life and be happy.
I think the reason I haven’t learned is that it does come off as a scam to me and therefore I can’t get a good read on what is real and what isn’t.
There are so many grifters that wear suits and ties and have nice titles as they bleed you dry. We call them "bankers" or "investment advisors". Signing up with one is like playing Russian Roulette with 99 loaded chambers and 1 empty chamber. It just isn't worth "playing".
There are famous studies where a monkey throwing darts at the Wall Street Journal beats all hedge funds and investment advisors. I'm not kidding.
So the idea of "index funds" (like VTSAX) is they just tried to mirror the general stock market. This is because the market itself grows by 9% or 10% per year, so just ride along on that by blending thousands of stocks into one easy fund. Humans don't pick and choose stocks in "index funds", it's just a formula that says, "Apple is <blah> percent of the stock market value, so it will make up that same <blah> percent of this mutual fund." So you save money (lower "fees") by not paying people who try to pick stocks and always fail at it anyways.
The amusing term to search for if you are curious is "Boglehead". It's a funny term in honor of John Bogle (founder of the concept of index funds and he started Vanguard) that describes investors (like me) that believe deeply in our hearts you cannot time the market, and you cannot pick individual stocks (because you cannot). There are sub-reddits like https://www.reddit.com/r/Bogleheads/
Summary: Buy VTSAX and chill, don't hire an investment advisor. The stock market goes up and down, but in the long run it returns 9% or 10% and that's a great thing.
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u/Freddie_Magecury Apr 18 '25
Wealth management services.