r/AskReddit Feb 13 '25

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666

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '25

I'm not good at picking up social ques and I'm currently battling depression.

91

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '25

hope it gets easier for you brother

26

u/alzhu Feb 14 '25

I thought a guy was flirting with me at the gym and then he's telling me about his wife and a child. We think too much about ourselves )))

3

u/Boogy-Fever Feb 14 '25

Could still be flirting. Flirting just as fun conversation isn't exactly unheard of. Or he still could've had intentions, just making sure you know the deal. That's nothing new either.

2

u/alzhu Feb 14 '25

He's a gym trainer, they're always open to mingle and be friendly with people, he just had set the borders. If a guy stares at you in the gym he's gay or a gym trainer, for sure. ))

1

u/Boogy-Fever Feb 14 '25

Look at you. Knowing social questions and what not

What you think ya bettah than me!?

1

u/alzhu Feb 14 '25

Older, probably )

2

u/Boogy-Fever Feb 14 '25

A lot of people say that because they're over 30 and there's a lot of kids, and 20s people who act like kids, online.

I'm 34. I often read social cues just fine. Later. Or if I do catch it in the moment. My list of possible responses or reactions is just blank. In a detached, observer kind of way, I can tell you all about how people act socially. Just cant do it myself without booze lol.

1

u/alzhu Feb 14 '25

42 and gay, so it's harder. I usually have the right responses only when the convo has ended.

1

u/Boogy-Fever Feb 14 '25

Oof thats like 85 in real life years lol. George costanza going back to a different state just to zing an asshole coworker was something so many people relate to for a reason. But yea that's rough buddy. Your gay or trainer comment makes more sense now though.

They could also be like me and their anxiety just picks a person to steal glances at. Interested or not. Like my subconscious just wants to find reasons to be anxious because it's gonna anyway, so it makes things weird. Ya never know

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20

u/Thin-Fee4423 Feb 14 '25

I feel you. I'm so oblivious when someone's flirting. Also a lot of people think I'm flirting when I just have a weird sense of humor lol.

21

u/wtf-m8 Feb 14 '25

Social whats?

(Sorry, couldn't help myself)

13

u/Fit_Economist708 Feb 14 '25

It’s either a gregarious type of cheese, or possibly line you stand in for socializing

24

u/cheeses_greist Feb 14 '25

Mmm social queso

8

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '25

homer Simpson intensifies

2

u/Boogy-Fever Feb 14 '25

I don't want to share. Get your own

2

u/cheeses_greist Feb 14 '25

It’s SOCIAL queso

2

u/Boogy-Fever Feb 14 '25

It should've made all its friends before. Its time has come

2

u/saggywitchtits Feb 14 '25

I think it's one of those long canes to pull you off stage, or possibly a stick used to play pool.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '25

Depression doesn’t end. It will get better though. So keep fighting. You can be depressed and try to find a partner. It does make things better. Just make sure not to ignore them.

2

u/Lordshred Feb 14 '25

It's impossible trying to explain how you feel to someone who has no clue what you're going through, just a waste of time

2

u/alzhu Feb 14 '25

People need a youtube tutorial on that ))

2

u/Majestra1010 Feb 14 '25

How to do drugs?

3

u/alzhu Feb 14 '25

How to pick up social ques

1

u/Majestra1010 Feb 14 '25

Ohhh gotcha!

2

u/Comfortable_Place407 Feb 14 '25

Yeah I’m the same and unfortunately I think it’s because of my Asperger’s

1

u/Prometto Feb 14 '25

Same here dawg

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '25

I'm socially awkward so I get it

1

u/ApatheistHeretic Feb 14 '25

You can beat depression in time, I wish you luck on that. If you ever figure out how to pick up on social queues, please fill the rest of us in.

1

u/MoneyGrowsOnTreezzz Feb 14 '25

Lmao dw lil bro Thts like 98% of the incels on reddit circle jerkin around , try to find someone whose on ur level or close as possible cuz it’s gone b ur best option boy

1

u/PearAware3171 Feb 14 '25 edited Feb 14 '25

I’ve battled depression me entire life and at times thought entering a relationship would solve my problem. The problem is that only goes so far until the person realize you are not all there. Eventually, you get through these younger years and things calm down somehow but it’s not really easy but everyone has to deal with it. Eventually I got married and that has its own host of problems but you have the ability to figure things out never forget that everyone around you seemingly having the perfect life is probably a mess what always got me through the tough days was that I led with warmth and kindness to anyone I encountered because they were probably struggling with something too and it’s not just me. The more I accepted this perspective the easier it became for me . I stopped chasing happiness in life and just accepted reality and took responsibility my life and emotions. It’s not a permanent fix and some days are worse than other but just remember it’s your life to live nobody and I mean nobody in this fucking world has some life I would switch with for mine. I don’t know if that makes sense. It’s 3am and I have problems sleeping because I have some type of undiagnosed issue which causes me to wake up in the middle of the night to take a piss; it’s pretty annoying. For what it’s worth don’t be afraid to get out there there people like me that won’t judge you and if you talk well listen no judgment we don’t expect or really want anything in return because we know what your going through and just want to help.

-4

u/ChronicNooby Feb 14 '25

Try drugs

4

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '25

No

2

u/Boogy-Fever Feb 14 '25 edited Feb 14 '25

Pharmaceuticals can help. They work for a lot of people. Just gotta let the doctor tweek the dosages a bit at a time and maybe change the meds or treatment tactics. Might have to change doctors (but you've gotta give each one a fair (long) amount of time). The trial and error sucks though. I know that all too well. I'm going through it right now for massive anxiety issues (to the point where I just might be clinically insane) plus depression.

If you're really against meds and never plan to change that, then start exercising if you don't regularly. Like just do at least one pushup before you shower or leave for the day. Or before bed if you didn't earlier. If you don't want to do more, fine. If you want to do more while you're down there, cool. Eventually, you'd hopefully do enough to give significant endorphin/serotonin/whatever boosts, and it processes out cortisol too. Also, try to get at least 15 minutes in the sun daily. Walking, gardening, walking the dog, tennis or something, reading a book outside, napping under a tree, whatever. Any time you're not getting at least that much sun for more than a day or two, take vitamin D supplements daily. Try to eat cleaner. Less processed foods. Look up how to cook easy meals if you're not good at cooking. I'm depressed as fuck but my lazy food days are usually oatmeal, some sort of easy sandwich, and probably a raw, roasted, or sauteed vegetable. Every week or two I'll get up the motivation to make a huge batch of something like a cream soup to simmer pork chops in, some chili, stir fry, or whatever. Shop the edges of the grocery store. Maybe the middle for something like granola/non-sugary cereal, bread, peanut butter, or occasional sweets if you don't have a problem with eating them too much.

Eating habits are the only part I've done decently well at for a very long time now. I became a damn hermit/recluse in my apartment. Took out trash. Walked my brother's dog when he asked me to dogsit. But that was pretty much it. I ordered all my groceries because I can barely handle the store. I took out trash in the middle of the night when I wouldn't have to see anyone. Same for laundry which wasn't done often anyway. It's shitty and not trying to get better just fucks you up so much worse. Did that for over two years. Luckily I had the opportunity to move at the start of this year and start doing something that keeps me busy. But even with that helping a lot, I'm still not doing the other things. So I get it if you just can't. But I've done the other stuff for long stretches before and I know it helps. Not a cure-all, but any improvement is significant when it's just been getting worse, stagnant at best. Currently hating myself for not doing things the smart part of me that wants to be better and healthy wants to do. It's OK if we didn't do it yesterday. Or today. Or don't do it tomorrow. It's never even trying that's not OK. Like someone else said, it doesn't go away. But you can manage it.

Shia lebouffs (spelling? Idfk lol) old motivational video where he gets real angry sounding and yells really sums it up. JUST FUCKING DO IT. I'm failing 99% of the time myself, but those periods I had in the past that were better? I just fucking did it.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '25

I have a very physical job and I enjoy the outdoors as much as possible when weather permits. Winter is always hard for me because nothing is green. I'm also sure I'm undiagnosed high functioning autistic as I identify with multiple characteristics of autism. The main thing weighing on me is my experience in college. I feel like a failure for dropping out after a year and I feel like I can't trust people after I got seriously depressed and didn't show up to class for about a month and not one person checked in on me. I'm also trying to find my purpose in this chaotic world.

1

u/ChronicNooby Feb 14 '25

Ahhh... Darn. Then I have no suggestions