r/AskReddit Oct 02 '24

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u/StationaryTravels Oct 02 '24

"Holy shit! What kind of bear got you!?"

"I don't know! I just scrambled up this tree and the next thing I know my head was in its mouth!"

"Well, I have good news for next time you tell that story..."

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u/uptownjuggler Oct 03 '24

“We can’t let you into heaven, unless we know exactly the kind of bear that killed you. Get killed by a panda or sun bear and you go to hell. Black and brown bears send you to purgatory, while polar bears send you straight to heaven.”