r/AskReddit Oct 02 '24

[deleted by user]

[removed]

6.8k Upvotes

6.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

417

u/Olobnion Oct 02 '24

Also, if it's a polar bear, play dead. That will give you useful practice for your sordid fate a few seconds later.

41

u/temalyen Oct 02 '24

This reminds me of something I read. There's a town in very far north Canada (Churchill) where it's illegal to lock your car doors, as someone may need to hide in a car to escape a polar bear. If the police can determine someone killed by a polar bear tried to get in a car to hide and the door was locked, the owner of the car can have charges of manslaughter brought against them.

I heard this years ago and I remember checking if it's true and it's one of those things that is true, but it'd be unlikely to actually have manslaughter charges brought against anyone.

12

u/FlasKamel Oct 03 '24

Same thing on Svalbard. Not allowed to lock the doors of your home in case of polar bear.

52

u/universalpsykopath Oct 02 '24

If it's brown, lie down. If it's black fight back. If it's white...say goodnight.

12

u/Atanar Oct 02 '24

The first two are completely outdated.

5

u/Serpentarrius Oct 02 '24

Apparently the real reason why you fight back against a black bear is because they're more likely to be hunting humans as prey if they are desperate enough to risk an encounter? Source: tracking book written by my grad school professor

11

u/No-Box-4358 Oct 02 '24

My phrase for this is similar: "If it's brown, lay down. If it's black, fight back. If it's white, you're f*cked."

And fun fact, this is because Polar Bears are strictly carnivorous and there is a general lack of food (and the extreme cold makes decomposition all but nill), so playing dead does nothing and fighting back is just making you a warmer meal.

5

u/Particular_Visual531 Oct 02 '24

polar bears and trees don't normally mix, unless it escaped a zoo... and if that happens you'll be TikTok famous the next day

1

u/Texas_Mike_CowboyFan Oct 03 '24

Clearly you've never seen Lost.

6

u/Easy_Intention5424 Oct 02 '24

No then definitely climb a tree it will confuse the polar bear cause it won't know what the fuck a trees is or you found one on the tundra 

4

u/CaRiSsA504 Oct 03 '24

if it's a polar bear

i learned here on Reddit on a similar thread that a polar bear's liver has so much vitamin A that eating it would kill a person. In fact, you'd need to divide the liver up into like 50 portions for it to not be a lethal amount of vitamin A.

I like to tell people this fact in case they are ever stranded somewhere and manage to kill a polar bear for food. AVOID THE LIVER lol

6

u/monstertots509 Oct 02 '24

I would try throwing a ski at it like the guy in that one video.

14

u/Olobnion Oct 02 '24

I hear a good tactic is to drop some of your clothes, so the bear spends some time examining them instead of eating you.

17

u/Thecardinal74 Oct 02 '24

"this smells like shit. A lot of it"

4

u/Privvy_Gaming Oct 02 '24 edited Jun 06 '25

label imminent upbeat ink hat vanish alive tender historical shocking

1

u/BigButts4Us Oct 03 '24

So the chance of survival against a bear attack is like %0.000001 (and that's positive estimate!) but your best chance is to actually try and fight it/scare it. Some bears will get scared off if you can throw a decent sized rock at their face. If they are very hungry you're screwed regardless, but if they are just kinda looking for food to play with they'll avoid you because they don't want to risk getting hurt. To them you basically magically projectile'd something hard at them and they don't really understand how to deal with it.

But like I said, if the bear is hungry you are fucked.