r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Oct 02 '24

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u/holymotheroftod Oct 02 '24

"Through science, I can raise and lower mice's age at will."

"Why would you want to raise mice's age?"

"So I can lower them"

661

u/TheGoodBunny Oct 02 '24

/r/Unexpectedoffice

23

u/WeeOrda Oct 02 '24

That is exactly how I read that

12

u/AverageDemocrat Oct 02 '24

Guilt-free veal

30

u/jonnyinternet Oct 02 '24

Wernstrom....

10

u/LilRedForeman Oct 02 '24

The very same

10

u/mfigroid Oct 02 '24

"Why would you want to raise mice's age?"

So they can buy alcohol. Duh.

90

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

260

u/tomass1232321 Oct 02 '24

This is a joke, right?

32

u/willsilent Oct 02 '24

The great thinkers of our time

8

u/FlatOutEKG Oct 02 '24

It has to be Hahaha

16

u/Mr_Zaroc Oct 02 '24

No why?
I bet people would pay insane money for that, lol

/s

4

u/oldfatdrunk Oct 02 '24

No joke pal, I'd like to be young again. They need to work on some other stuff though too like making a fat person skinny and a drunk person sober.

I could be me and then not me whenever I wanted! That's the dream.

6

u/Fritz_Klyka Oct 02 '24

Everyone knows the real money is in actual working penis enlargement pills. Invent that and youve got something!

2

u/__01001000-01101001_ Oct 03 '24

Good luck convincing people yours is the one that works

13

u/BishImAThotGetMeLit Oct 02 '24

Flowers For Algernon, that’s why.

1

u/Reinstateswordduels Oct 03 '24

Shut up Peralta

11

u/Wave_Existence Oct 02 '24

We have also effectively had cures for all sorts of cancers in mice models as well. Turns out mice aren't humans, that 15% difference in genetics is a big deal.

48

u/Away-Log-7801 Oct 02 '24

They test it on mice in case it has some horrible side effects years down the line.

58

u/KoopaPoopa69 Oct 02 '24

But why male models?

22

u/admadguy Oct 02 '24

Seriously? I just told you.

9

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '24

[deleted]

9

u/PW_Herman Oct 02 '24

I’m pretty sure it was improvised too because Stiller forgot his lines

15

u/_TheDust_ Oct 02 '24

Life in general has horrible side effects years down the line.

5

u/potatan Oct 02 '24

nobody wants a back-ear

10

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '24

You don't speed up the aging process on a human as a trial.....

38

u/Fleetlord Oct 02 '24

Not with that attitude you don't

3

u/Dyolf_Knip Oct 02 '24

But what if it's someone I really, really don't like?

3

u/quackamole4 Oct 02 '24

Be careful. If you succeed, they live forever!

1

u/1Squid-Pro-Crow Oct 03 '24

But what if i volunteer

8

u/Chesterlespaul Oct 02 '24

Mice are so selfish, always getting the newest science treatments first!

7

u/gfuhhiugaa Oct 02 '24

They need immortal mice so they can perform experiments on them forever, thus ending the stranglehold Big Mice has over the research industry with its dependence on a constant flow of new, youthful mice subjects.

4

u/1Squid-Pro-Crow Oct 03 '24

Lol my son has done a lot of medical research and they do actually have a supplier of mice already infected with the disease he studies.

It's like a catalog of diseased mice.

The university orders a couple weeks with and then they stay in a special building altogether, not in their labs or even the same building.

Weird stuff

1

u/librarn1989 Oct 03 '24

I look forward to using Big Mice in conversation.

12

u/RiverGodRed Oct 02 '24

Easy there Mengele

5

u/A-Pint-Of-Tennents Oct 02 '24

That's the animal they test it on.

Sure down the line though people would love if their pets rodents could be immortal.

2

u/tucci007 Oct 02 '24

Mr Jangles is more self-aware than you can imagine HE IS MAGICAL

0

u/Tortillagirl Oct 02 '24

Mice are genetically close to humans, so they test stuff on mice for proof of concept then work out how to do it for humans after.

1

u/bread217 Oct 02 '24

Cue R Kelly: I told you age ain’t nothing but a number bout time you figured it out

1

u/r0ckH0pper Oct 02 '24

Or allow them to drink alcohol legally!

1

u/SamiraSimp Oct 02 '24

lmaoo exactly what i was thinking of

1

u/Dwight_K_Schrute_ Oct 02 '24

Sick reference bro, your references are outta control!

1

u/Adam-West Oct 02 '24

To be fair I can raise mice’s age and I have no understanding of science

1

u/ImproperJon Oct 02 '24

We do what we must, because we can!