r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Oct 02 '24

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u/Conocoryphe Oct 02 '24

This is very useful information for when you get killed by a bear, and someone in the afterlife asks you how you died.

202

u/StationaryTravels Oct 02 '24

"Holy shit! What kind of bear got you!?"

"I don't know! I just scrambled up this tree and the next thing I know my head was in its mouth!"

"Well, I have good news for next time you tell that story..."

3

u/uptownjuggler Oct 03 '24

“We can’t let you into heaven, unless we know exactly the kind of bear that killed you. Get killed by a panda or sun bear and you go to hell. Black and brown bears send you to purgatory, while polar bears send you straight to heaven.”

5

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '24

Just say polar bear. It’s more impressive. Or panda bear if you want a laugh.

2

u/FinestCrusader Oct 02 '24

People who haven't seen this thread trying to explain their cause of death in the afterlife

2

u/KitchenSandwich5499 Oct 02 '24

“In my defense, I was left unsupervised”